My wife will be 32 next month. I’ll be 48 in October. It hasn’t been a problem for us, ever. We turned out to be the best mates for each other. We each have enough of our own interests so that we don’t bore each other, and have so much other stuff in common that it’s always interesting. The age thing never comes up. No one’s ever mentioned it to us, if they even know. It’s probably because I don’t look old enough to be her dad, even though it would have been a biological possibility. And in case it raises any eyebrows, I didn’t want her because she was so much younger than me… it was a case of the facts. She was OK with it. I was OK with it. (Dr. Laura wasn’t OK with it - because I asked - but she can go into a closet and suck eggs.)
Last year (at 31) I dated a 19-year old for a few months. I spent the entire time thinking her father would kill me if he ever found out. Chick was born after Nintendo, freaked me right out.
Anyway, I found myself alot more reserved and less assertive than I would normally be with a girl closer to my own age. She was definitely calling the shots. If he seems ill-at-ease or sort of lame, you might need to reassure him that you’re cool with the age difference, or that you like older guys, or something.
But 27 to 19 isn’t as big a stretch as 31 to 19, so I dunno. That’s all I got.
I’ve been to “real” dance clubs, in Canada, Paris and London. I didn’t have a terrible time, but it’s never something I’d go out of my way to do. It just seemed like such a waste of time. An expensive waste of time. Swing and salsa, on the other hand – I am very much looking forward to being able to go swing dancing in Oregon. 
Not after-, but mid-, if by “backpack trip” you mean “study abroad”.
I have been abroad on vacation while seeing a young man back home, and it wasn’t awful. I’m not a big fan of casual sex any more, though, so although it might be tempting I think I’ll be able to manage.
Don’t we all? 
I’m pretty certain that I like the gentlemen, though.
I like cities, but Ashland suits me just wonderfully. When I graduate, I imagine I’ll be going where the jobs are, and likewise for him. Fortunately, there’s a fantastic font of theater jobs here in town. A lot of (competent) students stay on with the Shakespeare Festival for a few years as interns/assistants, building resume material and working with geniuses, before moving on. (And sometimes they never do!)
Who wants to go dancing until 7 a.m. anyway? :eek: (I’m being facetious, of course, but 7 a.m. is LATE! It’s one thing to be at a cast party where no one wants to go home so you flop around on the host’s couch talking about Ibsen until the sun rises and someone puts on a pot of coffee, but out in the real world, with other people and cars? 7 a.m. is LATE!)
What, I can’t have both?
And believe you me, if I have my way, I plan to.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!
Not that I have the gentlemen falling all over me all the time, but I was surprised at how reserved this one suddenly got when I brought up an actual date! (And men say women are the ones with the crazy mind games. Fah! :))
If I may ask, how would you recommend going about slipping those little reassurances in? Because I’m thinking saying “And hey, so, just in case you’re wondering? It’s, y’know, totally cool that you’re, like, totally old and stuff!” probably wouldn’t be the best way to do it.
Just treat him like he’s a shy geek who doesn’t know what to do. You can talk it out all Oprah-style, but you’ll probably cover more ground faster if you just take the initiative in holding hands or something. He’ll be worried about skeeving you out, so he almost certainly won’t make the first move where any kind of physical contact is involved. The cradle may well have to beg (repeatedly) to be robbed. If you do decide to talk about it, I’d say keep it light. Maybe mention how you have to get home because you never miss an episode of Sesame Street, or you don’t want to miss JV cheerleader practice, or something.
I dunno, I never really overcame my feeling of being a lecherous creep in my case, but that’s probably because I had a bunch of female friends closer to my own age who were constantly nagging me for being a lecherous creep.
A statistical fact is not a universal fact. “most men’s sex drive diminishes after 30” is true. I know several guys that I’m surprised they ever managed to have kids (must have been the wifes raping them, I swear); I also know several whose sex drive was in perfect health until they were in their eighties. 
I look 6-12 years younger than I am, so several times I’ve had younger guys hitting on me. I didn’t have a problem with it, but for some reason they did. I’ve also had guys my age who ran for the hills when they found out they were my age :wally
When we were 17, one of my high school friends started dating a guy who was 28. You would easily have pegged either at 23-24. At that point, he was looking to get hitched and she didn’t, so they almost broke up… until something that would be too long to explain changed her mind. They’ve been married for almost 20 years; their twins are now 16 I think.
Another friend started dating a high school senior when she was 12 (they met at a “junior disco”, a club that opens in the afternoon and doesn’t sell alcohol, she got in with a fake ID because you’re supposed to be 14). They got pregnant the summer before she started college, she didn’t want to get married because she wasn’t sure that she wanted to marry him and she certainly hadn’t planned on getting married at that point, he was always very supportive, they ended up getting married, got another boy. They’ve been together over 20 years. He never even considered asking her to “marry me and just forget this college shit”, like some other guys I know of, who were the same age as their college girlfriends but weren’t going to college and didn’t see the value of an education.
From what you say in your second post, I think age isn’t really an issue here. You are at a point when you are defining yourself, but so is he in a way - going back to college puts you straight into the “redefinition underway” bin. He’s gone back because he’s figured out he wants to do something he didn’t use to know he wanted… but he still has a lot of details to work out.
Whether the ride is long or short, absolutely passionate or warmly friendly… enjoy