Talking to girls (not as lame as it sounds, I hope!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

[QUOTE=enigm4tic]
Damn, my problem is that I can’t go up to the girl in the first place. Give me an opening, some sort of shared conversation opener (somebody doing something outrageous to comment on, waiting in line, anything simple I know I can relate on) and I can take it from there, but sit me in a party and tell me to introduce myself and I freeze, i practically need to carry around a pick to break the ice (figuratively speaking)
[/QUOTE]

This a huge topic, and people that are really good at it (0.0001% of the population) still try out new material all the time.

I’ve found one that works surprisingly well, given the right situation. (Right, meaning not in a dark alley at 2am.) Here it is:

tap tap (on the shoulder)

“Hey. What’s goin’ on?”

What you do after that, of course, is what this thread is all about. But I find that as an opener, it’s gold.

Here’s a fun one for on an elevator. Even if you’re not interested in starting a conversation, it’s a great way to, ahem, elevate everyone’s mood. About two seconds after the door closes, face forward, don’t smile, just look dead serious. In a low voice – almost a whisper – say “Isn’t it interesting how everyone shuts up on an elevator.” To the first person that laughs (hopefully she’s the cute one), cut them off before they say more than a syllable with “Shhh! No talking!”

Needless to say, that not a great idea if anyone is having a converstion.

42

[QUOTE=tdn]
<snip>n the right situation. (Right, meaning not in a dark alley at 2am.) Here it is:

tap tap (on the shoulder)

“Hey. What’s goin’ on?”

What you do after that, of course, is what this thread is all about. But I find that as an opener, it’s gold.
<snip>
[/QUOTE]

I’ve found, “Hey, you’re pretty hot, what’s your name?” works surprisingly well. It lets them know you’re interested right off the bat, and usually embarrasses them just the right amount (enough to smile and blush a bit, not enough to make them turn their backs).

43

[QUOTE=Santo Rugger]
I’ve found, “Hey, you’re pretty hot, what’s your name?” works surprisingly well. It lets them know you’re interested right off the bat, and usually embarrasses them just the right amount (enough to smile and blush a bit, not enough to make them turn their backs).
[/QUOTE]

That works perfectly with the local girls, but if he says that to one of the Jersey-transplant Duke girls, he’ll get a knee in the balls. Very tricky telling your target audience soemtimes.

44

[QUOTE=tdn]
Here’s a fun one for on an elevator. Even if you’re not interested in starting a conversation, it’s a great way to, ahem, elevate everyone’s mood. About two seconds after the door closes, face forward, don’t smile, just look dead serious. In a low voice – almost a whisper – say “Isn’t it interesting how everyone shuts up on an elevator.” To the first person that laughs (hopefully she’s the cute one), cut them off before they say more than a syllable with “Shhh! No talking!”

Needless to say, that not a great idea if anyone is having a converstion.
[/QUOTE]

I like it.

45

[QUOTE=the 30 year-old student]
Hey there,

Any tips gratefully appreciated!

[/QUOTE]

Here are some websites that have helped me a great deal.
http://www.seductiontuition.com/

46

[QUOTE=tdn]
Ah, but what about the gap between hello and small talk? That’s a tough one.

Have a few canned stories or situational questions already prepared. When she starts responding to those, she’ll hand you material. Stories can be tough, but situational questions are pretty easy to think up in advance, or even on the spot.

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

“You get all your Christmas shopping done yet?”

“Nice tan. You been to the beach?”

Boom. Instant topic where there’s some nice give and take potential.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=tdn]
Important point. Talk about yourself, but only a little. Bring it back to her soon.

What’s that saying? “She was ready to sleep with him until he talked her out of it by trying to talk her into it.”
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=tdn]
This a huge topic, and people that are really good at it (0.0001% of the population) still try out new material all the time.

I’ve found one that works surprisingly well, given the right situation. (Right, meaning not in a dark alley at 2am.) Here it is:

tap tap (on the shoulder)

“Hey. What’s goin’ on?”

What you do after that, of course, is what this thread is all about. But I find that as an opener, it’s gold.

Here’s a fun one for on an elevator. Even if you’re not interested in starting a conversation, it’s a great way to, ahem, elevate everyone’s mood. About two seconds after the door closes, face forward, don’t smile, just look dead serious. In a low voice – almost a whisper – say “Isn’t it interesting how everyone shuts up on an elevator.” To the first person that laughs (hopefully she’s the cute one), cut them off before they say more than a syllable with “Shhh! No talking!”

Needless to say, that not a great idea if anyone is having a converstion.
[/QUOTE]

Aren’t you the one who’s always complaining about the dismal state of his love life? I’m a little confused as to why you’re offering advice on this subject.

47

[QUOTE=Green Bean]
Aren’t you the one who’s always complaining about the dismal state of his love life? I’m a little confused as to why you’re offering advice on this subject.
[/QUOTE]

I suspect in all his trials and errors he may have found some things that work. Advice I would rather take over advice from a once married high school sweetheart couple.

48

[QUOTE=Green Bean]
Aren’t you the one who’s always complaining about the dismal state of his love life? I’m a little confused as to why you’re offering advice on this subject.
[/QUOTE]

Always complaining? No. I’ve spent maybe four to six months complaining about it, and about three months doing something about it. Compare it to the seven years I’ve spent as a member of the Dope in a (more or less) happy and committed relationship.

I’m not permanently stuck in a bad situation. When one applies one’s self to a situation, one tends to learn. It amazes me that on a board dedicated to fighting ignorance, so many members do not get the concept of the learning curve.

ParentalAdvisory got it in one.

49

[QUOTE=Diomedes]
That works perfectly with the local girls, but if he says that to one of the Jersey-transplant Duke girls, he’ll get a knee in the balls. Very tricky telling your target audience soemtimes.
[/QUOTE]

See, now after living in Hoboken for three years, I would think that something stupid like “hey you’re hot” would be right up their alley. But, yeah, basically it works great on girls who are just happy to have someone pay attention to them.

The problem with the “hey you’re hot” line is that it’s kind of a conversation dead end. Not to mention that the girl probably already knows she’s hot (if she is) and has her pick of any number of drunk guys with no game. “yes…we know we are hot. Can we help you with something?” You devalue yourself in their eyes by giving them the power of hotness and essentially feeding into their egos.

On that show The Pickup Artist, Mystery and his crew teach a variation of that line. They say something like “you’re pretty hot, but what do you have going for you other than your looks?” The theory is that you are complementing her with something she already knows, but at the same time, you are devaluing her by negating the one thing she was hoping that you were going for. It now puts her in a position where she feels she needs to prove herself to you.

I see this with a lot of guys who fancy themselves “players”. They throw drinks or money at girls and drop complements and whatnot. Essentially all this does is establish that they are the prize and you are attempting to measure up. Make YOU the prize.

50

[QUOTE=Triskadecamus]
Chat up every middle aged to old woman you meet, they love it. Try to hit mostly married women, with kids, and grandkids. Even the lamest possible conversational gambit, in any situation will work. Be nice, be humorous, polite, and ask a lot about what goes on around town. These women will not be your “target group” but don’t worry. Within a month of making friends with these women they will begin fixing you up with every available age appropriate woman they know. It’s a girl thing.
[/QUOTE]

I was going to say “slip her the sausage,” but on second thought, quoting this for emphasis is much more helpful. It gives you good conversation practice, and it’s fun to be friendly :slight_smile:

51

[QUOTE=msmith537]
I see this with a lot of guys who fancy themselves “players”. They throw drinks or money at girls and drop complements and whatnot.
[/QUOTE]

And what can be hotter than trying to buy someone’s affection?

52

[QUOTE=tdn]
And what can be hotter than trying to buy someone’s affection?
[/QUOTE]

If you are the type of woman who is looking for a guy to lavish you with gifts and crap and pay for your lifestyle, apparently nothing. However as a guy, that basically means your “game” is essentially entering into a bidding war in order to win some golddiggers heart. And unfortunately, if you live in Manhattan, there’s always a guy with more money.