I can’t explain it, and won’t even attempt to excuse myself, but I love cannibal jokes. Guess I’m just warped. Unfortunately, I only know/remember two of them:
Two cannibals are eating a clown, and one says to the other “Hey, does this guy taste funny to you?”
Two cannibals standing in front of a campfire, one says to the other “I hate my mother-in-law” and the other cannibal says “That’s okay; just eat the rice.”
So, with a topic as sick, twisted, gross and entirely icky as cannibalism, there have to be lots more. So let’s have your best (oh, okay, and worst) cannibal jokes right here.
Two nuns are in a rapidly heating cauldron. One nun prays earnestly to her Saviour. The other nun starts laughing hysterically. “Why are you laughing?” asks the first nun, “We’re about to meet our Father!” The laughing nun says, “I just crapped in the soup!”
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker are captured by cannibals. The Chief goes to the Frenchman and says, “We are going to kill you, eat you, and make a canoe out of your skin!” But, being a considerate tribe, the Chief offers the Frenchman a last request. The Frenchman asks for a large cognac. Naturally (since this is the way things work in jokes) he is granted a large tumbler of cognac, and is then killed.
The Chief says to the Englishman, “We are going to kill you, eat you, and make a canoe out of your skin!” and offers the Englishman a last request. The Englishman chooses a pint of ale, after which he is killed.
The Chief says to the New Yorker, “We are going to kill you, eat you, and make a canoe out of your skin!” and offers him a last request. The New Yorker asks for a fork.
“A fork?” asks the Chief.
“Yes, a fork.”
So the New Yorker gets his fork. Immediately he starts stabbing himself over and over again while shouting, “Here’s your fucking canoe!”
While walking past the entrance to a cave, one cannibal sees another cannibal frantically gobbling down the many deposits of bat guano on the ground.
“Are you crazy?” he asks. “Why are you eating that?”
The other cannibal pauses from shovelling shit down his gullet and explains, “That last guy I ate turned out to be a lawyer and I have to get the taste out of my mouth!”
A cannibal isn’t feeling well and goes to see the witch doctor, who asks what the cannibal ate most recently.
“Well, yesterday I came across this short, fat guy who was mostly bald and wearing a brown robe, and I killed him, boiled him and ate him,” the cannibal replies.
“There’s your problem,” the witch doctor says. “He wasn’t a boiler, he was a friar.”
