Rereading your OP, you claim to have no corporate bullshit to deal with. “If you want a manual changed call sales”, that is the epitomy of corporate bullshit.
Nothing magical needed. Just call sales yourself. It is your company and it is you answering the same old tired ass question day in and day out.
I wonder, when someone calls in, describes known, persistent problem, are you the jerks that still start with “is it plugged in?”.
Actually, customers probably have more pull than the tech guys when it comes to getting actual results out of a corporation. Y’all, after all, are the ones with the money. I don’t know from nothing, really, but in the retail situation where I work, us worker bees can’t do shit about shinola. We can tell the higher-ups about what the customers want until our faces turn blue, and they don’t listen - but one customer reports themselves and management does backflips. It’s all about who’s holding the purse strings.
Yep.
Tech support can be a thankless job. By your own admission many callers are morons that seem to want someone to bitch slap. Your superiors don’t give a shit that you are getting bitch slapped and you have already resorted to passing the buck to sales.
Being in tech support can suck unless you have a “sunshine-up-my-ass-everyday” attitude and needing tech support from someone who has a “why don’t you call sales?” attitude is equally frustrating.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent my frustrations at the people who are more deserving of it than my waitress or employees or family. Keep up the good work and don’t fool yourself into thinking that I, or someone like me, will be calling you regularly as long as you are working the phones. 
I tell my customers who want something I cannot provide, “Let’s double team to get that done. You call and request and in the meantime I’ll put together a plan to show how it can be done.”
I use that tactic too. I will put it in my notes and in my nightly email to my supervisor, who is supposed to pass it up to the director of customer service. I still tell my customers to use the suggestion box on our main web page, so the engineers/ops will hear their request twice.
Let me reiterate how nice it is to work for a company that takes my input seriously. One of the things that really griped me about supporting microsoft’s products was that they did not fix the issues until the next release, unless it was a well-publicized security risk. Once Tech Republic puts the word out on a security flaw, Microsoft will release a patch within a week.
Just because tech support is available 24/7 doesn’t mean I’m on the phone 24/7. 
Oh, and Hank, I apologize for coming in late & hard on a pile-on. My comments were a little more personal than you deserved. You seem like an OK guy and very knowledgable in your field. I just can’t take seeing a geek brother in a spot without lending support. Kudos for standing up for yourself while still showing that you actually read what we said.
Hey we have to work together Jack@ss to get things done. Whatever crappy attitude I have about some tech support people is vented in private or somewhere like here. I need you guys.
Thanks Hank!
koeeoaddi retapes her glasses, reboots her computer and rewinds Episode 608 of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Well, as an ISP tech with two years under my belt, I for one have no problem with the clients who call and aren’t all that bright. I take it easy, and although it can be a little frustrating, the hardest part to deal with them is holding back the laughter.
(Me: What operating system are you using?
Client: I’m not sure, how do you tell?
Me: When you start you computer up, as it’s loading, what do you see?
Client: joyously OH! Microwave Windows 96!
Me: Please hold. puts on hold hehehe)
The clients that get to me are the ones who yell and swear. But then again, these calls do not last terribly long, as I do not take verbal abuse, and after I warn them that I will terminate the call if they do not stop yelling/swearing, I am free to hang up in their faces. Back into the 30 minute wait queue for you.
But now that I work graveyard shift, no bastards ever call me. I guess being an ass tires them right out.
Maybe, but don’t count on it. I did hardware repair for IBM for over a decade. There wasn’t much point in updating manuals because people didn’t read them. Hell, they usually didn’t keep them after the computers were set up, in spite of the fact that the service philosophy of IBM at the time required that you have the manuals available for problem-solving.
In the early days, sometimes I’d come to work on a keypunch machine [yes, I know how much that dates me]. It would have a note on it that said “Broke.” That’s it. And I’d do my best to find out what was wrong and fix it. Sometimes it was obvious what the problem was and sometimes it wasn’t.
I’m convinced that many people expect support to be able to know what’s wrong with a machine by magic or telepathy or something. That’s why they have trouble giving information – they feel like you should already know what the problem is.
Good luck. Support can be satisfying and it can be hell. It all depends. 10% of your users will have 90% of the problems you run into.
I’d guess that ignorance and obnoxiousness are very likely found from time to time on either end of the tech support phone line.
Hopefully not at the same time.
I’ve worked in both Development and Support.
I truly believe that Development could care less about what the customer wants and only what the competition is doing. I’ve seen many customer important features be ignored for something of much less need, just because a competitor has it. In some cases, adding a bit of customer requested functionality would be way too expensive and time consuming to add and therefore jack up the price of the program - which the customer surely doesn’t want.
I can also tell you that the customer’s word holds the most weight for program suggestions. Part of the reason the customer should contact the responsible department directly, is so that there is no way that the middleman can misinterpret what the customer wants and screw up what they need. It also takes more than one customer requesting a feature to bring about enough buzz to finally be noticed and added. In some cases, it takes YEARS to get a frequently requested feature into the program. These departments do not listen to Support. We mean nothing in the grand scheme of things.
As a support tech, I am extremely irritated by those customers who call up to ask “How do I do this?” There is a very well written and easy to read manual that TELLS YOU HOW!
The support dept I work for is meant for when you are down – we are not here to train you on how to use the software, hardware, or Operating System. Our only obligation is to fix an issue with our program – nothing else. If the issue is not with our software, we cannot and will not go any further. In some cases, we could get sued for troubleshooting someone else’s product – we would be liable for any damages sustained.
Being on these training calls takes away from the customers who are DOWN and in dire need of assistance.
My biggest irritations are when we are being used by customers for How to issues, and when we get calls from those who do not follow directions. In some cases, you practically have to fight with them to get them to do what is necessary to fix the problem!
In our department, there is a standard set of questions that MUST be answered before “true” troubleshooting begins. It doesn’t matter that you’ve done it on your own – you’re going to have to do it again so we can “see” what results you get. You’d be amazed at the times I’ve made someone go through something they said they did already only to find out that “Hey! It’s working now!”.
If they’d really gone through that before calling, they’d have been up and running instead of bitching at us!
This didn’t start out as a rant, but once I got going, it was hard to stop. Thanks for listening!
How do you know it’s a known problem? All you’ve told me is that you know the problem. That doesn’t mean it appears in the database in exactly that form, if it appears at all. So how do you propose the tech “skip to the Answer Appendix?” The tech must define the problem precisely before a solution can be found. Often, the only way to define the problem is to do some basic (and not-so-basic) tests.
Also, as far as
I went on about your post for a grand total of one paragraph. The rest of my post was on another subject entirely. One of the difficulties of tech support is that it’s always hard to help someone when they claim to know what they’re doing but it turns out they can’t count to two.
As a customer of Tech Support, I’d like to say that I’ve always gotten good tech support, from companies like Garmin (a little old GPS unit company that writes their own DOS-5 based software, lol) on up to the biggies like Microsoft.
I knowjust enough to be dangerous and at least reasonably helpful to the techs that I’ve called upon for help.
Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately based on their responses) I’ve had the all time WEIRDEST problems with some of my programs and/or computers.
Conversations would go something like this:
Tech: okay, so you’ve tried abc through xyz for trouble shooting.
Me: yes, and it’s doing xy=bcsquared
Tech: ??WHAT?? I’ve never heard of that, this is Word? MSWord?
Me: yup
Tech: Laughs, Okay I have an idea, try this.
Me: follow directions, reboot, “nope, same thing”
Tech: Dang, this is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard of
Me: I know, I’ve even had an outside geek consultant come in and look at it, he finally suggested I call you.
…more suggestions…more failures…emails back and forth of patches and such.
And each time, the techs were perfect angels of patience despite the weirdness of the problem.
With one of the problems we finally did narrow it down to an imcompatibility of an old program with our network server. But the MS Word problem I never did figure out.
Anyway, sorry too long a story, the short version is that I think Techs rule, even when they weren’t able to get to the problem they were funny, patient and helped me on most problems quickly and efficiently.