I hope when the judge sentences the culprit it puts the fear of cod into him.
Yeah, I hope they throw the hook at him.
All these puns are giving me a haddock.
I’m feeling eel.
That’s easier to deal with than a case of the crabs.
And to top it all off:
(Almost) from the quoted article:
So the perp stole this stuff out of sheer shellfishness?
Yes, they need to punish this kid severely. You can’t cock a snook at the law and expect to skate by.
Aw, screw 'em. We can take this thread and filet up with puns.
I can’t believe no one has been able to tank his thread yet. We should be finished by now.
Yeah, we’re starting to flounder, now.
getting this far was just fluke.
I know I can’t take any mora this.
I think I smelt something fishy.
The next punster is going to have his head put on a pike.
Huh. Guess I’ve just been schooled.
I do admit, some of these are Brill-iant.
I believe there have been a few cases where prosecutors have tried to get animals accepted in court as witnesses. Specifically, parrots and/or other talking birds, who supposedly could verbally ID the criminal. IIRC one of these birds did a verbal reenactment of his owner’s murder, including saying the name of the murderer.
AFAIK, no judge has allowed that kind of testimony into a trial.
The perp will go to jail, and be surrounded by many gar-ds. He will then be beaten up, and require a sturgeon.