this is way out of my realm of knowledge, so I ask you clever people of the Dope to offer me your opinions.
My friend’s teenage girl, Laney*, (14 years old) has been over to my place and using one of my computers. She is, like most kids, I guess, addicted to myspace.
I accidentally saw her comments page, as in, I clearly wasn’t meant to. On the comments page, one of her friends (as in her best friend), has repeatedly posted comments such as
“Laney sucks dick” written in a variety of ways.
Now I’m pretty certain that she is not sexually active. I know that she got caught cutting school 6 weeks ago with the girl who is leaving the comments. I’m 99% sure that this is not bullying by one or the other, I’m thinking that they’re leaving messages like this for each other because they think it’s funny, or provocative to teenage boys, or wanting to be one of the crowd, or whatever.
Her profile is set to private, which is a good thing, but I know both her parents would be horrified, to say the least that Laney is debasing herself like this. And I say that, because she could easily delete the comments.
So now I have this knowledge that I wish I didn’t, I need to know what I should do with it. I am very good friends with both of her parents, but her mother is currently in hospital for at least another fortnight (she’s staying at her dads, which is why she’s around my place all the time), and I would usually like to chat to her mother about this. I think it could be uncomfortable for everyone if her dad has to address it. I have a feeling that he would ask me to speak to her as a girl (long story - was her step mum for a number of years (10) and as such she they and I consider each other immediate family) .
If I speak to her about it, what should I say? Should I say anything to anyone?
I care very deeply about this girl, and I don’t want to see her participate in self-destructive behaviour.
On the other hand I remember what it was like being 14 with burgeoning sexuality. I just guess back then we didn’t have the internet so it was all talk.
Ok, now that’s all as clear as mud, opinions/advice gratefully received.