teenage son

My 16 year old son has an awful time having a bowel movement. He eats well and of a healthy variety of foods. He eventually drops a huge load but what he goes through to do it is something else.

Dulcolax.

Plop plop doos doos… oh, what a relief it is…

Guh. I’m sick. Sorry.

Metamucil?

Better reading material in the bathroom.

Maybe it’s his diet. I can easily imagine how a diet skewed the wrong way would make it much harder for the body to process the junk.

If he were my son, I’d want to have him checked out by a doctor just in case it’s something more serious, like some kind of digestive disorder.

Were you just sharing, or is there a question in there somewhere?

I mean, if you’re not asking, I can think of several:

“I can hear my son from halfway across the house. I’m wondering, is what exactly is the loudest sound a human vocal chord can make, and is it possible my son’s surpassed that?”

“Is the book ‘Everybody poops!’ still good for 16 year olds who haven’t been potty trained? Is there a sequel perhaps?”

“Kinda curious here. Are cheetos, doritos, and tostitos considered part of a well and healthy variety of foods?”

“So do you think Greenspan will be raising interest rates for the 2002 fiscal year to offset the rising inflation in the Asian markets?”
Or perhaps you had another question in mind. In which case, I offer you this answer: Coffee. Lots of it. Trust me, the kid won’t know what hit him.

Does he eat a lot of cheese? Because this one time I ate a brick of cheese and couldn’t poop for a week. Finally I bought a dozen plums and consumed them in one sitting, so the natural forces of constipation and diarrhea negated each other.

It’s like integers, but practical.

You know, I can almost hear it from here. The sound of an adolescent voice, redolent with recrimination, yelling “Daaaaaaaad! You posted that on the internet?”

No wonder he’s anal retentive.

ahem Maybe the sounds you hear emminating from the bathroom arn’t pooping sounds.

I’ll respond to your implied question. Constipation in a 16 year old is a serious issue if it continues over an extended period of time and could be indicative of more serious incipient problems down the line. I would suggest you see a Gastro-intestinal specialist as soon as possible. A 16 year old shouldn’t be straining to go and he may need a more structured diet with less lactose and processed foods and more roughage and fruits.

Moved from General Questions to IMHO.

Little late on the trigger there. :smiley:

I’ve heard of being behind in your work, but this is ridiculous.

Compared to the OP’s son, who was a little behind in the behind.

That kid is now 27, and must weigh several tons.

Feed him figs.

I’m hoping everything came out in the end.

Is he smoking weed or taking other drugs?

Goes to show how many people only read the OP and then post without reading any of the rest of the thread.

Drink a lot of water, a lot of coffee, a lot of fruit and vegetables and stand back and watch the poop fly. Tell him to wear elastic waist pants and don’t wander far from the bathroom.

Wow. Was there a deleted spam post in there somewhere? How did a mod even find this to move it? Talk about a slow movement…

:eek:

samclem is duomaticolsen’s son! It all makes sense!