I never learned how to flirt. There were many, many times when I was younger, when someone would be flirting with me or coming on to me, and I didn’t realize it until afterward, when it was too late.
When my partner and I first met, I was literally staring at him, because he was so much my type . . . and I didn’t even realize that he was staring back.
If a girl is reallyreally beautiful and highly attractive to me I get real careful and stoic and otherwise act like a 12 year old asshole.
When I see a girl I like, the talking part of me seizes up like a sand-filled transmission. That tends to make flirting rather difficult.
I was always told I was flirting because I was making pleasant conversation with women. But I was also told by some guys that I wasn’t flirting correctly, and they offered to show me how the next day. Curse my inevitable inability to wake up on time.
My actual experience has always involved being friends with a girl, and some sort of non threatening touch. But I’m not sure how to explain what is actually nonthreatening–as it’s always when I’m not analyzing the situation, and just going on instinct. The best I can describe it is to watch those people who are constantly touching people of both genders. I’ve yet to find someone who freaks out if you gently poke them to get their attention.
Oh, and I always use a bit of teasing. Not making fun, but, you know, being playful. And I always use a lot of eye contact,
Then again, I’m far from the best at this sort of thing.
I do tease a lot (not, like, cock tease, just playfully tease) once I get to know someone and know what I can tease them with. I tease everyone, though, as long as they’re not a complete stiff, not just people I’m interested in. I really enjoy starting to tease someone new, because I’m very quiet and reserved until I get to know someone, and the first big tease that makes them break out laughing is very satisfactory. 