Another vote for this being Not The World’s Healthiest Relationship. I imagine he has some very good qualities, but in some fundamental ways, he still has some growing up to do.
And maybe, just maybe, you don’t want him to grow up. You don’t sound too alarmed by his “mama’s boy” status, and you do say
This sounds like maybe you don’t want him to have any kind of life outside of you—not just sexual experience.
I spent eight years of my life with a man who was a lot like this. He always felt like he had oats to sew, and he never came around and realized that I was the only one for him (until he was watching my ass end as I was running away). We’ve been apart for seven years now, and he never did find that greener grass he’d always been looking for over my shoulder.
Now that I am older and wiser, I wouldn’t ever let him near me again, and I can’t believe that I let him dictate the terms of our relationship for so long. You’ve only been with this guy for two years, but I can pretty much guarantee you that the next six won’t be any better. Please leave him, if only as a wake-up call.
Run.
Quickly.
That is all.
There’s a vast difference between “unsure/unready to make a commitment” and “using you as a convenience while shopping for the next chick” and from what you say he’s rather definitely in the second category.
Plus the whole never-dated, live-with-controlling-mama situation just screams “dysfunction”.
No, you’re not selfish, and I’ve no clue what you should do, but you aren’t in a good situation.
In all likehood, he’ll have a hard time getting over his regrets and won’t be able to commit to a relationship that would mean he’ll have to give up his hopes of living now what he thinks he has missed earlier. He’s going to feel trapped.
Also, are you sure that he loves you asmuch as you love him? Apparently not enough to counterbalance his regrets, at least.
I’ve no real advice to give, but you aren’t at all in the same boat, and the future of your relationship appears grim to me. 
Read Anastaseon’s post. Now read it again.
Got it?
If you want him all to yourself, shouldn’t he want you, and just you, just as much? I for one would hate to be in a relationship that the other person is in until he can get something better.
When (not if) you break up with him (and when you tell him exactly why you dumped him), he will either straighten up and get a life of his own, or he will continue to be a giant loser and you’ll be better off without him.
PrehensileRectum, I know it’s hard to hear everyone telling you to leave someone you care about. Back in July, I started a similar thread complaining about my boyfriend. “Leave him,” everyone said. My initial response was to feel attacked and get defensive and say, “No, you don’t understand.” But, in fact, they did understand, better than I did. Once I got past my defensiveness, I realized that everyone else was right.
I’m sorry, but I have to join in the chorus here. This is not the boyfriend you’re looking for. He needs to grow up, and so do you. You have to get past your selfishness; wanting someone “to be stuck with” you will never allow for a mature, healthy relationship.
Spent three years with my guy. He was looking for that perfect girl and in doing so, lost the perfect girl for him. Sometimes stuff like that happens. You gotta realize though, and I know it’s hard, that maybe he’s not the perfect guy for you, PrehensileRectum. If you’re at all like me, you’re probably denying everything people have said in this thread. “It’s different…they don’t know all the details…” etc. It’s your own life and you can do whatever you want. Those of us who have been in simliar situations before (and felt just as seriously as you do now) are just trying to help you avoid things we had to go through.
I wish to Og I’d never dated him in the first place.
You have a prehensile rectum and this guy wants to experience other women? Does he think he can do better?
I laugh.
I don’t know, but this part
also concerns me. This is not healthy on your part. It’s like you found a piece of clothing, and it may not fit, but by God you’re going to wear it, come hell or high water, despite the fact it doesn’t suit you in the least.
You’re acting like it doesn’t matter who the boyfriend is, as long as you have one.
Get thee gone.
If he does marry you, do you want to clean up after an overgrown child? Do you want to always wonder if he’s decided to sample those other women?
I know it’s hard to hear, but this guy sounds like a loser.
If he has some great qualities, maybe you could tell us a little more. As it stands, I don’t understand why you want to stay with him.
You don’t need a boyfriend/husband to be a person. You’ll make a better girlfriend/wife if you know who you are first.
I don’t know if I’m right, but I understood this part (“I’m very selfish and want him all to myself”) as being told jokingly, not seriously. Maybe it needs a clarification.
I took it seriously. If she didn’t mean it seriously, then we do need a clarification.
I wholeheartedly agree with everyone so far, but I’m going to take this one step further to give you an idea of what your future holds with him even if he “wakes up”.
This man needs LOTS of counseling. If he’s that much of a momma’s boy (which by the description of his siblings, that’s pretty certain), he will need to change his entire personality to break those ties. That doesn’t guarantee he ever will.
You’ve heard the stories about horrible mother-in-laws, right? Mamma’s boys have the WORST mothers, IMO. She will always be dictating how you run your house, raise your kids, what you eat, how you decorate, how you dress, etc. Not to mention every argument you get into with her (and there will be many), he will not take your side and stand up to mommy dearest, which spells disaster for a marriage.
When a couple gets married, the whole point is breaking away from their original families and forging a new one, independantly. She will run your lives forever and unless you are comfortable with that, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE OR YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. She will make your life hell and he’ll stand back and let it happen. These kinds of mothers can also turn on you and do some very evil things, like try to take away your kids.
I am not trying to upset you, but you are looking through some very rose-colored glasses right now. This is an unhealthy situation and you know how the saying goes: crazy people make sane people crazy. You will regret it if you let things continue with him the way they are. He needs years of therapy, years. Then he needs to get his own place, pay his own bills, do his own laundry, fix his own meals. Let him sow his oats, he is mentally WAAAAAAY behind and he will resent you down the road. Break off your ties with him and tell him he needs to act like a 30 year old.
A lot of times people look at just the individual and how you feel when you’re together when thinking about marriage. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and if you don’t take into consideration his goals and how he achieves them, his emotional maturity, how his family treats him and vice-versa, his views on raising a family, how the both of you manage your lives (money, careers, faith, general responsibility, etc.) . . . everything needs to be considered. Marriage is very, very difficult and it takes 110% from both sides. Thus far, he isn’t even putting that much effort into your dating relationship.
Please take a strong look at what you want in life. It seems to me that you’re in love with love, not this man. Find someone who is more on your maturity level, he’s far behind you.
I couldn’t agree more. Take it from someone who didn’t run.
Just wanted to throw in an amen to this.
Just because you could wait 5 or so years before getting married doesn’t mean you should waste those 5 years waiting around to see if this guy ever gets his act together. He is setting off warning bells left and right. For the love of god, run far away and don’t get sucked back in or waste any more time on this guy.
Even if you did end up together in the end he will always hold that ‘what if’ over you, do you want that? If he wants to know what else is out there, let him find out. You might know that you two belong together but if he doesn’t know that you are doomed.
I’m curious about the whole living-at-home situation here; why is he really doing it?
People usually do grow up a lot when they move out on their own; maybe the OP could lay down an ultimatum and say he has to get his own place? Living with Mom, of course, is the reason he doesn’t go out to bars or clubs since he doesn’t want to have to give an account of his activities to her. So he doesn’t do it.
I hate to tell people I’ve never met to break up with other people I’ve never met, but I agree with Anastaseon and with Pink Marabou as well. This guy will probably still be living with his mother when he’s 50. If you marry him, his mother will do her best to undermine your marriage at every turn, and he will let her do it, which is about the worst possible thing for you. And a guy who is whining about his lost wild-oat-sowing is not a guy to keep around.
Let him go, and run away.
Listen to us who are older and wiser. I thought I knew everything at 22. I was absolutely confident that my love and sheer determination to be everything to someone who hadn’t had love and a stable family would be enough. I would make it work.
It didn’t.
There’s no rush. See what the world is like, and all the people in it. Then find someone who’s worth settling down with. There are exceptions of course. My advice is don’t saddle yourself with this guy.
– She Who Knows Of Which She Speaks. 
Oh, dear. What happened? Did you ever run?