Ten Worst Bands of All Time: NAME 'EM

In My Humble Opinion
21

Not necessarily bad bands, but bands I hate with a passion nonetheless

  1. The (Fucking) Beatles
  2. Bobby Brown
  3. Bon Jovi
  4. Boys 2 Men
  5. ABBA
  6. Vanilla Ice
  7. The Monkees
  8. Behind the fridge (my mates band…“I paid £5 to see this???”)
  9. N’Suck
  10. BVSMP (remember that crime against humanity?)

I have to stop now because I’m becoming extrememly agitated. I hope I don’t commit murder. Let that guy out of jail so he can finish the rest of the beatles off.

22

This question really makes you think… So many bad bands, how to choose? After careful consideration, my bottom three appear below:

  1. Gowan
  2. Wham
  3. Kenny G.
    Don’t know which I despise more, they all make my stomach churn.
23

Okay, van halen is argueable. Dave and Sammy had their points, but Gary was a waste of time. So I’d say you are only 1/3rd right there.

Def Leppard? Dude… They’re great. Wonderful. Unapolgetically 80’s.

In no certain order.

  1. Boy Bands/Girl Groups and their clones.
  2. Nirvana (I tormented kids when Kurt blew his head off)
  3. All those alternative clones that popped up.
  4. The Beatles.
  5. Nelson. Talk about living up to low expectitations.
  6. Vanilla Ice
  7. Any Cocaine-Dealer turned Rap Star of the month.
  8. Metallica
  9. Lynrd Skynrd/Allman Brothers and all those other godawful “Southern” rock bands. May you all rest in the deepest pit of Hell and rot eternally in the worst way I can figure out.
  10. Frat Bands who think they’re good.
24

In no special order:

  1. Peter Frampton. Nice kazoo solo.
  2. The Offspring.
  3. All of those poodle-clipped “Glam Metal” bands from the late '80s (Warrent, Poison etc. I can’t tell them apart)
  4. KISS from 1984 to 1990.
  5. I’ll probably get deported for this, but I really can’t stand Stevie Wonder.
  6. The Doobie Brothers. These dumbasses couldn’t even pretend to play at the Pro Bowl a few years ago.
  7. Phil Collins. Do people actually listen to this?
  8. The Beach Boys after the death of Carl Wilson. Now it’s just Mike Love and Bruce Johnston with a bunch of session musicians. Sad, because the original line-up would be in my top five.
  9. William Shatner.
  10. Joe Satriani. That got old in about ten minutes.
25

The Offspring??? AHHH! How could you?
Phil Collins? That one suprises me. I don’t think he’s a great, but I never though of him as a “worst”.
William Shatner… LOL!! Sucks with a capital “S”.

26

Gilbert O’Sullivan
John Tesh
Kenny G
Nsync
Backstreet Boys
New Kids on the Block
Menudo
Barbara Sreisand
Kenny Rogers
Nelson

27

  1. The Dave Matthews Band - Not only are there songs amazingly boring, but his singing is like dog shit to my ears. When my friend revealed to me that she has obtained tickets to his show, I replied, “I’m warning you. NEVER SHOW ME THE TICKETS!” He should be killed. That’s all there is to it.

  2. The Gin Blossoms - A distant second, indeed, but still wretched. How anyone could enjoy this band is beyond me.

  3. Oasis - Seems to be a commonly disliked band. I don’t see why not.

  4. Blink 182 - While they are hilarious people and their videos are wonderful, their music sucks royal ass.

And I’m spent.

28

I can’t believe some people actually included the Beatles in a worst bands list. Cretins and Visigoths be ye!

I need to two more to my worst bands, though:

Pearl Jam. Eddie Veder (sp?) sings like his tongue is stuck on the “r” sound.

Steve Miller - The music is okay, but his lyrics are the most sophomoric of all time.

29

Here’s mine (for better or worse, in no particular order):

  1. Glen “arent i totally the shit” Danzig (especially his Misfits stuff)
  2. The Rollins Band - The music is ok, it’s Henry Rollins’ voice i can’t stand. He doen’t scream or sing, he just YELLS. Fucking annoying.
  3. Any boy band (n’suck, 98 disease, backdoor boys, etc)
  4. The Beatles - The most overrated band ever in my opinion
  5. Oasis - Because they THINK they’re the Beatles reincarnate (and they suck, and don’t give me that “they know how to play” shit either, they suck. Though, they aren’t near as low as a boy band, who has no clue how to play any instrument other than each other’s skin flutes though…)
  6. The Rolling Stones - The second most overrated band
  7. Michael Jackson - Trendy crap, music to molest kids by
  8. Nirvana (and anyone in that whole grunge movement) - I too teased all the kiddies about this one’s death. Kids everywhere heard this lame shit and realized if they could play 3 chords (badly) that they too could be a rock star. Ok, ok, so oasis is better than these wankers too… (interesting side note: Guitar world magazine voted this lameo guitarist of the DECADE. Can you imagine?!)
  9. Barry Manilow (cringe) - To quote Denis Leary, “Here’s 10 bucks, bring the head of barry manilow”
  10. Tupac Shakur - I laughed my ass off when i saw this video of his entitled “Thug Immortal” in a video store one day. I laughed at his music. I laughed when he got shot. And i laughed when i saw the autopsy photos. Good riddance.

</rant>

30

I thought that was a good thing. That’s punk rock.

31

I take back the nice things I said about you in the other thread. You are now SO dead. :slight_smile:

32

NO!! Whoever put down the Rolling Stones must die…and the Monkees. (Sorry, those just happen to be two of my fave bands…)

Okay, my picks for worst bands/singers…

  1. Queen (Bohemian Rhapsody physically makes me nauseous.)
  2. Eminem
  3. Prince
  4. William Shatner
  5. The Boy Band Clones
  6. Britney Spears, Christine Whatever the hell her last name is, and the like…
  7. Billy Joel
  8. Dave Matthews Band
  9. Um…just fill in whatever bands you like for the last two. Two lazy to think of anything more complex than a milky way bar at this moment…
33

In no particaular order:

  1. Van Halen
  2. Backstreet Boys
  3. NSYNC
  4. Britney Spears
  5. Baha Men
  6. Notorious B.I.G. and other rappers
  7. Mariah Carey - whine, whine, whine
  8. Celine Dion
  9. Will Smith-anyone who samples a Clash song is pure evil, and the rest of his songs are just plain annoying
  10. Oasis

btw PunditLisa, a really rockin, kick-ass all girl band is Kittie, made up of 4 18/19 yr old girls, and they are almost heavy metal, but her voice is really pretty

Switchblade Symphony was made up of 2 girls, and the lead singer’s voice was one of the most beautiful I had ever heard,

34

OK, anyone that has Metallica, The Offspring or the Stones as worst bands needs to be taken outside and summarily (sp?) shot dead. That said;

  1. any rapper who needs to use pre-recorded music to make a hit. Moreover, any that use music with the basic lyrics of an already hit song. (Puffy should be castrated for that whole Every Breath You Take fiasco)

  2. Striesand. (I was ashamed to claim SD status when I saw how long it took to see her name crop up)

  3. Yanni (OK, he has more talent than I’ll ever have, but I friend who thinks he’s the greatest yet always has a Pink Floyd CD in the car to throw off the guys. P.S. Y-man, get a haircut, you’re like 80)

  4. Shattner (Priceline.com “beat-poet” commercials. Nuff said)

  5. Boy bands (Again, hard to include since I consider a band to be a group that actually plays the music, forms themselves, and tours shit-hole clubs to make a name for themselves, like Gwar had to do ;P)

  6. Phil Tesh (didn’t even like him on TV)

  7. Celine Dion (close enough to Babs but she also happens to be French, making the matter worse)

  8. Dave Mathews Band (hasn’t this guy gotten the gerbil out of his ass? What’s with that cracking, whining voice?)

  9. Mamas and Papas (Other than California Dreamin’ I can’t listen to this shit since I quit doing acid)

  10. Bob Dylan after 1985 (saw him in concert in '91 with Tracy Chapman and the putz didn’t do any of his good stuff.)

I could go on but I’ll wait for more voices. This was kinda spur of the moment.

35

Uh, did you mean John Tesh? If so, you’ve got that one dead right.

36

OK, I couldn’t think of 10, but these bands
make me want to break my radio
The Scorpions - I don’t know why I hate
them so much, but they just drive me
insane any time I hear them.
Dave Mathews
Morrisey
Steve Miller Band
Greatful Dead
None of these other bands even approach how
much I dislike the Scorpions. And now they
are stuck in my head. UGH!

37

I’m surprised no one has mentioned the Violent Femmes or Psychedelic Furs or whatever they were called (ie, “Let me go bwaaaaaan, like a blister in the sun…”) One kid in my carpool had their debut album and insisted on playing it constantly. It seems to me that if the singer is that whiny and off-key, then you, as the consumer, are probably the butt of some joke. In fact, I met people in college who seemed to be fans precisely because of the postmodern, like-it-because-it’s-cool-of-them-to-be-deliberately-bad aspect.

-Ben

38

And how could I forget the worst song of all time?

“It’s the fiiiiinal count-DOWN!”

Since this song came out in the Reagan years, I thought it was about nuclear war, and merely hated it for its inane music and execution. Recently I had the misfortune to hear it again, and could make out a few bits about “They’re living on… VEEE-NUSSSSSS! VEEEE-NUSSSSS!” So now, you see, I get to hate it for its inane lyrics too. Could someone explain to me what this song is actually about, if anything?

-Ben

39

Okay…I’ll make some enemies, but…

  1. L Z
  2. The R S
  3. F M
  4. AC/DC
  5. B S
  6. The D B
  7. D L
  8. G ‘n’ R
  9. Godsmack? (c’mon!)
  10. Anything remotely “Glam” ::shivers with revulsion::
40

ACK!!! Yeah, I meant John Tesh. Got the name mixed up with that Raggae guy named Tosh. Sorry.

Oh yeah, forgot one. Anyone involved with the Bee-Gees. I know Manilow was mentioned earlier, but I just can’t see letting any of them off the hook.