Someone who says offensive things and decides whether or not they are joking based on the reactions of those who respond - Schrödinger’s Asshole.
What do y’all think, and does anyone in particular come to mind?
I honestly can’t think of any examples on these boards. (Though that means I’m the person who does this, right?)
I have experienced this in real life, though. I have met people who said very homophobic or racist things, and when I started to object they insisted they were kidding. In particular, I once started a job, and on the first day someone started to talk about how “the brothers” (his code word for Black people) always “smelled bad”. I casually showed him a picture of my fiancee at the time, who was Black. He quickly assured me he was just kidding, and it was a bad joke. And never said anything racist again.
We got along okay, I mean, I worked with him for months, but I never forgot that. It was disturbing to work with a nice guy who was otherwise a fantastic coworker, but I knew he was a racist.
But no, I can’t think of anyone on the boards here like that. Usually when people are offensive they own it. Not just own it, they double down on it.
Reminds me of a certain disgraced ex-President, but not of any particular SDMB posters offhand.
Sorry for such an early hijack, but I once said stupid things like that, when I was a kid. I just didn’t know any Black people, my father was casually racist, and I didn’t think of Black people as just people. I don’t think I was a bad person, just ignorant. I got over it as I grew up, and maybe your former co-worker will too. (Yes, he should have already been grown up, but it takes longer for some people.)
Maybe, I hope so. I think he was in his 20s as I was.
I mean, I had an ignorant perspective on homosexuality growing up. And I also was insulated from the very existence of trans people, so when I first heard of the whole idea I thought it was a fad or people making it up. Then I got to know trans people and came to understand somewhat the stuff they went through.
I guess to my credit, I was ignorant of things but not willfully ignorant.
Sounds vaguely like the Bailey-and-Motte description.
Say something that has two meanings - a reasonable meaning, and an outrage-provoking meaning. When people take it to be the latter, these posters then pretend they only meant the former.
A Krusty?
I’ve been calling this type “Schrodinger’s Douchebag”. Used it frequently in the last months to refer to my kiddo’s (thankfully) now ex.
Quoting myself from a December MMP:
Daughter is still embroiled in drama with Schrodinger’s Douchebag. It’s like her boyfriend demonstrates quantum super-positioning by simultaneously occupying the role of responsible, nice military pilot for us, and drunken asshole bad-ass around his friends. When observed by either group, the waveform collapses and he immediately occupies whichever role is more suitable at the moment. Or maybe he’s just a typical young male – I dunno. But it’s starting to piss me off.