Or, Moonie Gets a Taste of the Simple Life, and it Tastes Like Sausage.
So, a little under three weeks ago, Chez Moonie was abuzz with activity. It was mid July, and by extension midsummer, and plans were afoot. I had just taken my final exam for my Summer Thermodynamics class, signaling the end of my Summer class commitment and the beginning of that magical time between completion of Summer semester and start of Fall semester wherein I have nothing whatsoever to do. Coincidentally, since we all wanted to get out of the house and find some weather that didn’t suck NSFW Donkey Appendages, and Dad had some mandatory use-it-or-lose-it vacation time, we decided it was vacation time. Specifically, we decided we were going to head to the mountains, and more specifically still, we were heading to the Garett-Patomac State Forest in the Appalachians of Western MD. We’ve been camping out there before, at a place called Snaggy Mountain, a campground which is literally nothing more than a dozen or so campsites spaced a quarter of a mile apart along a dirt road in the middle of the forest. It’s one of our favorite places to go because it’s relatively close and so quiet and peaceful and private, and we were all looking forward mightily to getting away from our busy suburban lives and getting some rest and relaxation.
Now, vacation time at the Moonie household is not just an occurrence, it is an EVENT. Every detail must be planned and accounted for so that nothing can ever possibly go wrong in any way shape or form known to man or God. Preparations began three days in advance, with a trip to the library to pick up books to read at the campsite; I went light this time and made it out of the Fantasy/SciFi section with only about five thousand pages of the likes of George R. R. Martin and Mercedes Lackey for me and LilBro to share. Mom got additional books for herself and for Dad. Grocery shopping had to happen, too, picking up at least a week’s worth of food and drinks and snacks (for a four day trip) and planning meals and packing the cooler and a million other things related to making sure we don’t go hungry. Then we had to pack up all the clothes we’d be taking, gather up sleeping bags and pillows and blankets, collect things like flashlights and plastic utensils and disposable plates/cups and toilet paper and everything else you need for a camping trip. Finally, we had to load everything, as an altogether unfathomable amount of crap got piled into the back of the car and into the camper until there was barely enough room left for the four of us, but we still managed to fit ourselves in and away we went like the Beverly Hillbillies, except instead of piling the family into the car to head from the boonies to civilization, we were heading from civilization to the boonies. Funny how that works, eh? The actual trip was pretty boring; LilBro and I spent the whole four-hour duration listening to music on his iPod using a headphone splitter and a USB car charger, so we wouldn’t have to spend eternity watching cow pastures roll past. We finally arrived at the campsite around late afternoon and got the ancient tent trailer set up in short order, and settled in to do nothing, because that’s what vacation is all about.
Aside: I love our old popup tent camper. We bought it used about 15 years ago and it’s been all over the place with us and has a TON of memories locked away in its particleboard and Formica construction. That said, it’s a piece of crap - the retractable step has rusted through on one side so we can’t use it, the tent portion is full of patched holes, it’s missing the curtains (eaten by mice), its dirty, the lid to the cargo compartment is cracked almost in half, the zipper that holds the awning in place has dry rotted away, the elastic cords that held the tent in place when set up dry rotted away as well, the strap that holds the battery which powers the lights in place has frayed in two, its stained with mildew and dirt, and one of the door latches broke off. Its falling apart, and we need to replace it, but we can’t afford to and we love it too much to just cast it aside anyway.
Anyway, so now we had made it to Snaggy Mountain and set up the camper and we were ready to really start vacationing in the only way we know how: Doing nothing, and eating. Books were brought out and we dug in to some good stories and the Subway sandwiches we’d picked up during the trip.
Monday was our first full day in the mountains, and we decided to continue our proud and noble tradition of doing nothing while on vacation by spending the ENTIRE DAY reading and napping, a process facilitated in no small part by the fact that it rained. A lot. Mountain thunderstorms are so much fun, the thunder echoes off the surrounding hillsides and reverberates seemingly forever. Fortunately the rain didn’t start until the afternoon, though, so even though we all slept in late we were able to get up and fix a delicious breakfast of eggs and sausage. Not just any sausage, either, but a jumbo pack of 24 sausage links, because you can never have too much sausage – a fact which would evolve into a running theme over the next few days. Anyways, the rain let off early enough for us to build a campfire and enjoy it for a few hours before it was time to go to bed, in case the two or three naps I took during the day weren’t enough.
Tuesday was a wee bit more interesting. Once again we all slept in late and then breakfasted, and by the crack of noon we were ready to face the day. Then we drove to nearby Deep Creek Lake, and rented a speedboat! We were cruising along all over the lake oogling the expensive waterfront mansions and having a ton of fun, until the smoke detector started screaming at us and we had to call the rental place on Dad’s cellphone and they sent another boat out for us so we got to make a mid-lake boat-to-boat transfer. But the new boat was more fun anyway and they gave us a free extended rental for the trouble so it all worked out in the end. After that it was back to the campsite for more napping and reading and eating, in this case a dinner made from rice, mozzarella cheese, sautéed vegetables, and another huge pack of sausages – at least two pounds. Remember, you can never have too much sausage. After that it was time to toast s’mores over the campire we built, and then bedtime!
Wednesday started off pretty predictably. We slept in, got up, and ate a so-called “Mountain Man Breakfast” which consists of layers of fried eggs, hash browns, cheese, and (you guessed it!) two pounds of crumbled sausage. By the crack of 1:00PM, we were off for more adventures, in this case a hike down a couple short trails at Muddy Creek Falls through the old Hemlock forests. I have always loved it there – the constant roar of water as two rivers crash over waterfalls and come together accompanies you while you walk through stands of 300-year-olf Hemlocks and Oaks on trails that are springy with dirt made from centuries of accumulated, decomposed pine needles. It’s wonderful. We also stopped by the nearby Swallow Falls Campground and used the showers in the bath houses there to get clean because we were all pretty gross and stinky by now. After that, feeling much more human, we headed to the nearby town of Oakland to eat dinner in a local mom-and-pop restaurant; the food was delicious and the portion sizes perfect. Then, for the final time, it was back to the campsite to crash by the campfire until bedtime.
And at last, Thursday. Nothing much to speak of here – we got up, cleaned up, ate up, packed up, drove home, and reversed the packing process. That’s really all there was to it, although afterwards I took a shower in a “real” bathroom and it was wonderful.
So yeah, that’s about it. A great trip, mostly consisting of laying around the campsite reading or napping, gathering firewood for Dad to chop up with the chainsaw, lounging by the ensuing campfires, and eating sausage, interspersed with fun activities, all set in the mountains where the weather was cool and not humid. It was great, but at the same time it was really nice to be back home where there’s clean showers and a refrigerator full of food and all my friends and an internet connection. It’s nice to get away – but it’s often almost as nice to get back home!