“If Lovin’ You Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right.” Also a candidate for the biggest dick song, even if it is sung by a woman.
The Pina Colada Song? “We Built This City”? Now for really awful chart toppers you have to go to the UK
Cinderella Rockafella, Esther and Abi Ofarim
Shaddup Your Face, Joe Dolce
And for the absolute bottom of the barrel, Mr. Blobby. Words fail me.
How did I forget this gem? Star Trekkin, the Firm.
Ah, come on. That’s a novelty song. It’s meant to be cheesy.
That’s What Friends Are For. I worked in a building in the mid-80s that could only get AM Radio, and *this * piece of schmaltz was on heavy rotation. It got to where I could barely keep from screaming when the opening bars came on. :mad:
I was going to say that was never a hit, but apparently it was in the UK.
“Music Is The Doctor”, the Doobie Brothers
“Kokomo”, the Beach Boys
“Macarena” by whoever did it
“Mr. Roboto”, Styx (FWIW, that song killed their career)
“Hold On”, Wilson Phillips (WHY is this still on heavy rotation more than 25 years later?!?!?!?)
I’ll think of some others.
Passé. 
Here’s another.
“When I’m With You” by Sheriff. In the mid 1980s, I worked at a restaurant where the cooks always had the album rock station on, and I would hear that miserable dreck every Saturday morning. A couple years later, I started hearing it on the Top 40 station, and called them to inquire. 
What happened was a DJ put it on in some big market, as filler I guess, and the switchboard lit up with people going, “Whoa, what was that? This song is GREAT!” :smack: and not long afterwards, it hit #1. The album it was from also climbed the charts, and more than one reviewer said that “When I’m With You” was the only good song on it, and the rest sounded like “warmed-over Boston.”
I’d also nominate “99 Luftballons” in every version except the original German, and Pearl Jam’s “Last Kiss”.
In the spring of 1994, I did rotations on an Indian reservation, and they had a community radio station with a totally free-form format, and anyone who wanted to be on that station could be. There were some kids who would come in after school and play requests, and the #1 request was that song by the Chipmunks.
One of the other pharmacists, a middle-aged woman who was a devout Christian, said, “What the hell is this crap?” 
I love that song. The vocals are quite nice the song is easy to listen too, quite relaxing.
My nominee is MacArthur Park. sung by Richard Harris. I loathe that song. “Someone left the cake out in the rain”???
If you can gut the video out to the very end, she’s actually sing “Maya, Maya.”
I think it’s a sweet song
Well, it was very different. I kinda like it, but yeah, there were many better songs, as you point out.
How about the mother of all bad songs: Madonna’s remake of “American Pie”? :mad: I heard that radio stations were bombarded with requests to NOT play it.
I’ll nominate MacArthur Park. I’m surprised it hasn’t been mentioned yet.
Have any of you guys ever heard of it?
Copa, Copacabana
His name was Rico
He wore a diamond
He was escorted to his chair, he saw Lola dancing there
And when she finished, he called her over
But Rico went a bit to far
Tony sailed across the bar
And then the punches flew and chairs were smashed in two
Played 3,174 times a week on our local radio stations.
Stevie Wonder’s “I just called to say I love yoooo.” Gak!
This goes into (IMHO) a new category: “Songs that arent all that bad until you are forced to listen to them time after time…”
Since we’ve had our obligatory Manilow reference, how about “I Write The Songs”?
Come on. If you want to hate a Kenny Rogers song, this is the one to go with.
Yeah, the lyrics are shit, but I think of it as a kind of vocal showcase, and I do like her vocals. Simon Cowell complained when Carrie Underwood chose it (During disco week, I think), but she killed it. I just turn off my lyrics recognition and listen to the sounds.
I do not disagree with the general assessment of the lyrics, however. I just ignore them. Not that I’m a ‘disco’ kind of guy, but cool vocals are cool vocals.
I have no comment on the Richard Harris version. I’m just kinda speechless there.
I haven’t read the entire thread, but I see that “We Built this City” is well-represented as the epitome of the thread title. I’ll throw out my personal White Whale. From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee; For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at the song that is, “Break My Stride” by Matthew Wilder. Cthulhu-level insanity-causing shitty 80’s keyboard part, and the first lines of the song:
'Nuff said, I would hope.
EDIT: Nope, guess it’s not enough after all. That 'stache wears HIM. “It’s-a-ME, MARIO!”
This thread is cracking my shit up! I feel many of these songs are before my time, though.
I could tell you how I feel about Taylor Swift’s new song “Look What You Made Me Do,” but I’d probably be breaking some decency law.