There are times when my “working hours” (i.e. on call and have to respond at a moment’s notice) are 24 hours a day for three or four weeks at a stretch, even though I’m only in the office for 9-10 hours a day. Of course, if I was expecting to be on call, I’d explain myself beforehand, and if I had to respond to a message rather than defer it until after a date, I’d explain that as well.
If a woman were just texting friends during a date, I’d just assume that she isn’t actually interested in talking to me and end the date as soon as possible.
I’m not sure whether texting on a first date is in accordance with Jewish religious practices.
But as a dater, it can be either acceptable or not depending on who you are dating, what is currently happening in their life and what you are looking for in a date. It takes all kinds.
Shouldn’t such an international tycoon have minions to take care of those details? Why did he schedule a first date while such a big deal was going down? (Now I’m picturing a truck just in from down south, loaded with bales.)
Or maybe he’s not a big shot, but one of the minions. Who wants to date a minion?
Well, I’m a tax lawyer. I’m a couple oif peopke removed from the action. People closer to the actio often need my quick input on a deal point, especially when closing is imminent.
Texting on a first, tenth or ten-thousandth date is not acceptable, period. If you’re on a date, turn the goddam cell phone off and pay attention to your partner. There’s nothing so important on that cell that requires you to answer it at that point in time.
And whatever date number it was, if my partner started texting during it, it would be the last.
Very, very rude. I’ve been married 13 years, and if I HAD to text (well, email. I don’t text) while having a casual lunch out with my Wife, I would explain myself. And it would be important.
It would be a dealbreaker for me too. Actually, all I needed to do was plagiarize your post.
Nope, sorry. Doesn’t cut it. If you need to be at work, then you shouldn’t be out on a date. Set up a date when you are actually available to be on a date.
It would not be ok unless they were a doctor on call. I really can’t think of any other exceptions. Having kids would have been a dealbreaker for me anyway so that as an excuse is out.
Only okay if there was an emergency at work (like a doctor) or had a near-death loved one. Otherwise, not a thing I’d think was acceptable on any date.
Aside from being just plain rude, I would be thinking she was narrating the date to her friend(s), which would make me very uncomfortable. (OMG, he jst made this wrd slurping noise w/ his soup!! Wt a drk!!!)
No second date.
Then again, I’ve been out of the dating pool for almost two decades. Texting is like breathing for a lot of teenagers I know; they probably don’t give it a second thought.
This just doesn’t make sense.
You’re saying that even though you are “a couple of people removed from the action” your quick input is needed immediately for a large deal to close? Or that the people closer to the action cannot make educated decisions without first receiving a text confirmation from you? What kind of law firm operates like this? Remind me not to hire them. Besides what urgent tax deal closes at 8 pm on a Saturday night?
If you were that important to the deal, why would you go out on a date at that particular time? I mean, she would understand if you rescheduled because of a big deal at work but conducting business while on a date, is plain rude.
I don’t even like that my brother answers calls while we’re together…and proceeds to talk on them, for several minutes at a time, expecting me to wait.
Completely unacceptable, whether it’s texting or emailing. And I say this as someone who thinks nothing of her husband getting calls from work during holiday dinners, movies, parties, home improvement projects, vacations, and sex. The reason I’m okay with the one and not with the other is this: most of those calls happen when he is, well, on-call, and the rest are mistakes where he very politely tells the caller to fuck off, call whoever is actually on call, and stop intruding on his/our personal time. It’s almost like he, you know, gives a shit that we have time where we can focus on one another without constant interruptions. You’d think I was important to him or something.
And that’s what I’d think if someone were texting/emailing/taking calls all the time during a date–that I’m not important enough for you to find a friggin’ 2-hour window somewhere in your schedule where we can focus on one another without constant interruptions. And frankly, fuck that noise. I’d rather sit at home eating popcorn and watching cartoons in my underpants with the dogs than out with someone who can’t make me even a mild priority for even a tiny amount of time.
I would care but that’s the reason I am going to die all alone
I have been on first date after first date where people have spent half the evening texting or taking phone calls or otherwise ignoring me.
A couple times after about 30 minutes of this I just ended the date there and then.
To me a first date is when you want to put your best foot forward. If a peson is ignoring you on the first date, it ain’t gonna get any better from that point on.
But that said, it is more and more the norm, so I am willing to admit I might be off here.
I can tell you the last five interviews for jobs, I 've been on the person interviewing me has taken cell phone calls and texted as they were talking to me.
I don’t know if it’s just me. I didn’t get the job so perhaps they don’t do that if they intend on giving someone the job or if it’s they figured, “he ain’t getting the job,” so they don’t care.
It’s a different level of politeness in today’s world.
If I did that on a first date, and were so open about it, I would not expect a second one. Same if some girl I went out with on a first date was constantly texting. I can understand if there is an extenuating circumstance and a very sincere apology, but I would hope people would have more tact than that on a first date. If I/she is ignoring her/me like that on a first date, what the hell do I have to look forward to?
At the very least, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and surreptitiously text from there if you must.
