Thanks so much for the porn

[schief2]

These people are the reason every emergency room has a diamond-tipped drill. For tapping a hole through the thick bottoms of champagne and soda bottles. To relieve the suction.

These are the people who come waddling in from the night, saying they tripped and fell on the zucchini, the lightbulb, the Barbie doll, the billiard balls, the struggling gerbil.

See also: The pool cue.

See also: The teddy bear hamster.

They slipped in the shower and fell, bull’s-eye, on a greased shampoo bottle. They’re always being attacked by a person or persons unknown and assaulted with candles, with baseballs, with hard-boiled eggs, flashlights, and screwdrivers that now need removing.

–Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

[Miller]

Great rant. Laughed my as…er, head off. Can I make one constructivly critical observation? In this line:

“Or perhaps you were expecting to get paid by the Coca Cola Company for your fine product endorsement?”

I think “product placement” would have been much funnier.

Also, the sphincter is much more elastic than you think, or, indeed, would ever want to know.