That was a very UNCOOL thing to do to my kid, kid.

The BBQ Pit
1

Cut long story short: a girl-friend (not girlfriend) of my 18 year old son managed to get herself pregnant a few weeks ago. She came to visit whingeing of nausea and heartburn, so at my suggestion, visited a Dr. (with my son along for moral support) for the obligatory wee-sample, which was expectedly positive.

So, my first reaction was “Hey kid, you’ve got to tell your mum and dad. They will be able to help you through this, whatever decision you decide to make”. Her folks are decent people and pretty cool, something like a teenage pregnancy would NOT have fazed them, so I didn’t expect this to be a problem at all. But she refused to tell them…

Cut to two days ago, and girl-friend, who had decided to have a termination, had to go for a pre-surgical consultation with the Dr. My son again accompanied her, because girl-friend’s boyfriend (the daddy in this saga) didn’t want to be there. By this stage, I am feeling awfully proud of my kid for being so supportive to his friend, and seeing a compassionate side of him that doesn’t often get revealed to me, his mum!!

Girl-friend rocked up here this morning on her way to the hospital for the termination. None of us could accompany her as we all had work committments that could not be gotten out of, so she finally got the boyfriend-daddy to pick her up after the surgery. Cool…he’s finally involved, and that is a Good Thing

However, I just found out from my darling son that the reason she had come here this morning was that HE had offered to help her pay for the operation IF SHE WAS UNABLE TO COME UP WITH THE FUNDS IN ANY OTHER WAY, which the g-f had not even bothered to try getting from alternative sources. So my poor kid ended up coughing up the cash for her procedure, and I AM NOT DAMNWELL HAPPY ABOUT IT.

Why didn’t her boyfriend (the father in this pregnancy) get himself some access to some cash?

Why didn’t she tell her folks and let THEM be supportive while she went through this saga?

Why the hell did she just KNOW that Jimbo would help her out? Because he is a good friend and a sucker. And he gave her his whole weeks wages just so that she would be able to get out of trouble.

So, girl-friend, here’s the ultimatum: either you pay back Jimbo every single cent within a week, or I will be calling your mum and dad to inform them what has gone down. I really used to like you a lot, but now I see that you are just a manipulative little scroat who wanted to avoid some discomfort by abusing the friendship that had been offered to you by my kid.

Oh, and now that you’re not pregnant anymore…'bout time you got off your arse and got a job eh?

2

At the very least, you know that YOU have a damn fine son.

3

Yeah leander, I’m feeling proud, but also sad for him that HE feels he has been taken advantage of in this situation too. It’s not just me that’s pissed-off.

But these are lessons we all need to learn sometime I guess.

4

You know something Kambuckta? I reckon you should stay quiet for now, and here’s my thinking on the matter…

Let your son work out a nice discreet and equitable way for the young woman to pay him back. Lend him some cash flow yourself if he’s in a bit of a bind. Something like this is really, REALLY distressing to a young woman, and it’s certainly not like she has experience with such life emergencies. Let the dust settle as best as it can for now… however… keep the saga as an Ace up your sleeve. Save it for 6, maybe 9, maybe 12 months from now. Keep an eye on the young woman and watch her emotional evolvment over the next 6 months. If she continues to make really epic “dumb life choices”, at some point you can THEN spill the beans on the whole story to both the young woman’s parents and also the father’s parents. If you let the matter slide during this time, it’ll have much, MUCH more impact in the future that it will now because at the moment everything is still all mixed up to the max - and you never know, maybe the young woman totally couldn’t figure out another way to keep everything discreet.

We’ve all been stung down through the years. Lord knows, even at 40 years of age earlier this year I paid $600 for 6 tickets to the Big Day Out on behalf of myself and 5 other guys who I thought were mates. Of the 5, only 1 of 'em ever paid me back for the tickets. Thankfully, I’m old enough and wealthy enough these days that $400 isn’t gonna break the bank, but I also looked upon the whole ordeal as a way of finding out who my true mates were, if you know what I mean.

5

It is a shame how good-hearted people like your soon are been taken advanteg by “so-called” friends all the time. Anyway I hope that won´t be making him more bitter, it would be a waste to lose another kind person.
By the way, congratulations, seems you raised a very nice young man.

6

I don’t think dropping this on her parents 6 months from now is a good idea. I would tell them, and I would tell them today.

7

I’d go with Boo Boo Foo’s advice about shutting up.

There’s very likely something here that the kid’s not telling you.

8

I helped out a friend in a similar situation when we were in high school- I do want to say that I think telling her parents would be a huge mistake and your son should see about getting his money back himself. I understand you’re upset, but the situation is his and he should handle it the best he can. IMHO.

9

IMHO Wait, if needed, revenge is a dish best served cold. Your son is a good man.

10

Revenge?

What the fuck are you going to blackmail her down the road?

All I got to say is the person that would withhold this type of information from me would be the man with the broken jaw.

11

your son is kind.

Rejoice in that.

Let the girl’s own bad heart punish her.

12

Dickhead. You gonna break a woman’s jaw coz she didn’t tell you that your daughter was a conniving bitch? Jesus H.

13

I’m a little confused (only in some of the responses); so we have someone in need, and another someone that helps out the first one. Sounds like a friendship to me…

I agree with Boo, There may be a myriad of reasons this girl could not/did not go another route in this. It seems she trusted your son in a BIG way though and that says much for him (and you).

She is probably an emotional mess regardless of her outward appearance. All of this talk of retribution seems a bit extreme and unnessesary. I have always felt that if you are going to help someone when they really need you, do so (and feel good about it), but if you’re going to keep the receipt…?

14

Damn fine son? Your son is kind? Good-Hearted?

What the fuck is up with that?

You guys went behind HER parents back to do all this. If someone interferred in my child’s life I’d be hella pissed off and you’d really be damn well unhappy.

Your involvement at the most should have consisted of contacting her parents as soon as you suspected anything - not running around behind their back only to tell them when everything is done. Whether you believe or not, their are alot of people who would find this the ultimate sin that could very easily break the family up. How would you feel if she ended up out on the street because of your “help”.

15

Whoa Tman, let’s cool down a bit :cool:

I don’t think anyone believes that NOT telling the parents is the best was to handle this, however, we also do not know the whole story there.

I think the ‘fine son’ sentiment is in regard to the fact he was considered such a trustworthy friend to be approached in the first place.

16

Good god… congregation of the cavepeople or what?

  1. She didn’t “ger herself pregnant”, I didn’t know that anyone but Irish catholic nuns used that phrase any more.

  2. Your son is 18, what he chooses to do with his money is really up to him isn’t it?

  3. Conniving bitch? Threats of violence? Saving up this juicy little tidbit, oh no, wait, I mean personal tradgedy, to fuck her with down the line? Jesus H christ…

kambukta, I can totally understand you being worried that your son is being taken advantage of, but god, some of the rest of you, I had to check I was at the right boards.

17

When you go around busting people’s jaws (or whatever) for telling you things or not telling you things, then people tend to take the safe route and not tell you things.

18

Pull yer head in mate! If Kambuckta follows my advice, no trouble AT ALL will take place right now. In 6 or 9 months from now, everything will be an awful lot calmer and if she wishes to mention it then, it’ll be a decision she’ll make with a very cool head - which probably isn’t the case for all parties concerned right now.

Please, spare me the righteous pontification and actually offer some advice yourself if you’re so sure of yourself.

19

Now come on, maybe she is a hermaphrodite, or robbed a sperm bank at gunpoint.

However, I do suspect that the kid paying for the abortion just wants to pork her, but I’m probably wrong and way too cynical.

But, back to the rant. Your kid just lost a lot of money which he will never, ever see a cent of. but, he’ll still learn a valuable lesson, which I learned much too late and too expensively… Loser friends are not friends, they are losers. They are narcissistic assholes who will bend you over and not care a whit.

Your son’s “friend” probably taught him a cheap lesson that will serve him throughout life. Don’t call the whore’s mom, let the kid learn his lesson and it’ll be better than any education from an accredicted university.

20

Hey dickwad, the kid’s 18. Everything you’ve said is applicable in a Neanderthal way if she was 16, but she’s 18, she’s an adult, she has to make her own decisions, the parents aren’t “owed” anything.