Many moons ago on this very forum I started a thread entitled “The Rat’s Ass Chronicles”, describing annoyingly inconsequential events about which I did not give a rat’s ass, but which still garnered feverish interest from the media and the dingbat public.
The time has come for a followup.
So far in 2020 the #1 Rat’s Ass non-event is the decision by a couple of useless U.K. royals to give up their equally useless Official Duties in order to live off their royally inflated incomes abroad. Incredibly, some people care.
The same week this story emerged, it was revealed that Kim Kardashian’s refrigerator was nearly empty. Somehow I managed not to click on related links for that either.
A new major source of angst is that the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame failed to induct the Dave Mathews Band. The reputed legions of DMB fans who’ve failed to notice that Mathews’ singing is annoying and the groups’ output is well south of mediocre are highly upset over this snub.
I can’t see what earthly difference it makes who the Hall chooses to honor for their supposed rock n’ roll achievements*. Will you enjoy your favorite performers less if they are not “enshrined”?
Fucking relax already.**
Feel free to cite your own Rat’s Ass choices for 2020 or if you don’t give a rat’s ass about the thread to ignore it entirely.
*Whitney Houston is now a rock n’ roll legend? C’mon.
**this marks the first occasion on which I have used the"F" word on this board. Fuckin’ A.
I do not care which bimbo of the day has posted a new bikini selfie on Instagram, but Yahoo “News” insists on breathlessly posting a headline on this topic near the top of their page, which I have to endure every time I want to login to my email account (and yes, I know I should dump Yahoo Mail, but I’ve had the account for yonks).
Pretty much all the sportsball entertainment “news”. The dingbat public is endlessly engrossed by the manufactured controversies over the question of which team will place the sportsball in a point-scoring configuration the greatest number of times, but from a rational perspective, there is scarcely anything in the world that matters less.
Pretty much anything that happens with any entertainment celebrity’s self-promotion activities or love life, assuming the two can be meaningfully distinguished. If they’ve committed crimes, throw 'em in jail, but other than that, I don’t care.
(Like all of these Rat’s Ass issues, I have no problem with somebody taking a personal interest in what’s happening with either of the above. It’s the media’s constantly harping on them as something that genuinely deserves general interest that’s ridiculous.)
I respectfully (this being the Pit notwithstanding) beg to disagree. We know fully well, of course, what the verdict of the so-called “jurors” will be. But the Democrats’ best strategy now will be to use this so-called “trial” as a vehicle to trash the Republicans as much as they possibly can, with an eye toward the 2020 election. They are certainly accumulating a lot of ammunition with with to do this, and this is clearly what they intend. This itself is important.
I’m not sure that I’ll watch much of it live, but it does seem worth following and paying attention to.
Any headline or link that includes the phrase “broke the Internet” or “and Twitter lost its mind” invariably describes an event, action or statement about which I shall give not even a rat’s-ass-sized shit.
The U.K. royals is all over the news, and I couldn’t give less fucks about them. I have no idea who they even are. Kate… something? Who is she? Don’t bother explaining… I don’t care.
I concur. I often say that it is no coincidence that Marx’s adage about religion being the opiate of the masses predated the advent of televised sport.
I’ve noticed lately that the weather has become a big thing on the network evening news. Don’t give a rat’s ass. The local news can tell me what’s happening in my area, and if I want to know what’s going on nationwide, I’ll turn on the weather channel. With so much corruption in the Trump administration to be reported on, why the fuck is Al Roker taking up five minutes of valuable air time every night?
And speaking of Trump, who gives a rat’s ass what he thinks about anything? Stop reporting every tweet and every appearance in front of the cameras unless he has something substantial and thoughtful to say. (I guess if that were the case, we’d never see or hear from him!)
Understandable, since the outcome is pre-ordained. There might be slight entertainment value.
My rat’s ass list includes FISA malfeasance, people pooping on the streets of San Francisco and cops who find nasty messages (real or fake) on their takeout coffee cups.
Any celebrity tweet that “throws shade.”
Any celebrity pic that’s partly titled “and the Internet is freaking out!” No. Ten or twenty OMGs does not the internet make.
Any body language expert testimony. Here’s my middle finger. How much did you get paid to guess the meaning?
Who wore what at some awards ceremony that nobody watches.
The Kardashians, the Markles, D&D alignments of teen show characters.
When it’s a slow sportsball day from which to manufacture controversies over, play-wise, they’ll go further down the rabbit hole of bullshit sportsball minutia and dredge up all manner of off-field scandals/controversies/politics in a desperate attempt to make the absurdly irrelevant, less irrelevant.
If they do this well enough, said dingbat public will begin talking about this enough, in synchronicity, to the point that now the sportsball-media industrial complex can now report on that controversy. Priming the pump, lest the pump destroy itself via cavitation.
My brother-in-law had a flight cancelled due to snow, so he immediately rented a car and drove ten hours to a conference. I applauded his quick thinking and commented “Hope you had podcasts or a good audiobook to listen to!” (I mean, I would’ve loved the solitude, alone with a good book)…
