The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

This is a long list, but I found it entertaining. I’m suspicious that he really did all this.

  1. Oh my.

You know, I almost did that with a stuffed rabbit once. Was going to leave it, along with some sparklers in front of the door of a friend of mine who had “issues” with rabbits. Now, I really can’t think of why I didn’t do that.

In a very-overtired-state-of-mind right now, I can picture Bill Murray instigating most of these, (yeah, #97 is obvious).
(And re: #116 - popsicle sticks. :eek: )

#58: The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

#67: I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot.

And then there’s 204 as well … this dude has some crucifixion issues.

I’m afraid that # 87 applies to me. Especially when it involves admin powers.

Y’all just don’t know how TEMPTED I am at times…

#22 is just common sense, dammit …

:smiley: This was hilarious, thanks for sharing.

Well – that was fun to read, but I’ll bet that guy was really a LOT of fun to have working for you.

I have to admit it was definitely worth the read.


If they made it into a sitcom, I’d watch it.

My question is, with rules like these, why join?

So, if it’s not an officer, it’s kosher?

Well, hell.

How about “I have only read about this- didn’t think it would ever happen to me…”?


What? Hey now!

Well, I guess that explains the Calvin-Ball banning …

I’ve done #199 on this message board.

Man, the Army takes the fun out of everything.

(This site was why I was asking what a cadence was in GQ a few weeks ago).

I love this site. My friends and I are using it for fan fiction plots.

What does PT stand for? Some kind of recreation thing?

And what is a “formation?”
I want to find this guy and bear his children. A friend of mine pointed out that, had his e-mail been available, he’d be getting more fan mail than Viggo.

PT = Physical Training, ie a whole buncha calisthenics

Formation, as in “standing in” = Well, have you ever seen a movie about the military and noticed a bunch of guys in uniform standing in neat little rows? That’s a formation. Used for roll call, announcement, awards, general morning ass-chewing, etc.

Had me laughing until I couldn’t see straight, then I read:


This one is so “army”.

  1. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don’t have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.

Reading all these reminds me of my brother. If I didn’t know better I would swear this is his list.