I find this disgusting. A foreclosure or bankruptcy shouldn’t prevent someone from getting a job. How can someone get back on their feet after misfortune?
Anyway Bosda, I wish you and your brother the best.
There’s always a choice. You’re not required to take your brother in.
StG
Last option.
Only if he just can’t shape up.
It isn’t he bank’s job to get you back on your feet. It is the bank’s job to make money.
What’s your criteria for “shaping up,” and how much time does he have to meet it?
You do understand that if you take him in, you’re going to be putting up with his abuse as well as all the other issues in person and 24/7, and that you still won’t be able to help him become a better, more employable person, right?
I’m so sorry. I know how hard this must be. The sad truth is he needs a lot more help than you could possibly give and that you can’t convince him to get that help. Taking him in would only delay the inevitable, and at a horrible price.
Was gonna post almost word for word what you said.
Shouldn’t he have to “shape up” before he would move in with you?
I wasn’t blaming the bank. I happen to think it’s disgusting for a prospective employer to hold someone’s credit record against a job applicant.
Even if the job entails handling money?
What the… not even you would say “Don’t hire someone who’s having housing problems because they’ll steal from you!”
Or would you?
I’m sorry for you and your brother. I hope for peace for you.
Good luck
It’s turning into a hijack in this thread, so I’ll drop it.
Good luck, whatever you do, Bosda.
Maybe consider having a layer draw up a document where OP’s brother is a month-to-month tenant with very specific wording covering how/why the lease can be terminated.
That’s a good idea. IANAL, but eviction would likely still be a long and messy process, as even a short-term lease with specific clauses about eviction would still require notice and, if the brother finds a pro bono lawyer, could still mean months of hassle. Still, an excellent suggestion if the OP is determined to offer a home to his troubled and troublesome brother.
Every job I’ve had for the past ~10 years or so has pulled a credit check on me, even though I never handle or manage company funds.
It really bothers me. I tried to make a point of it saying "look, this isn’t a financial position you’re hiring for. Maybe it will become one in several years, but by then today’s credit report will be out of date. So how about you just don’t demand personal information you don’t need, until you actually do need it?
Predictably the HR drones replied that if I want the job then I have to agree to a credit report. It’s been that way since at least 2009, there’s no recourse that I know of.
Tommy has been physically violent with my late brother Andy, & me, in our adult lives.
He is a Rage-aholic, constantly lashing out verbally at others.
He has threatened, in the past, while under stress, to torture me to death. Really.
He constantly carries a gun with him. Reason unknown.
He may have beaten his ex-girlfriend.
I can’t do this.
Your brother is dangerous–to you, to himself, to others. You not only can’t do this (take him in), you shouldn’t even consider doing it. In fact, now that you’ve revealed this, I’m wondering why you thought you should take him in under any circumstances.
Is it possible your sister, whom you described as not “giving a damn,” is actually trying to keep a safe distance between herself and him? You should follow suit. I’m a big believer in family, but not in this case. Keep your distance. Sever ties. Hope you don’t read about him shooting a bunch of people at a mall.
Then don’t. Your brother is a grownup and can handle his own affairs. It sounds like your sister has the right idea here.
And you think him moving in with you won’t end badly? You are not your brother’s keeper.
Honestly. He’s a grown man and this has been going on for a long time. If he didn’t take advantage of the help you offered him and that he should have been able to get from somewhere in FL that’s his problem, not yours. A violent rage-a-holic with a gun is the LAST thing you need in your home! You can’t risk your safety because of someone else’s mistakes!
Saying no, you can’t take him in might be the hardest thing you ever do. But it will be a billion times worse if you let him move in and then find you can’t get rid of him because it turns into a tenant’s rights case!