The Britster Gets Nekkid

In Harper’s Bazaar.

So, I’m thinking that we need to start the “When Will Britney Do Porn?” pool. Any takers?

Britney Spears is worth 200 million dollars.

She may be country, tasteless, and tacky, but I highly doubt she’ll ever do porn. And don’t forget, Demi Moore did the exact same thing twice in the 90’s.

And yet, if you caught her interview, you know that she is not Bible Belt, either.

Oh, I thought this was a thread about naked Englishmen.

What a dissappointment.

She hasn’t had a hit in years, despite her comments that current pop music is “bland” and that she’ll have a new album out soon, it’s unlikely that she will, and even if she does, it’s even more unlikely that it’ll be a hit. Kfed is supposedly blowing Britster’s money pretty quickly, and Whacko Jacko certainly went through a larger fortune fairly quickly when his hits stopped coming.

Demi Moore also has talent, which is more than you can say for the Britster (Britster’s natural singing voice isn’t that great, and has to be heavily massaged by electronic means on each track), also Demi’s career wasn’t really stalled when she did the covers of Harper’s.

I’ve seen some of the alleged VF pictures are the Internet, and if those pictures are supposed to be of Britney Spears, then I’m … well, I don’t know what, because it’s very early in the morning, but I’m something. The VF pictures are clearly airbrushed to within an inch of their lives, and you can’t hardly tell that’s Brit-Brit, except for the vague aura of Cheeto residue that seems to be floating around her.

Oh, and her colorist needs to be shot – not because of the whole dying-while-pregnant business, but because that is just a really bad color. Damn. I know K-Fed’s spending her money like it’s going out of style, but can’t she still afford a $10 bottle of Loving Care?

Well I think she looks beautiful. I always though pregnant women looks beautiful. It puzzles me a bit she decided to color her hair black. Perhaps as a reference to the Demi Moore picture some years back. It also puzzles me a bit, the venom and hatred she is often met with here on SDMB (wasn’t there a whole thread dedicated to why she was a cheap white trash bitch whore). It’s not like less that artistic genius shooting pop stars are anything new or uncommon.

I think normal pregnant women are beautiful, but Britney not so much – for starters, because she doesn’t seem to take care of herself, like, at all (i.e., she has been photographed during both pregnancies smoking and drinking). That concerns me whenever I see anyone doing it, famous or not.

She annoys me, but schadenfreude is my favorite emotion, so I also find Britney amusing. (I am working a being a nicer person, though.) My big issue with Britney is that she claims she wants her privacy, and then she sells her home movies and turns them into a (terrible) reality show.

It probably occurred to Britney that if she waits much longer before getting naked, nobody’s going to care anymore.

Well I guess I think Britney is also a normal woman (what little I know of her). In what way do you consider her abnormal? Is it because she’s rich or is it because she’s not perfect? Alas! Imperfection is just all to normal. Also I think it’s important that we don’t make pregnancy into something that must be a big all-consuming sacrifice for women, or hold them to inhumanly high standards or judge them on the smallest slips. So she has a few smokes and a few beers. I don’t think that’s gonna do much harm to anybody. As long as it’s not two packs a day and three day long drinking binges, I think everybody should be Ok. My wife smoked a bit through her pregnancies, and drank moderately some times. And my mother assures me she had two packs of cigs a day while pregnant with me.
This is the picture I’ve seen of her. Can’t say how anybody wouldn’t think she’s beautiful. Even though it’s undoubtedly heavily photoshopped. At least she doesn’t look like some ugly skinny starving stickfigure like models often do.

I also thought the statue of her giving birth was great.

Wow, she looks like Katie Holmes in that picture. Not that Katie Holmes-Cruise does it for me these days.

I will brave ridicule and state for the record that I did actually think Britney was hot in that Toxic video.


She had a Caesarean, so that statue is no more of her giving birth than Lady Liberty is a statue of me in drag with a fabulous tiara.

So what? It’s still her, as the artist imagine it would have looked. And if I make a statue of Madonna on the moon, it’s still madonna even though she’s hasn’t been on the moon (yet). Wasn’t the Britney statue made without her posing (or even consenting)?

I think the dark hair looks good. Its a change; who isn’t tired of the dye your hair blonde to get noticed trend?
Ashlee Simpson looked good brunette too.
Its a change from Hollywood blonde and looks less trashy.
By the way, its only recommended you not dye your hair in early pregnancy.

I saw some pics of Jessica Simpson as a redhead somewhere recently… She’s hot.

Some people need to remember that talent doesn’t always fame, and vice versa. I know some incredibly talented people that aren’t famous. And I see some very famous people that I don’t consider very talented. Trek still beats Wars any day.

So I left out a few words …

…This isn’t really that interesting as far as “nudity” goes. Whoopdedoo. Unless I see nips and bush its not nudity and is nowhere NEAR porn. What actress hasn’t done a photoshoot like this?

Darlene Cates?

That would be on the cover of Maxim.

Indeed. Even my girlfriend thought so when she saw the magazine.

How long did it take Debbie Gibson to do Playboy again?

If you’re going to do a pregnant nude, wait until you’re really really pregnant, otherwise it’s just not that interesting.

If I wasn’t already familiar with billions of non-pregnant Britney images, if I didn’t know how skinny she is normally, it wouldn’t even be obvious to me that the woman on that magazine cover were actually pregnant.

I’m actually a fan of the pregnant nude, one of my favorite images is the video footage of the bikini-clad pregnant lady running around on the roof in the opening credits of The Kids in the Hall, but if you’re going to celebrate the pregnant form- do it in, like, the late seventh to the late eighth month.