The Buddy Hackett Wax Job joke

In THIS thread, Mockingbird and Lurkmeister both make reference to the wax job joke, but don’t bother to tell what it is. I asked twice what the joke was, but they ignored me.

No. It don’t work that way. You don’t make it go away by ignoring it. I demand to know what it is.

I did a search for “Buddy Hackett Wax Job” on the net but didn’t come up with anything conclusive, so I did “Wax Job Joke” and came up with THIS one.

So is this what you guys were talking about? Fess up. This won’t go away til you settle it. I’ll make sure of that.

I did the same search in hopes of finding a written version I could post to the thread, with no better luck. All I could find were variations on the one you link to, which are but pale imitations of Buddy’s version.

It’s been a while since I heard it, so I’m a little shaky on some of the details, and I can’t pretend to capture the nuances that Buddy Hackett puts into telling a story. But here is my feeble attempt:

A young man finds himself in Japan with time and money on his hands, and decides to visit a geisha house to see if they are all he’s heard about. He soon finds himself in the company of a young woman, in the full kimono, wig and make-up of professional geisha. After a brief tea ceremony she entertains him with a song, accompanying herself on a samisen. Then the entertainment becomes more personal in nature, culminating in the most passionate lovemaking he has ever known. Eventually, he begins to show the effects of sustained effort and he finds himself exhausted and spent. As he lay there, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, “You want wax job?”

Now this is one he’s never heard of, and he nods his assent. The young woman takes out a block of wood with blue ribbons attached to it. She gently ties it to his member, stroking it and whispering in Japanese. Then she suddenly slams a second block of wood into the first one, and all the wax shoots out of his ears.

That’s close but not quite. You’re getting warmer though.

Seriously, Buddy Hackett telling the joke is part of what makes it so funny. It’s got to be a .wav file somewhere.