I have an amazing life, and am very grateful for all that I have. I know that I am easily within the top fraction of a percent of the planet in terms of relationships, personal freedom, fiscal status, and other such things.
But I would really appreciate it if people would just fucking well stop suing me.
My complaint, though minor compared to some of the others in here, relates to how overloaded I feel right now.
I work full time in a job that I’m six months in to. I have a relatively steep learning curve and sometimes still feel like I’m not where I should be yet, but everyone is really supportive and I love my job.
I am also doing my Masters. It’s an independant learning/residency type deal, and I leave for my first three weeks on campus tomorrow. We had pre-residency assignments and I think I’m doing fine in two of the classes, but I really suck at economics. Got my first paper back and *barely *passed. Like, I got a 70 and that’s the cut off. One more mark off and I would have failed. I worked really hard on that paper too.
So I’ve been trying to bust my ass all week after hellish 10 or 11 hour days at work and then a few hours of homework in the evening. A good wrench in the wheel is that I caught a cold last weekend so I’ve been sleeping very poorly and am just so tired.
On top of all this, my husband and I (and my sister and her husband) are all undergoing fertility treatments. We are all infertile for one reason or another, and we have decided that I am going to do a shared cycle with my sister where I donate a few of my harvested eggs and we’re both doing IVF. The process is very long and drawn out, and very, very stressful. So there’s that too.
Anyway, I think I just need some perspective and help. My husband has been amazing this week, and I think I’ll just buck up and call our Employee Assistance Program and ask about getting a tutor for when I get back from school.
Man, I want to pinch his sneezy head off his neck, too. Sorry!
My life is freaking awesome, I have nothing to complain about. So here’s some advice:
Smiling bandit: join the French Foreign Legion.
Ugly ripe tomato: go back in time and re-seed your lawn before the rain like I did–then you’ll be happy you didn’t have to water every day.
Alright, that’s about as much of this thread as I can stomach right now. If anyone else wants some expert advice, just let me know.
I’m really pissed that they cut down the tree in front of my living room window. There went my shade, my privacy, and my natural noise/cooking-odor filter. I loved just laying on the couch and watching the leaves rustle in the wind, not to mention the birds that nested and fed there. I’m not an arborist or anything but I think that if the apartment management had bothered to do any maintenance on it over the last 5 years or so, the tree would still be standing. The policy of benign neglect regarding the landscaping and common areas is turning what was once a really nice garden-type place into a dump.
I’m a little afraid, but me please. How do I deal with my dad?
I hear that.
Next time, tell him you’ll do him a favor when he goes and fucks himself.
Well, I think your only option here is to join the French Foreign Legion. Or re-seed your lawn.
Really though, it sounds like you haven’t talked to him about it. He may have some issues he needs to talk through that will make things better, or you may realize you don’t want him in your life any longer. But living your life like a sit-com (ie, where no one talks about the problem and just gets all pissed at perceived slights until the whole thing blows up) ain’t the way to go.
Where is your dad from, and what is his background.
Sigh, I was hoping for a jokey response. Boo! But here is the issue with talking to him: it doesn’t happen like that in our culture, for one. Daughters do not “have talks” with their fathers, daughters listen and obey. I will not obey someone who has been absent from my life for more than fifteen years.
Problem 2: His English is brutally, brutally bad.
Problem 3: My Hindi is average and good at conversations but trying to have a deep talk? Forget it, I can’t express myself well enough. I’ll just inadvertently say something insulting.
Problem 4: He literally doesn’t listen. I posted in another thread how his eyes just start to glaze over as soon as I talk about myself.
I have just decided “no”. No, I am not going to do it. I won’t be his servant. What’s he going to do? Cut me off? Been there done that.
Gary, E. Indian - he’s been living here since the 1970s but his English is still terribly bad!
well the issue is very simple. He is labouring under the misapprehension that he is in charge of negotiations. You must remove that illusion.
Step 1 is simple. You block his number on your mobile phone and house phone. Your operators on both. You then ask your phone companies to not send your outgoing number.
Step 2 requires a lie. You tell him that you have changed your operator and give him a made up number. When He tries to call, it wil fail. The next time you speak to him, tell him you are having trouble with your new phone company. Calls do not come in, or drop without warning.
And there you go. You now speak too him when you determine. You end conversations when you are unhappy with them. It is of course a big smoke screen, but as you have made clear that you do not feel ready to confront him directly, this is your best option.
Heh, actually, I do all this already (I didn’t give him a new number) but I have caller ID and just don’t answer the phone at home or on the cell. In a mistake I gave him my work number shortly after mom died (so he could contact me about the cremation arrangements) but right now that is the only place he can reach me, and in a way it’s better because I can always say my boss is here and I can’t talk.
Really, I just have to stop saying ‘yes’, and I have made that decision. 
I am not going to confront him directly unless I absolutely have to. He’s 70 years old. I’d prefer not to make his remaining years more unhappy than I have to. He’s still my dad; he gave me his name when my real dad ditched me, I’m just not his servant.
I work with 2 sales reps whose production counts for a substantial portion of my salary. One has been on leave for a month. She was supposed to come back Monday but I came in this morning to an e-mail that her leave has been extended to december 5. I’m going to lose thousands of dollars over this and now I’m really pissed off.
Mika–DTMFA.
Rarely have I ever so thoroughly agreed with one of your posts.
**'Mika **(why do we all abbreviate it the same way here?) your posts always make me think of my mother. (Not fondly.) They sound the same, your father & my mother. Ezzzzzactly the same. You’re made of stronger stuff than I am, if you can keep putting up with that shit.
I hate my luck, what I want I don’t get, what I don’t want I get it. When I don’t want something, I have loads of it around, when I really want it, I don’t get it then. You guys might have guessed what I talking about. But I don’t know what to do.
I would like to have something to show for all my employment applications. I would work at Target or a grocery store if I could get hired. I live with my mother and have a car because my grandpa said that I could have his car when he died. I miss him.
I will renew my pharmacy technician certification this month. I’ve gotten to go to Galena, Illinois and been to see Steely Dan and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra but i am so tired of being me, and so angry that I can’t see straight most days.
Keeping my mother’s house clean gives me a tiny bit of accomplishment, but i’d feel better if I could get a job.
I’ve never been arrested, don’t do drugs and have an occasional glass of wine, or rum and coke. I don’t even want to go on expensive dates, just go sit in the park or watch movies that i bought at the pawnshop. I have stuff but no money.
My mantra now is “It won’t be that bad”, coupled with “It’s only ten days” because if it’s not one thing it’s your mother. Coming to visit. In three months time and I’m already dreading it and hating the dread of not looking forward to it and that lots of people would love to be getting a visit and I wish I did too. I sort of do.
Says who? 