Can’t talk - I’m still evaluating all the variables to my model that will underpin my substantial (but very catty) response.
Damn… you ARE crying on the inside.
Yep - this is me right now.
I KNEW It!
Probabilities of the outcomes may have a profound effect over the expected payoff. Extreme and trivial example: the LHC will either destroy the Earth, or it won’t. That clearly doesn’t mean we should interpret it to mean there is 1/2 chance of “success”.
This creates difficulties in generalising the best strategy in every case, as the probabilities will vary significantly depending on the circumstances and the two parties involved.
See, I told you someone would pull my theory apart. 
neuroman said:
I’m getting that. Just hard to break through the code when you don’t have the code book.
you with the face said:
Maybe because I keep calling, so she has to keep avoiding? Maybe because I actually did get her on the phone because I used a different phone to call? Not intentionally, just originally used my cell, then later called from my home landline. Why is it easier to play evasion games when you’ve tried that and it isn’t working?
But I’m willing to accept I’m the screwed up one here. Trying to make sense of all this is why I don’t date much. The hassle and frustration wear me out.
But I am listening to what you folks are saying.
Do you mean that the revised second example would signal interest? If so, how is “but maybe we can get together some other time. I’ll have to see, okay? I’m busy and I can’t plan too much far into the future.” anything but noncommital and vague? Where’s the precision? Where’s the commitment? If you didn’t mean that it signaled interest, never mind.
How is Oy’s “Thanks for last night; it would be fun to do it again some time” anything but vague?
“something that can just as easily be communicated through non-action”
Apprently (and not just in my case), it can’t be communicated as easily.
“You say you can’t take a hint, but why is that her problem?”
It does seem to be her problem, since she keeps getting bugged by someone she has no interest in. And if you say the opposite of what you mean*, you don’t get to complain that you’re misunderstood.
*Let’s get together sometime= Let’s not get together some time.
No, you’re not “writing him off as not interested in you.” You’re trying to compete at a perceived power game with him and “punish” him for not adhering to your timetable. Otherwise, I can’t really believe you would answer a call from someone who you were crazy about and say “Sorry, I wrote you off because you called in 7 days and not 3.”
Though the attempt is laudable, this kind of analysis is moot; you can’t give these outcomes equal weight, because doing so doesn’t consider the actual odds of success or failure within the variable. For example, you could set up:
Scenario 1: Grab the hot girl’s ass at the party
She reacts badly - FAILURE
She likes it - SUCCESS
Scenario 1 has a 1/2 chance of success.
Do you see where the logic breaks down? The odds of the two possibilities are not equal.
Or, what qbadger said. :smack:
I think you hit the nub of it.
I meant that it signaled disinterest precisely because it’s vague and noncommittal.
That’s vague, but it doesn’t indicate disinterest because it sounds like something someone would send in a text shortly after the first date, to encourage planning for another date. Look for noncommittal vagueness after you asked someone out for date, not before.
Really, you can’t just look at these things in isolation. And they aren’t rules either. Just guidelines for understanding subtleties in communication.
Consider that it works most of the time, with most people. It even worked in Irishman’s case. Eventually he stopped calling. It just took him a while.
It’s only her problem if she feels bugged. Screening calls is relatively easy to do. Sure, after a certain point, she’s will get annoyed. When that point comes, she may snap at you, too, and say some pretty harsh things (“Why did you call me a work? Are you insane?”). There’s a price that comes with forcing people out of their comfort zones. Taking a hint saves face for both parties.
This thread isn’t about someone complaining about being misunderstood. It’s about guys complaining when they waste time on someone who isn’t interested, when they aren’t receptive to alternate forms of communication.
That’s not quite how it is, though - you’re looking at it as someone saying the opposite of what they mean, and I’m looking at if from the perspective that if a woman says anything except a specific expression of interest, she’s not interested. In other words, she is saying what she means; she’s just not saying it to (generic) you. 
I forgot to add that I agree with this - that’s a good way of putting it.
Who is she saying it to?
The Earth Mother.
The person that she has agreed to go to a movie with on Saturday.
Uh, yes I am “writing him off as not interested” because he really isn’t interested in me or just isn’t interested enough. You’ve infused me with bitterness that I simply don’t have. I don’t have the time or the energy to “punish” men for imaginary slights and get into “power” games. They either have a high level of interest in me that compels them to call and make sure I will be going out with them real soon rather than another man or they don’t. If they don’t have that level of interest in me, no problem.
I’ve had enough dating and life experience to know that when a man is really and truly interested in a woman, they make a move. A man either really wants to see you again or he doesn’t. They don’t go home and wait 7 days before they call again unless they were 1) in a coma for 6 of the 7 days, 2) called another woman they were more interested in than me and she is no longer a prospect, 3) wanted to keep looking and keep their options open because something better than me in their eyes might come along, or 4) they were kind of on the fence about me and since they have no plans or their other plans fell through, why not give me a call.
It’s like buying shoes. If I see a pair of OMG I have to have these shoes, I try them on. If they fit, I’m snapping them up before someone else does. I’m not going to leave them on the shelf while I browse other shoes for a week and then casually walk by 7 days later and hope they are still available. If I think they are that great, I’m not going to leave their future availability to chance.
What is ‘DHMFA’ ? Even Google doesn’t know.
dump her…well you can figure out the rest…and I guess unless she is an incestuous lesbian the MF part techically doesnt make sense.