Whatever’s swept off the abattoir floor (for Jews, no pork).
Pitch a new sitcom to a TV network in 30 words, 3 of which are proper nouns.
Friend grabs sheep, you grab razor, start at tail, use concentric circles
Describe the movie Memento in 5 words.
Wife my killed G John
Describe one move from the game “Monopoly” in 27 words.
It was a dark, stormy Friday night, gathered with a close friend, in Jail. The sound of bouncing die and cheers as I am spring out. Doubles!
Describe the ultimate satisfaction of beating the computer in a fast paced game of Hearts in no more or no less than 19 words.
I should really proofread, please excuse my ignorance.
Go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, never under any circumstances bend over to pick up the soap in the showers.
(that was the only ever funny joke from Third rock from the Sun )
Describe alien abduction in 13 words.
Woo hoo! Finally, I can remember that hearts are good and the queen of spades is bad. I rule!
**
Much like going to jail, but with gentler anal probing and more aliens.
Explain to your mom what you’ve been doing until 3am and why you smell like beer in 19 words.
No memory. Memo to self.
Describe the Pope’s job in 11 words.
Whoops, I really should refresh a thread that I’ve had open for a while.
They dared me to, Mom. Next thing I know I’m wrestling three coeds in a kiddie pool of beer.
Describe the Pope’s job in 11 words.
Answer the phone if God calls. And wear a silly hat.
What is your plan for world peace, 20 words only, please.
Eliminate racism. Distribute food. Tie Osama and Saddam-like mongers to WMD and send them to the sun. Make Cecil president.
Expound on the virtues of microwave cooking in 17 words.
It is fast, clean and easy. A child could do it correctly. I love microwaving my food.
Write a 40 word essay on the platypus
Ah, the Ornithorhynchus anatinus. A truly remarkable animal. Mouth like a duck, body like a beaver. It has a venomous spur on it’s legs that can kill a dog or put you in severe pain. Beware the duck-billed platypus.
Characterize Bill Clinton in 2 words.
Randy ex-president.
Since it got overlooked amid simulposts, I’ll repost my challenge to Pitch a new sitcom to a TV network in 30 words, 3 of which are proper nouns.
A Randy Ex-President gets sand in his buttcrack and Shakespeare runs in screaming “To pick or not to pick!” while Bennifer steps in cat poop and farts in the wind.
Alrighty then. made up his own proper nouns
In 17 words, while using onomatopoeia thrice, describe the process of a bear taking a crap in the forest.
Bear feels knocking at back door, squats down and chants to bring about release: “Onomatopoeia, onomatopoeia, onomatopoeia.”
Detail the lifespan of a common housefly in 21 words.
I am Housefly. I am born. I bother some people. I fly around for a while. I attempt to spread nasty diseases. I am useless. I die.
Do your best at explaining the look of on a man’s face when he comes home early from work only to find his wife in bed with the mailman in 7 words.
You cheated on me - with my WIFE!!
Explain Sarcasm to a nine year old. In … oh say 15 words.
Daddy says something he doesn’t mean to be funny, daddy then looks like a jerk.
Explain how to use a portable USB flash disk to a 65 year old woman who thinks computers are the demise of the world … … … in 18 words.
ok, you just holler DRYFREEZE and get him to help you whenever you want to use it. easy!
describe the SDMB in 22 words.