A cute kitten appears on your doorstep. This is the cutest kitten you have ever seen. It laps up milk with its cute little tongue. It cuddles up in your lap with a cute purr. The next morning, it has grown to double the size, but still extremely cute. Also, another cute kitten appears on your doorstep. The next day, the original kitten has again doubled in size, and the new kitten has doubled in size, and another cute kitten appears on your doorstep. This pattern continues; you are squished by the cutest most enormous kitten ever within two weeks. Your body is never found.
You become as wily, devious, dishonest, and manipulative as the Devil himself. Then you die and are judged by God to be irredeemably evil. You spend eternity in Hell, ruled over by the Devil.
Superman shows up, tosses you in a gunny sack, then orbits Earth counter-clockwise so fast, it turns back time. His intention is to take you back in time to before the Big Bang occurred, but since nothing existed then, you and Superman become nothing. Thanks for dooming Earth to satisfy your curiosity, asshole.
I wish I could guess who the current Botticelli mystery guest is correctly.
You correctly guess who the current Botticelli mystery guest is. Which really pisses off Joe who is super competitive. He drives over to your house and murders you. Then steals your dog and treats it better than you ever did. Joe routinely visits your grave so your dog can pee on it.
Hotdogs now taste like root beer, and are available only as a carbonated beverage. Root beer now tastes like hotdogs, and is available only as a long sausage-shaped quasi-meat. In fact, nothing has changed but the terminology.
Almost everyone is transformed into Bigfoots (bigfeet?). As such, they are forced to wander around Arkansas. @Beckdawrek 's Son Of a Wreck is driven insane by the proof he has long sought.
This pandemic is over. Then it’s replaced with another pandemic, much more virulent, that wipes out all life on earth, animal, vegetable and others. The planet is now as barren as Mars.
You have the ability to turn back time. You do not, however, have the ability to alter anything, which means that everything that has happened is predestined to happen again. So, depending on how far you turn the clock, enjoy reliving things like WWI, the Great Depression; the rise of Nazism; WWII; the Cold War; the Kennedy assassination; Vietnam and Watergate; the Challenger disaster; 9/11; and the Trump administration a second time…
I wish I had the power of persuasion so as to be able to convince anybody to agree with me on anything.
The Devil tells you that you have that power. He lies. In fact, you now have no power to convince anyone of anything. When you ask the Devil what happened, he insists you do have that power and you just aren’t using it right.
I wish jelly donuts wouldn’t squirt down the front of my shirt.
One day, dust mites mysteriously disappear from Earth. Having nothing to survive on, Silverfish soon follow suit. Spiders that live on Silverfish also begin to disappear, leading to the demise of birds, lizards, monkeys and scorpions. Eventually, the whole food chain is disrupted, leading to massive starvation and the deaths of millions of people and animal species, all because you didn’t want to clean your home properly.
I wish this stupid tune I heard on a sappy commercial would leave my head.
Tom Brady does win an eighth Super Bowl; however, he wins it while playing for the London Silly Nannies as this comes after yet another expansion of the NFL to include Canada, Latin America, Europe, and Asia.
I wish America would accept the concept of term limits for all political positions.
Tomorrow Spotify will work perfect on your phone. Spotify will also be purchased by Elon Musk and will only play the same song on all of it’s channels. There Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haa! by Napoleon XIV.
I would like a nice sunny 75 degree day this Saturday so I can wash my truck.