Ok, I gotta say something here that applies to Sara and a few others. I see a lot of intelligent, clever, and shrewd comments made on this message board, and I am sometimes surprised to learn that some of the writers of these comments are as young as they are. I mean no offense to any of you “youngsters,” not in the least! It seems to me that people under, say, 30, are viewed as slackers, as apathetic, disinterested, disaffected citizens, and I am gladdened to see that’s not true across the board, that it’s more like a stereotype than an actual type.
I hope my point’s not lost here or misconstrued! I just feel that some of you are smarter at your age than many of us are at more-advanced ages, and I applaud you for it.
SexyWriter: Beautifullest female not showing her rack
Cumber: Least likely to be flamed
pldennison: Best allaround flamer and thinker
Polycarp: Best Christian
Fenris: Best informative yet not boring posts
Thank you, thank you [taking a bow]. I am humbled by your praise. I would also like to point out to you that not only am I a pretty face, but I am brilliant and I taste great!
Before anyone else beats me to it, I’d like to nominate myself as the poster whose posts are most likely to be met with complete indifference, if not outright apathy.
(the dopie award in this catagory is a little base with nothing on it.)
SUUUUURE you can nominate yourself. You can nominate any one you want. Of course if you want to be sure you sweep the competion, instead of merely nominating yourself, you could just AWARD YOURSELF YOUR OWN DOPIE. And there are no checks and ballances here. Award all the Dopies you want. If any one disputes the presentation…Thunderdome!..Two Dopers enter, one comes out…
And for the Doper whose posts are most likely to be met with complete indifference, if not outright apathy…t.e.p…Bumbazine!!!
The Doper who is a big 'ol copycat without the raw nerve for self-aggrandizing…t.e.p…dantheman!!!
The cutest,most succesful lurker…t.e.p…LadyRachel!!!
The Doper most likely to have a secret crush on LadyRachel…t.e.p…Cumber!!!
Screw that…I’m going to get an award from a rival organization!
Yes, for the most posts that met with indifference and/or apathy, I present myself with the Dummie! The Dummie is for those of us who didn’t quite make the cut for the Dopies. The Dummie is a low-rent, no-frills award and is made of the finest scrap paper the land has ever seen. Oh, and spit.
I’m the sole winner of a Dummie! I’m ever so proud!
Alas, I am not actually all that cranky. But thanks for the nomination, Lizard.
I think I’ve got the competition beat in the category of “Best poster of hijacks that never elicit further reponse.”
I don’t MEAN to hijack. My brain just works that way. My reward (well-earned, by the way) is to be completely ignored in the thread afterwards.
In the interest of living up to Lizard’s nomination: Fuck all of you who didn’t list me already.
And fer chrissakes, just because you like reading someone doesn’t mean they are a quality person or poster who is above the bell curve in anything except the fuss they raise. There are some damn shitty mixed up, or mean-spirited, or dumb-assed people who still garner a lot of attention. Sometimes I can’t figger out why. Most of the “popular” posters are popular because they are funny, witty, helpful, or interesting. But a few of them seem to be popular because they’re so fucking self-involved they insist that people pay attention to them.
How’s THAT for Cranky. I may have to change my handle to EmbitteredAsADriedUpOldTwat.
Oh, I’ve noticed you… I remember a Pit thread you started about something or other, and one of the first posts after your OP was along the lines of “Wow, I’ve never seen C3 PO’d!”
Golly, I thought that being runner-up to dantheman for the Dummie award would have to be my big claim to fame; however, I lost out to Bumbazine. But now I have this envelope here…the Dopie for the Oldest Apathetic Disaffected Slacker…and it goes to…me! ME!! Yay! Boo-yah!
Note to self: get Nacho4Sara as drunk as possible at Jeff Olsen’s place without feeling guilty afterward and worrying about her having to drive back home.
[sub]I won’t, though . . . [/sub]
Funniest Doper - andygirl, Fenris and Scylla tie for this one.
Most Likely To Have Been Voted “Biggest Flirt” in High School- Hamadryad and Coldfire
Crankiest- Whose time of the month is it?
Most Obnoxious - Wildest Bill (though I don’t mean that in a bad way either)
Actually, I lost this category by eleven votes. My competition was a cheerleader (aren’t they always?) who campaigned for the position. Meaning, she put up posters of herself making kissy faces at the camera and showing cleavage. My best friend and I were Yearbook editors, and I was pretty mad when I lost by eleven freaking votes!
Oh well. In my heart, I won.
And…in your dreams, Punha. I saw you locking lips with andygirl. I refuse to be your seconds.
Thank you! That’s such a wonderful thing to read. (I read the first line and thought, oh no, a lecture about diseases transmitted via the mouth!). I think most of the slackers and disaffected citizens wouldn’t last three days here. Although, from personal experiance, there are quite a few of them IRL giving the rest of us a bad name.
Thanks again! I’m putting you on my “Must Kiss at a Dopefest” list.
Actually, frighteningly enough, I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed” but seeing as how this is the only nomination I am likely to get here, I’ll take it!
The award for Best Use of a Salami by an Evil Schemer goes to tater!
And I have to say that the award for Doper Who (probably) Gives the Best Hugs goes to Lizard! He just looks so cuddly!
Awww…:o I have been told I’m pretty good though. You just have to be as cute as that kitten. I must remember to give evilbeth a demonstration of my hugging prowess if we ever meet.
Best Comic Fiction: Has to be Fenris, if only for those “How to become a moderator” stories. You can keep it with all those other awards, Fen.
Best <ahem> Adult Fiction: Anthracite, for making me wish I was a lesbian.
Best Newcomer: Although I’m one to talk with less than six months on the boards, I’m handing this one to mercutio for producing consistently good posts, particularly in light of the poster’s [stated] age.
Most Candid Poster: Although Esprix was a hot [sub]pun intended[/sub] contender for this one for his version of the Rough Guide to California, I had to give it to Sue Duhnym for her, ah, technical advice, and for permanently etching the word “ducklips” into my psyche.
SDMB TMI Award: Sorry, but the judges are still out on this one. Any late submissions gratefully received.
