the end of another regular football season

May the baby Jesus bless the San Francisco Forty Niners for trying their very hardest this year. And thank you Jerry Rice for all those intrepid seasons in the scarlet and gold.

Thank you Tampa Bay Bucs for making the playoffs and even if you freeze your dumb asses off out on the frozen tundra of Lambeau today, know that I love you and am proud of you and I still believe that you can win the Super Bowl at home.

Thanks to the Vikings and Jets and Dolphins for another embarassing late season collapse, which only reinforces what your fans secretly believed about you all along and provides prophetic amusement for a grateful nation.

A wink and a nod to the Rams, who were de-pantsed by the Bucs last Monday and now will get destroyed in the first round of the playoffs if they make it there at all which I doubt. Now we won’t have to hear The Inspirational Kurt Warner Story another 100 times and have to deal with the spectacle of his media whore of a wife waving her feather boa around on the sideline like her husband was Waylon Flowers and she was Madam.

Teary-eyed thanks to the FOX NFL pregame show for being honest and genuine enough to hire a big titted hottie to be their weatherperson.

Congratulations are in order for the Redskins’ diminutive superpunk owner, Daniel Snyder. You took a mediocre team and ran it completely into the ground, hog-tying it under the salary cap for many seasons to come, no coach in his right mind will ever work for you, and it only took you one year. Perhaps if you changed your team’s racist moniker, everyone will stop talking about what a little bitch you are.

Honorable mention to the Raiders and Saints for their unexpected success. Maybe not so unexpected on Oakland’s part, but still it is nice to see them avoid an embarassing late-season collapse for once. I hope that fat, drunken, bribing, date-rapist Pole they have for a kicker doesn’t get deported before next season. The Steelers deserve a prize for being a stalwart contender - but did they HAVE to tear down Three Rivers?

A friendly wave to the Dallas Cowboys for continuing to flounder towards the bottom of the barrel, proving once and for all that Karma is real. Just remember that it only gets worse for you from here on in, since Aikman is history and Emmitt will crack along every fissure the next time he gets a real hit. But even when you are 3-13 next year, just remember that by doing so you are providing joy and merriment to millions of other teams’ fans. There is certainly something missing from today’s Cowboys. Might I recommend a return to the cocaine and hookers?

All the other teams are pathetic in their own unique way but are not worth mentioning, except the Chargers, Browns, and Bengals who REALLY suck; the Ravens, who actually think Dilfer will take them all the way because they haven’t yet seen him throw 5 interceptions when it really matters, and the Giants who might make it a ways into the playoffs before stepping aside for any one of a number of better teams.

That was just freakin’ beautiful … 'cept for the part about my beloved Cowboys. Still, the return to cocaine and hookers might just be crazy enough to work …

I beg to differ. The Rams will win today and be helped to the playoffs by a Bears upset. They will then go on to repeat as Superbowl Champions.

Ok, no seriously now. You know how hard is was to type that with a straight face?

I love the Rams and will root for them all the way, but I doubt the Bears (at the time of the typing, losing to the Lions 10-0) will pull a win or a tie out of their collective asses, meaning the Rams will be home for Christmas. And even if the Rams DO get a Christmas miracle and the Bears win or tie, with the way they’ve been playing this year if they get past the first round, they’ll be knocked out in the second.

While I’m not a big fan of Snyder, everybody said no one would want to play for him last year, and they got plenty (too many) big name players (Bruce Smith may be at the end of his career, but he had a hell of a year). Why would no one want to coach for him next year? It’s not as though he’s the only hands-on, egotistical jackass of an owner in the league–who’s demonstrated a desire to win.

And by the way,

Hard to imagine you meant “Pole” in the kindest way possible.

I did, otherwise I’d have said something else.

Denial is not a river in Egypt, Redskin fan … Snyder sets a new standard for meddlesome, rule-skirting, and petulant behavior, surpassing Jones (!) or even Al Davis (!!). They had their best chance this year but they immediately rolled over and died like the lazy pack of aging, check-cashing dogs that they are. Snyder acts like a bratty child whose toy is broken and he wants it fixed NOWNOWNOW and any coach who takes his money is a masochistic whore. If the biggest name he can draw is a laughable hack like that idiot Pepper Rodgers, it should be clear that there are serious front-office problems.
Anyone who signs with the Redskins does it solely for the free bags of money; thanks to Snyder, the Redskins will be mediocre and unsuccessful for years to come and I am laughing about that and so is the rest of America. Maybe you should switch to the Ravens, heh.

But why am I defending myself to a Redskins fan? They aren’t even going to the playoffs. (pointing to scoreboard) Scoreboard.


Front-office problems, yeah. Mediocre, unsuccessful for years to come? Maybe. As opposed to before Snyder bought the Redskins? I’ll take mediocre with hope for improvement over Norv Turner for the foreseeable future any day.

Ravens fan? That’s about the harshest insult thrown my way.

In the spirit of the holidays, however, let me agree wholeheartedly with you on the Cowboys, as well as the Vikings, Jets (who apparently have done it again today) and Dolphins.

To quote Alan Rickman in Die Hard:
“It’s Christmas, Theo. It’s the time for miracles.”

The Bears win 23-20 thanks to a rookie kicking a 54-yd FG with 3 seconds on the clock.

Rams win 26-21 thanks to MVP Marshall Faulk. (Ok, I know it’s not offical yet, but come on!) 200+ rushing yards today (if I heard correctly) and set the new NFL record with 26 TDs this season.

I love this thread. The OP mentions just about all the teams in the playoffs, and not the one team that will win the Super Bowl.


The Filthydelphia Iggles??? Jesus, Montfort, get some taste!

RTA, thanks for the kind eulogy for the Cowboys. They’re in a transitional stage right now. (Yeah! That’s it!) Let’s be kind, OK?


If this is true, the Vikings will win the next 4 SB’s.

Ahh, robyn, I’ve been waiting all season for someone like you to show up.



The Eagles could get blown out in the Super Bowl next month and I won’t mind: the season has been a complete success because the Eagles swept the Cowboys.

Hell, I was happy after week 1. The Eagles could’ve finished 1-15 and I wouldn’t have minded: because the Eagles spanked the Cowboys in Dallas.

There’s nothing I like more than loving the Eagles, except for, maybe, hating the Cowboys.



Montfort I’m liking you more all the time. Any enemy of the Cowboys is a friend of mine.

So, I’m the only one dumb enough to take the bait.

FTR, at my house, the only team that is mutually hated more than the Washington Foreskins, er, Redskins, is the Iggles. That they beat the Cowboys is just another reason to hate them.


This Ravens fan thanks you for the casual mention. After today, we’ve proved we don’t need an offense. We’ll just punt on first down, and score by running back kicks and interceptions. Oy-Vey…

One of the finest days of this season was when the Cowboys lost at home to the Forty Niners. THAT was sweet. When the Bucs whipped them from one end of the field to the other, that was nice too; they were a convenient victim. But any day the Cowboys lose is a good day. They are loathsome.

PS The Bucs are going to slay the Eagles next week. After a few slams by Sapp of McNabb into that hard artificial surface, they Eagles will be exposed as a paper tiger and evaporate. All their hate-filled and debris-hurling fans won’t be able to change that.

PPS How did that taste, Jets fans? Talkin’ all your shit after they beat the Bucs at Tampa in week 4 … well, enjoy your January of no Jets games! (Maybe you can watch the playoffs by the light of your “Green Lantern”.)

We’re used to it. And as I recall, we did beat the Bucs, no?

You are all wrong. Get some new dope and you will see the glory that the Giants will bring to the postseason.

This New York-hater (don’t take it personally, manhattan, it’s the teams, not the boroughs I despise) is glad there’s no “Subway Super Bowl” this year.

Of course, since both teams are really the New Jersey Jets and the New Jersey Giants, it’d be a
“Newark Airport Terminal Train Super Bowl”, but I digress.

Well, since my beloved Redskins CHOKED LIKE DOGS in the second half of the season…

Time to root for my other favorite team. GO TITANS!

You all have it wrong.
The Broncos are going to beat the Raiders in the AFC Championship, and go on to win the Superbowl
You heard it here first. :slight_smile:
Merry Christmas