First, This post contains some semi-graphic descriptions. So, if that offends you, please stop reading.
I’ll make it short and sweet. I’m a gay guy. Six months ago, I was out with some work friends after work at a local straight bar. I noticed a man nearby who was with another man and woman and they were all dressed in business attire. His company left a bit after that and I drank enough courage to go talk to him. But he beat me to it. We chatted for at least 90 minutes and we were both tipsy. He said he was married and asked if I was. I confided that I was gay and single. This is the part where I cut to the chase. He came home with me and I performed oral sex on him. He stayed for a while and chatted. Then, he left. I never saw him again.
Fast forward to earlier this morning. I had my second interview at a really, really nice call center with great benefits, etc. Anyway, when I walked into the panel interview room, there were 4 guys there. And he was one of them.I was completely shocked. And judging by his face, he remembered me too. I was nervous at first, but he did a great job with the interview.
Damn. I wanted that job.
Moral to the story: Never have sex with a married man, unless he’s your husband.
See, you missed a great opportunity for some pointed remarks to this interviewer, like “I’d hate to blow this chance” and “I’d go down on my hands and knees” (or “bend over backwards”) for a job here . . .
Maybe winking broadly or laying your finger aside your nose at the same time.
I had an interview years ago. I was interviewed by maybe 3 or 4 guys who would be my peers if I got hired. Nice guys. One of them, Tony, asked me to provide references from my current peers. One that I gave him was for Camille. The next day I e-mailed Camille and asked if she’d been contacted. She said that yes, the night before she was talking about me to Tony in bed.
As it turns out, I’d met Tony – Camille’s boyfriend – at an office party a year before. I’d totally forgotten him.
Why would that be at all relevant to his job qualifications? I’ve had sex with quite a lot of strangers in my past, and it never interfered with the quality of my work.
Did you have sex with strangers in public or tell your prospective employers that you do that? It sounds like poor judgement to me. Remember that I wouldn’t find myself in the situation of either party described in the OP because I would not have sex with a stranger. So unless you told me that you had sex with strangers, or I was able to observe you having sex with strangers, I would have no idea. I wouldn’t believe hearsay about it. So in those cases I would consider you to have poor judgement. On the other hand if I start producing porn I would hire you in an instant.
Also, I should mention, first, that is my opinion. I’m making no moral judgement about having sex with strangers. Second, the OP felt this put him in an extremely awkward position which I would seek to avoid. That’s where the lack of judgement comes from. I avoid doing things that would cause me such awkwardness, or any other result that I don’t like. I’m already subject to too much awkwardness from situations created by others. I do all sorts of things that that result in situations other people would want to avoid. But that doesn’t deter me as long as I don’t mind the result.
Your history doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get the job, BUT. The guy was married and told you about it, so you have some “dirt” on him. I could understand being reluctant to hire someone with dirt on me, under those circumstances. I guess it all depends on how much sway he has over the other 3. If you really… nailed… the interview, he might not be able to talk them out of hiring you. Because that’s not really something he can bring up at the water cooler! :eek:
Isn’t the fact that you ‘wouldn’t want to hire anybody that blows strangers either’ a moral judgement in itself? You are pretty much saying that you don’t want these kinds of people working with/for you. I don’t see how this is different from not hiring someone because they are pro choice or pro death penalty.
Absolutely not. It is about their lack of judgement in a world where other people are making moral judgements about them. The OP clearly acted without consideration for the effect on his life of those actions. The particular actions are irrelevant to me.
I should point something else out. I assumed from the OP that rostfrei was applying for some kind of job that required some judgement. I’ve owned a restaurant and hired people who lacked judgement, but no great level of judgement was required and expected in the job.
Actually I see what you mean. I should rephrase that. I wouldn’t want to hire someone who blows strangers, but then is adversely affected as a result of that behavior. Replace ‘blows strangers’ with any other activity. I am pretty sleep deprived right now, so I didn’t realize that wasn’t clear. I apologize to the OP for my lack of clarity.
rostfrei, I’m back after getting a little sleep, and I want to apologize again for dumping what sounds like an incoherent rant in your thread. I’ve also been hypocritical, because I exercised poor judgement in not realizing I’d hit the wall after a long sleepless week. I had a point somewhere, but I’ve certainly poisoned it now. polar bear, I want to thank you for pointing out what I actually sounded like. I don’t think I can say anything else here now.
