Having not engaged in that many casual sex/one-night stand/trick situations until relatively recently, I’m wondering what the etiquette is upon running into tricks again in a bar under the following circumstances:
Things worked out, he said he’d call and didn’t
Things didn’t work out at all, to the extent that he fled (apparantly I activated some issues of his)
Things worked out, I called him and he called back saying he wasn’t interested in seeing me again
And in this age of online hookups:
Things worked out, he said he’d email and didn’t, then we “run into” each other again online later. Couple of alternatives to this one, one being that he remembers tricking with me and the other being that he doesn’t.
Girl! Where have you been? You have never tricked until recently? Just kidding. Tricking can be fun but shouldn’t be made into a lifestyle. It gets old and you get used up quickly.
However… 1. Things worked out, he said he’d call and didn’t I say hi usually but only if they aren’t talking to anyone. If they don’t remember my name (assuming we were introduced, I leave and ignore him from then on.
2. Things didn’t work out at all, to the extent that he fled (apparantly I activated some issues of his) TVGuy has a good one here. Ignore him but keep looking at him to screw with him. Mwuhahahah (where is that devil smiley?)
3. Things worked out, I called him and he called back saying he wasn’t interested in seeing me again Ignore him completely. If he says hi or something, flick him off and tell him he is a bad person. HEheh
4. Things worked out, he said he’d email and didn’t, then we “run into” each other again online later. Couple of alternatives to this one, one being that he remembers tricking with me and the other being that he doesn’t. I would keep talking to him if he remembers me. If he doesn’t he would be on an email blacklist.
If you run into him again, be casually friendly. Let him come to you, but smile politely should you catch his eye. If you do decide to sleep with him again, understand that he probably won’t call again so enjoy it for what it is, a once-off, and keep your expectations low. If not, leave it be, move on. Next time, be the one to get the digits and see how it goes from there.
Be understanding about his issues as that’s the nice thing to do; be polite should you run into him again and let him set the pace; don’t sleep with him again as you are obviously incredibly potent and much too much of a man for him
Act like he doesn’t exist and has no effect on you. If he says ‘hi’, return the greeting: there’s no need to be impolite or show him that he’s had the slightest bearing on your mood.
Be honest. If he remembers, and you enjoyed the initial experience, just plain ask him if he’d be up for anything else. If he doesn’t remember, be politely friendly then do your best to ignore further overtures on his part.
Generally, don’t try to play mindgames or have a strategy. The nicer you are to people, the nicer they are back and the more likely you are to get laid.
Umm… isn’t “tricking” or “turning tricks” a term normallly used by the skankier prostitutes to describing what they do? Why the hell would gay men want to use this somewhat nasty term to describe their dating behavior ,or are we actually talking about situations where you are paying a hustler for sex in your OP?
Until recently I’ve did a lot of tricking over the years, and there really is no right or wrong anwers, but here’s how I would handle each of your questions/situations.
Say Hi, if you are near by, make small talk and move on if you feel he has no interest in you, and more importantly, you have no interest in him.
Say Hi, if you’re near by, make small talk, if appropriate. Move on.
Tell him OK, see you around, later, bye. Move on.
(he remembers you) Ask if he wants to get together. That is of course if you want to get with him. (he doesn’t remember) Same as if he remembers you.
I’d avoid the bitchy/ignoring thing right away in the circumstances where he doesn’t remember you, or doesn’t want to get together again.
I’ve become friends with more than a few bad one night stand guys. And you never know who they know. Some of the biggest jerks, have cool friends, and you might end up with more friends, or a boyfriend/partner/lover/SO, etc. as a result of your bad one nighter.
