-
Dog ate it
-
Missed my train/bus
-
Bad weather
-
Budget cuts
-
Stress at work
-
Illness
-
Blame the refs
-
Wants to spend more time with his family
-
Pre-emptive strike
-
Late for work
-
The priest at my church told the story about how he was stopped for speeding. The cop asked him where he was going and the priest said he was going to the nursing home. The cop asked, “Oh no Father, is someone there dying?” and the priest said, “You never know!”
- Dog ate it
- Traffic jam
- Bad weather
- Company not doing well enough
- Couldn’t decide what to get them
- Headache
- Other team was just better
- Spend more time with family
- Capture terrorists
- Speedometer not working
- Dog ate my homework
- Traffic
- Mechanical difficulties
- Economic conditions
- Busy with work
- Other plans
- Referees made bad calls
- Spend more time with family
- WMDs
- Wife or family member in hospital
- The dog ate it
- Overslept
- Mechanical problems
- Not in the budget
- Forgot the date
- Already have other plans
- The other team was better that day
- Spend more time with family
- National security
- Didn’t realize I was going that fast
- The dog ate it.
- The car broke down.
- An engine fell off the plane so we had to reroute a spare aircraft.
- The economy’s tanked and we can’t pay raises without going bankrupt.
- I know how refined your tastes are, and could never find the perfect something.
- I have a headache.
- The officials made a wrong call at a crucial moment.
- I want to spend more time with my family.
- They allow their territory to be used by our rebels to attack us. We have a legitimate security interest in stopping this.
- My wife is dying in hospital
10 sounds better than “The brakes are faulty so I’m driving fast in order to get home before they fail altogether” doesn’t it.
- My dog ate it
- Traffic jam
- Bad weather
- Company doing badly
- Ordered it, hasn’t arrived yet
- Sick
- Other team played better
- Want to spend more time with family
- They might have WMD
- Didn’t know I was going that fast
-
My dog ate it
-
Traffic jam
-
Bad weather
-
Company’s not making enough money
-
Store was closed before I got there
-
Previous engagement
-
Referees screwed us over
-
Desire to spend more time with family
-
Weapons of mass destruction are being harbored by country
-
Have to go to the bathroom
-
With this board’s anti-Bush leanings, I’m pegging this as the conch
-
My brother Mark really did have to urinate, got pulled over, and used this line. Cop let him use the facilities at a nearby restaurant. When Mark emerged from the lavatory, the cop handed him the ticket.
- My dog ate my homework
- Heavy traffic
- weather
- company is going through a rough patch and cant afford it right now
- ordered it online, it hasn’t showed up yet
- Already made other plans
- The other team wanted it more
- Want to spend more time with my family
- They might have WMDs
- I was just going with the flow of traffic
4 - …but as soon as things turn around, you’ll be at the top of the list for a promotion/raise, so hang in there blah blah blah…
6 - … but if I’d known about your event earlier I definitely would have come
- Dog ate it
- Train was delayed
- Hazardous weather
- Times are tough all over
- Work pressures cause forgetfulness
- Prior engagement
- Bad officiating
- Wants to spend more time with family
- Appeasement never works
- Racing to a fire
- my dog ate it
- traffic
- weather
- the economy
- been too busy
- sick
- bad calls
- need to spend more time with the family
- weapons of mass destruction
- the sun was in my eyes
- Dog ate it
- Traffic
- Weather
- The economy
- Been so busy at work lately
- Have to work
- Didn’t want it enough
- Wants to spend more time with family
- Lebensraum
- Late for work
- Dog ate it
- Traffic
- Weather
- Bad economic times
- Thought their birthday was next week
- Sick
- Bad referees
- Wants to spend more time with his family
- Harboring terrorists
- Didn’t know what the speed limit was
When I was in third or fourth grade, a classmate handed in a really messy piece of paper that looked muddy and chewed. She had written a note of apology along the lines of “sorry for the mess – my dog tried to eat it!” I wasn’t aware of the cliché at the time, but I now wonder why that paper was in such a state…
It could be worse: 404 Not Found | 11alive.com
Hopefully this is on time
- The dog ate it
- Stuck in traffic
- Bad weather
- Low profits
- Wanted it to be a surprise later
- Have to wash hair
- The other team played better
- Spending more time with family
- They were going to attack us
- Late for work
- Dog ate it
- Traffic
- Bad weather
- Budget cuts
- Didn’t know what you’d like
- Sick child
- Injuries
- Family issues
- Liberate the oppressed
- Late for work
I didn’t have a dog, so I tried to get my pet RABBIT to eat my partially-completed homework once. It took forever, but I finally got a page with authentic toothmarks.
The teacher wasn’t buying it 
- Dog ate it
- Car wouldnt start
- bad weather
- Not in the budget
- Stress from work
- Not feeling well
- Bad officiating
- Want to spend time with the family
- They present a clear and present danger
- Have to use a bathroom
- my dog ate it
- traffic jam
- bad weather
- no money in the budget
- busy at work
- have something else planned
- key player out
- going to focus on my family
- WMD
- medical emergency
- My computer crashed while I was editing it and I had to retype the whole thing.
- Bad traffic / train delays
- Bad weather at the central hub in Chicago/Atlanta/etc.
- “Your compensation is already above market/average for the firm”
- “I got you something special that hasn’t arrived yet in the mail”
- “I’m seeing my parents that night”
- “That critical blown call by a referee/umpire changed the entire game”
- “I want to spend more time with my family”
- Just looking for the car keys – I mean, checking for Weapons of Mass Destruction
- My speedometer isn’t really working, I have to get it fixed