My experience has been exactly like that of RedRosesforMe. I’ve gotten it all the time, in many different cities, and 10 times out of 10 the guy is African-American or Hispanic. Wearing iPod headphones everywhere helps, though; the comments drop dramatically, even if I’m not listening to anything at the time. And I don’t have to do the bitchface walk.
Oh, and I don’t think it has much to do with me being a super-hot babe or anything. I’m cute, but you wouldn’t pick me out of a crowd of twentysomething girls.
I feel like I need to get to the bottom of this. This is upsetting! I’m 23, lived in Nashville, New Orleans, Chapel Hill North Carolina, Chicago, and San Francisco and I have never once been hit on during the daytime by a sober person/non-bar situation. I didn’t think I was hideously disfigured!! I’m also not shy. So its not like I’m that introverted write in a journal coffee shop kinda person. I’m flirted with but never by strangers who don’t know me already. Tomorrow I’m applying extra deodorant and taking off my glasses. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I know this was half in jest, but there may be something to the glasses remark. I won’t butter you up* beyond saying that I’ve seen your pictures and you’re very attractive, but I do think glasses make a girl look slightly less approachable. They’re a barrier of sorts.
Well…I think part of it is a power dynamic situation. I strongly suspect that many guys do it because it makes them feel in control. “I own this street, and I have the right to feel comfortable and secure here, and you don’t!”
Maybe you look too confident, too much like you wouldn’t be ruffled by it. (Too much like you might give him the finger? ) I’m pretty sure that I look young, timid, naive, et cetera. I can’t help it, really, or if I can, I’m clueless as to how. I think it’s just in my features, though.
If we’re counting catcalls or the like as being hit on, then that happens to me a fair amount. But I never really saw that as being hit on. More like just general appreciation. Male attention doesn’t bother me, not to the point of needing to walk like I want to be left alone. Maybe it has to do with being more self assured?
I can’t speak to the other cities, but the Bay Area doesn’t seem to be a place where women get hit on by random strangers all that often. Of course, I’m a dude so I could just be missing all the instances.
There’s the key; I think…accosting women on the street is rather declasse, and in more prosperous areas, it’s not as frequently done, except for the working folks they let in for the day.
You know, honestly I can’t try to explain what makes one woman mor or less approachable. I am one of the world’s least social people, but for some reason, people tend to think I am approachable (not just guys hitting on me, but strangers in general chatting me up) I live just outside of Nashville, so I know it does in fact go on there.
As for the comments about confidence, I donno. I mean, the one compliment I get all the time from guys is “you just seem so confident.” I find it hilarious, because it isn’t confidence, it’s just that I don’t give a shit what you think*.
Oh, no. Trust me, what I have is most definitely not confidence. It is borne of being so frickin’ poor growing up that there are whole years that we did not have running water and had to collect and use rainwater for baths. We had a wood-burning stove in the winter and I always smelled like smoked ham (yum, huh?). Oh, and the whole “you were a mistake and I wish the abortion hadn’t failed” attitude my mother had towards me thing. Uh, yeh. Confident, I am not. A bitch, I am.
I have a “resting bitch face” I think it takes some sort of effort for me to look friendly. Maybe the glasses are a bit severe. I want to design some sort of experiment around this but I would have to try to control so many different things to make it good. Like wear my hair the same way, makeup, cheeriness all thats different is my glasses. Gotta stop being such a beeyotch all the time…
When I was not so confident and walked inward I got hit on a lot.
Now I have a very confident, sometimes almost cocky walk. I get hit on much less, and the guys that do, I don’t mind so much because they have even more confidence than me and usually have some class, too.
) I’m pretty sure that I look young, timid, naive, et cetera. I can’t help it, really, or if I can, I’m clueless as to how. I think it’s just in my features, though.
