[QUOTE=Soul]
Holy crap, I can apply my (almost complete) sociology degree knowledge to a conversation – I was beginning to despair of this ever happening!
[/QUOTE]
Well, Soul, you are new here, but you have now learned that the SDMB is the best place ever to make use of the loads of useless knowledge each of us possesses.
BTW, thanks for the informative reply!
This “constant hitting on” thing is maybe more common in the black community? I just don’t see it in my (mostly white) world. Or maybe it’s a big city phenomenon?
[QUOTE=burundi]
I wouldn’t say that I get on constantly, but when walking I definitely have been approached by strangers more than I like. It’s more crude comments than pick-up lines. It doesn’t happen every time I leave the house, but I don’t doubt RedRosesForMe for a minute.
[/QUOTE]
It’s not every time I leave the house, but nearly every time I leave the house on foot. Gives the guys more of a chance to try to strike up a conversation or just throw a crude line my way. And the chances are greatly increased if I am with another female friend.
Like I said, it’s not that I’m super-hot. I think it’s my fat ass.
And Walloon, it might be that it’s more common in the black community, although I can’t say for sure. It’s mostly black men, ranging from 20s to 50s, although the older gentlemen are usually much more polite about it, flirty small talk while waiting in line at the convenience store or what-not.
ETA: And I don’t know if it’s necessary restricted to big cities. I live in a fairly small city, but downtown where there’s a lot more foot traffic/crackheads/bored guys on the street.
One of the white men really stands out for me, just for the oddness of it. I was walking home from school one afternoon, wearing my headphones, and a 40-ish white guy approaching me motioned for me to take off my head phones. I figured he needed directions or wanted to know a good place for lunch. Instead, he just said,
“Has anyone told you today how beautiful you are?”
“Um, no. You’re the first one today.” :dubious:
[QUOTE=RedRosesForMe]
One of the white men really stands out for me, just for the oddness of it. I was walking home from school one afternoon, wearing my headphones, and a 40-ish white guy approaching me motioned for me to take off my head phones. I figured he needed directions or wanted to know a good place for lunch. Instead, he just said,
“Has anyone told you today how beautiful you are?”
“Um, no. You’re the first one today.” :dubious:
[/QUOTE]
Which reminds me, RedRosesForMe…have I mentioned how your username has a beautiful poetry to it and…dare I say it…gives off a hint of unbridled sensuality?
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
I think guys do it less because the are cold less (based on observations of the regular office quarrels over the thermostat).
[/QUOTE]
IIRC, women tend to perceive temperature as about 5 degrees colder than men. As I understand it, this is because women have more subcutaneous fat and fewer blood vessels beneath the skin ( smaller muscles to feed ), and lose less body heat - and you feel heat and cold with your skin. So, women feel colder, but they are actually more cold resistant. Men feel warmer, but are more vulnerable, because they are losing heat; rather like the effect that drinking has.
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion]
Which reminds me, RedRosesForMe…have I mentioned how your username has a beautiful poetry to it and…dare I say it…gives off a hint of unbridled sensuality?
[/QUOTE]
:o Thanks, Sophistry and Illusion. But I stole it from my favorite band, so it’s this guy’s unbridled sensuality you’re picking up on.
[QUOTE=RedRosesForMe]
…so it’s this guy’s unbridled sensuality you’re picking up on.
[/QUOTE]
:dubious:
[QUOTE=Soul]
Men, on the other hand, have a different “leave me alone walk”
[/QUOTE]
Except during those times when men are afraid of getting hit on in the worst possible way, and they adopt a posture designed to make themselves as small as possible.
John Dillinger was in the running crouch as he was shot outside the Biograph Theater, which is why the bullet that entered beneath his kindney blew out his eyeball. He was a Navy vet, so this would have been instinct, not training.
[QUOTE=Sophistry and Illusion]
:dubious:
[/QUOTE]
Heh. Being a bit of a Pogues fan myself, I knew that one was coming.
I’m still going to need to see those boobs.
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove]
Except during those times when men are afraid of getting hit on in the worst possible way, and they adopt a posture designed to make themselves as small as possible.
John Dillinger was in the running crouch as he was shot outside the Biograph Theater, which is why the bullet that entered beneath his kindney blew out his eyeball. He was a Navy vet, so this would have been instinct, not training.
[/QUOTE]
Very true – increasing the amount of space one takes up is a common strategy for men to ward off social encounters and psychological harm. However, when you’re being fired upon, it’s infrequent that the shooting will stop just because you seem too confident or scary to approach. In that case, I would guess that a desire for physiological preservation overcomes traditional gender norms.
Also, thanks for the kind words, Sophistry and Illusion.
[QUOTE=lobstermobster]
who the hell gets hit on by strangers just walking around? I’ve never seen anything like that. I do the bitch face walk when I’m trying to dodge panhandlers. If you look like a sympathetic young women they’ll really go after you.
[/QUOTE]
In my twenties, I did. Now, not so much. I get hit on at work by male patients upon occasion.
[QUOTE=sugar and spice]
but before 3pm on your average college campus, I actually don’t think Don Juans are much of a threat, YMMV.
[/QUOTE]
Oh?
What, you’ve never heard the expression “boys want sex in the morning”? I don’t think time of day makes a damn bit of difference.
[QUOTE=Walloon]
What city is this? I’ve never seen such a thing.
[/QUOTE]
I’ve gotten it both in the Detroit area and the Chicago area. Presumably it occurs other places.
Hasn’t happened as much the last 10-15 years, but in my mid-teens to late twenties I’d get hit on pretty much daily.
Broomstick, was this in the black community?
Just to weigh in on this – I don’t do it often, but when I do it, it is quite effective, even without the looking down part. I do get hit on a lot. I don’t understand those of you who seem flummoxed by the concept of women getting hit on by total strangers, it happens. Chit, I was at $tarbucks with my husband when some random guy walked over and asked me out. I got hit on at a museum in front of my husband, fercrissakes! It happens.
For me, the reason I do the “leave me the fuck alone” walk is simply that I loathe people. All of them. I am not social. Not that I am shy, I’m not, I just don’t like social interaction. Some days, I can fake it. I will smile back at you and nod a hello, but most days, I just don’t want you to look at me, talk to me or think about me. It’s just plain anti-sociality.
Oh, and the chicks are always cold thing? Yeh, that, too. I was wearing a hoodie over a long-sleeved shirt yesterday in 86 degree TN weather. They keep it about negative 70 in my office (no freakin wonder I am sick and going to have to waste a sick day and a $25 copay to see the doctor today!) and it takes me a while to warm up after I leave there. When it was still over 100 during the day here, I would go out to my car (where I had had the windows up all day) and just sit there, windows up, trying to warm up – some of us stay colder longer, it’s a chick thing, mostly.
Funny enough, while I get hit on a lot in public (museums, $tarbucks, the grocery, the mall, walking down the friggin road, the bank, the post office, etc), I almost never am hit on at concerts, clubs or bars.
FWIW, I am 35, white and live in a very small town. While a lot of latino and black guys hit on me, it is overwhelmingly white, 30-50 year old professional looking men that hit one me. The guy at $tarbucks was driving a friggin Lexus and wearing wingtips – good looking guy, very well spoken, but also oblivious apparently to the fact that the guy in fatigues standing close enough to be touching my butt with his thigh might be my husband. I just think that there are a lot more guys out there who just go for it, whenever, wherever.
[QUOTE=Walloon]
Broomstick, was this in the black community?
[/QUOTE]
I’ve gotten it in black, white, hispanic, mixed… the community doesn’t seem to matter. I don’t get it much in Asian areas, but it may be a combination of language barrier and lack of awareness of some of the body language (American-born Asians certainly seem as eager to be annoying as any other ethnic group). Which is not to say it’s constant or daily but it most certainly does happen.
[QUOTE=RedRosesForMe]
One of the white men really stands out for me, just for the oddness of it. I was walking home from school one afternoon, wearing my headphones, and a 40-ish white guy approaching me motioned for me to take off my head phones. I figured he needed directions or wanted to know a good place for lunch. Instead, he just said,
“Has anyone told you today how beautiful you are?”
“Um, no. You’re the first one today.” :dubious:
[/QUOTE]
Heh. I’ve got a friend (late 20’s) who is in the habit of doing this … or at least he used to be, before he got married; I don’t know if he still does it, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, his modus operandi is to walk up to a woman and say “Sorry to bother you, but I just had to tell you that you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Have a nice day!” Then he wanders off.
I asked him once why he did that, and he said he was trying to brighten their day. I said “Don’t you think it’s more likely that you’re freaking them out or at the very least making them think ‘Not another guy hitting on me’?”
[QUOTE=Broomstick]
I’ve gotten it in black, white, hispanic, mixed… the community doesn’t seem to matter. I don’t get it much in Asian areas, but it may be a combination of language barrier and lack of awareness of some of the body language (American-born Asians certainly seem as eager to be annoying as any other ethnic group). Which is not to say it’s constant or daily but it most certainly does happen.
[/QUOTE]
Funny, I get hit on more by the Asian community than any other non-white ethnic group. I think it is that I could pass for (at least part) Asian. When I was a kid, my parents often got comments about their “little adopted girl.” People thought I was a Vietnamese kid – which is funny because while I do tend to have the yellow tinge to my colouring, that’s pretty much where the similarity stops (at least as far as I can see). I will say that I like when Asian guys hit on me – they’re just so sweet about it. As always, YMMV.
[QUOTE=Broomstick]
I’ve gotten it both in the Detroit area and the Chicago area. Presumably it occurs other places.
[/QUOTE]
In Chicago, I think it depends on the neighborhood. When I lived in Hyde Park, getting complimentary/lewd comments from random men on the street really was a daily occurence. It became so much a part of the background that I didn’t really notice it unless it was extreme (like a guy in a car pulling over to talk to me). I don’t get it nearly as often on the street now that I live up north.
