** What to tip the pizza guy
Pro-Tip!
**
I must be guilty of something
Unrequited Love
So, I lost my damned glasses
The blind leading the blind at the gym
Separated by one:
**When your group is the butt of the joke
Fat women and yoga pants/spandex
**
** What is the term for a so-so gesture you make with your hand?
Plumbing SOS!**
** The drawbacks of being President of the United States
Unlimited Free Time, Unlimited Internet
Fat women and yoga pants/spandex**
“Barack, it’s 2 a.m.! Stop that web surfing and come to bed!”
“Just a couple more minutes, Michelle.” (heh, heh)
A lot of people like what Obama does until they are told that Obama is doing it. Then they hate it.
Obama to request a new AUMF
Yeah! We should kick ISIS’s ass! Wait, Obama’s asking for it? You know, I’m getting tired of war…
These two are now sequential.
** Accepting a Counter Offer - need answer semi fast
I’m out of sticks and carrots.
**
Go with the one that offers you carrots
** Households where one person sits on their ass and does nothing
Fat women and yoga pants/spandex
**
stereotypes rule!
** I need some picture ideas for my dining area, and I’m trying not to be cliche.
I’m out of sticks and carrots.
**
** Why does Comcast have evil customer service?
Unique employer benefits?**
“Rajesh, if you frustrate at least 50 customers a month into hanging up and not canceling their service, you’ll get your own parking space and a Comcast ball cap!”
At what point does virginity end for a woman?
The term "neighborhood"
That’s…not what “safe word” means.
**Knife Advice
Looking for input on when to euthanize a cat **
** i have a metal nail enterd now in my foot
Did I just lie about Galileo to a fat kid on a sled?**
Sudden pain makes us do strange things…
** New Jehovah’s Witness proselytizing method?
Tesla home storage battery
**
"Now you’ll see the correctness of our philosophy as soon as Ephas finishes hooking you up. "
(Actually, the J Dubs who come to our door are charming people that Pepper Mill invites in for tea. And they don’t go in for Old Testament names in a big way. But I couldn’t resist the cheap shot.)
**Odd Couple. Two Felixes?
The Oscars: Best Visual Effects **
Neil Simon seeing double.
**Did I just lie about Galileo to a fat kid on a sled?
Can probation officers lie to their clients?
**
Are they Fat and riding a Sled?
** Let’s say there’s 100%-certain proof of life in outer space. How would it change our lives?
Good resource for sixth grader to learn comprehensive sex ed?**
Wait, you use your third eye for what?
** What is the term for a so-so gesture you make with your hand?
Did Peasants Really Throw Their Feces at Marie Antoinette?**
If that’s “so-so”, I’d hate to have seen what they were throwing when really peeved.
Words you don’t expect in a text
The bTruth About NASA’s Moon Exploration!!!
Actually, I do expect that word.