** Special things your parents taught you
Eye opening moment of self-image**
“You’re totally worthless! You’ll never amount to anything! But we love you.”
Anyone tried haggis?
Produce that got more widespread and crappier
Haggis was delectable before it went mainstream. Now… 
**Anyone Ever Lose Their House Keys IN Their House?
So, I lost my damned glasses
**
** Naming our Bed & Breakfast, need ideas
Why is the name “Muhammad” so popular?
**
“Muhammad’s B&B. Can I help you?”
**Has any actor other than Peter Dinklage ever done this?
So what do you think Fight Club 2 will be like? **
I personally would love to see Peter Dinklage as Tyler Durden.
**Does cold weather make starting a campfire harder?
Did they freeze my dead grandma? **
Wait, you’re using your grandma as kindling?
Question for those who don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Has any actor other than Peter Dinklage ever done this?
Shattered Kitchen Myths
Should I buy a toaster oven?
No. They’ve been disproven.
**Got something cool that only true aficionados recognize?
Today I had a hot flash **
That’s not cool, it’s hot. Pay attention.
** Mississippi: Let Jesus take the wheel.
Grumble Grumble**
Jesus takes forever to parallel park.
Poll: Are you overweight? What’s the cause?
Are Norwegians simply emotionally calmer and more placid?
Yup, Ole hasn’t gotten upset about anything in 40 years, which is why he weighs 700 pounds.
**A letter from Auschwitz
Today I had a hot flash**
Too soon??
** Question for those who don’t eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Peanut Butter and Pickle Sandwich? How About Mayo?
**
How do I get my toddler to eat veggies?
What invisible thing is biting me?!
First, get her to stop biting Bjlw.
** Have you ever known a sex worker?
Have you ever complained about packaged food weights before?**
“Oh darling, I’ve never heard anyone complain about being shorted on a box of Raisin Bran before!”
Odd Couple. Two Felixes?
"The Oscars go on too long"
Joining the Navy
Bird feeder sightings
The world includes bird feeders…
What would be your Oscar acceptance speech?
"The Oscars go on too long"
How do pet reptiles acquire salmonella?
Milk
That’s why I always put out a nice bowl of vodka for my pet cobra.
Alcohol and driving do not mix. Seriously.
I’m finally biking to work!
I’m sure this will end well…