The Forbidden Book o' Quotes

For any of you who have been reading the Bad POT trip thread someone has actually requested that i post some of the Great Book o’ Quotes. Well, unfortunately, many of them are in-jokes (actually, they’re beyond in jokes as we were the ones who made them and we don’t even get some of them). Anyway… i will post a few as a warning to those who don’t have the good sense to keep their mouths shut during a session… enjoy…

These begin somewhere around Last March (Names have been deleated to protect the guilty):

“Man…he’s like some kind flaky pastry that only got half baked…”

“Man… I don’t wanna suck on that” (after being offered a water bottle)

“Yeah man… that’s how they do it in Norwegia” (don’t ask what we thought they did in Norwegia…)

“YEP! That apple’s on FIRE!” (Yes, and i’m not sure why, but it was)

“You idiot! Look at your self!” (Long story…)

“CHOCK-o-LATE! I like CHOOOOOOOOOOCK-O-LATE” (the man liked his Chocolate)

Question: “Man… What happened to you?”
Reply: “I… I… No rememberage…” (I can’t remember what happened with this one, although I do recall a lot of people falling down all about the same time…)

“Man, this stabs the back of my throat” (said while “Baptizing” a Jay)

(Said by the girlfriend of a friend while she was holding a steak knife): YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKIN WEIRD! YOU’RE GONNA DIE (to a friend who had been tied to a surf board’s safety strap… again, a long story) YOU’RE WEIRD (to the guy sitting next to me) AND YOU’RE EVEN WEIRDER THEN WEIRD!!" (I, apparently, am a pretty weird guy)

(Said bare moments later as we begged her to put the friggin steak knife away): YOU GUYS ARE THE BIGGEST BUNCH OF MELODRAMATIC RETARDS EVER! (what can I say… I now know fear.)

“Yeah man, he has wild sex! His girlfriend’s FRENCH!” (I don’t remember but I’m pretty I shook the mans hand…)

“It’s a Zen thing, you’re going to be happy, you just don’t know it yet”

“I’m gonna get some CANDY (very, very excited) YEAH!!!” (and it was some damn good candy…)

“I am J---- the light blocker!”

“Man, you can’t tell me things like that now… but you already did…YOU BASTARD!”

“Do Star Cabbage count?” (some of these I just don’t know about)

“M—, are you alright man?” (sound of dry heaves) “man… you know what you need? some snow man” (further dryheaves) “you want some snow dude?” (impressive dryheaveing)"cause there’s snow every where dude, all over the place… this went on for the better part of an hour…
Seeing as this book was written in my handwriting moments after these things were said, and seeing as some of these are my own (showing I was in no condition to write things down, many of them are totally illegible. I’m not sure if the ones that survived make any sense, but you must keep in mind that for something to Make the Book it had to seem incredibly funny at the time. Also, many were lost because I was laughing too hard to write them down when they were said, and then forgot what it was I had been laughing at… up in smoke, as it were…

Anyway, hope you enjoy some of them at least (Hope you’re not too let down BornDodgy)
Later later!


Wow… No feadback what so ever…

this may very well be the most indifferent post i’ve ever had…

Hey, I read the quotes and laughed my ass off, and I don’t even know the story behind them or the people involved. I guess I’m just easily amused.

I just laughed my ass off Upham… cause I ve heared some of those quotes life… seems like we all say the same things when we are mashed…

I feel like contributing a few quotes I remember… not much though…

saied to my boyfriend by numerous stoners…
You are a monkey.
Doh cheeky monkey!
You are a monkey you just dont know it, cause you have a human brain inplanted (sp?) into a monkey body… so you dont know you are a monkey, but you are.

(They would go on and on and on about that for ages… )

Ramblings of all kind

(out of nowhere…) I d like to have a leather toilet seat
Who s the daddy?
munchies. munchies. munchies. (in a choir)

Snowboard fanatics…
Can you see the mountain, man? Can you see the mountain?
(saied in a hobby room… followed by half an hour of pretending to board…)
I am darf wador!!! (me with my sleeping bad worn as a dress… it was cold you know…)
Dont remember anything else… or I try to forget… hehe

Okay it was not a monkeybody and human brain - it was the other way round… hehe

and of course there are apple quotes too…
ours were never on fire… but waxed

Wow… that apple is waxed
(and yeah… it was covered by a thick cover of wax

we also feared the mighty ninja… a garden dwarf/troll whatever… whenever he fell from the shelf he landed on his feet… that s why we thought he was a ninja… so we locked him in a toolbox…

BornDodgy I’ve had something like the “monkey talk” before, I think it was the brain of a giant Squid though. I’ve no idea why but the Squid thing has been a running theme for the past couple years… As for the Great Burning Apple i was talking to those invloved New Years Eave. Apparently we had set fire to a sheet of Bounce Fabric Softener (when you burn it the smell covers the smell of the other things you’ve got burning in the room) Anyway, an apple was handy where we were burning it and the rest is charred, smelly history.

My personal favorite was one of my own. We were all messed and hadn’t thought ahead to get chow before we smoked, so everyone was starved. I offered to go to the store and everyone started screaming out what they wanted all at once… I remember just standing there saying:

“Loaf a Bread, container a milk and a stick a butter… Loaf a bread, container a milk and a stick a butter” over and over again until i finally ran out of the room (If you watched Sesame Street as a kid you’ll get it)

One i’m really sad i lost was once a friend and i had been drinking all night when i realized at around 4am that i had to be in another city by noon. At about 5am (with my friend still hauling off a bottle of wine) we jumped in his car (i was driving, he said he didn’t want to drink and drive because that way he could only hang onto the wheel with one hand) and headed in.

He dropped me off (considerably sobered, as we’d stopped for Breakfast on the way) at a Save Easy in town. I swung my guitar over my shoulder, lit my pipe (tobacco in this case) and stepped away as he pulled out across the empty morning parking lot. As i was turning to go he stopped, put his window down, leaned out and with an exhausted, slowly sobering, one eye half closed look on his face and said one of the deepest and most meaningful things i’ve ever heard a man utter. Something that would carry me through the extremely rough day we both knew i had before me. Something Hunter S. Thompson would have yelled to his Samoan Attorney from the wheel of his White Cadillac as his friend boarded the airplane in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas…

To this day i wish i had a clue in hell as to what it was he said, i can’t remember for the life of me. I know i heard him, but he can’t even remember saying anything. Good times, good times…