The Force is with Sequential Threads

**Local child loses fingers in escalator
Treadmill Suggestions? **

**Mom is having a mastectomy

How to lose 25 pounds in 8 days **

Unfortunate, but at least her back will probably feel better.

Just in time for Valentine’s day:

How can I approach this girl in a way that’s not creepy?
Holy crap, she said "Yes!."

Ask the weirdo going No-Poo
Your Date Smells. Do You Ditch, Tell Them, Or Suffer In Silence?

A rare four-fer:
** Our cat died last night…

Now that he’s gone…

I may be developing a problem.

We Have Pigeon Eggs **

Wow! That doesn’t happen very often!

You forgot “Burma Shave.”

Hey. I Need To Ask Something.

Where are my keys?

Dammit!

** I Suspect I Have Alzheimers

Where are my keys?

Coincidence**

… I think not!

Ankle surgery this week–what I am forgetting?

You missed the four bagger.

**What are you doing for Lent?

I’m appealing. Attorneys: ultimate facts/ law v. equity in practice…**

Whatever happened to the Malthusian apocalypse?
Can a theory be entirely wrong and still make correct predictions?

**I need a cheap way to be cheered up

Sophomoric fun with high school team name **

To be fair, he probably meant cheap and effective.

**
I may be developing a problem.

Local child loses fingers in escalator **

Whoa ! If that’s what happens while your problem is just “developing”, you’d better stop before you lose the whole kid !

**What’s the most hare-brained scheme you’ve ever seen proposed on a message board?

“Must-see” Parts of America on a cross-country drive **

Well, I don’t know if it’s THE most hare-brained scheme…:slight_smile:

**Man’s Body Dragged Through Queens And Brooklyn

To Our Austrailian Dopers **

So - were they in on it ? And if not, why were they all there ? Suspicious . . .

**Unexpected Tasks You’ve Performed For A Loved One

Moving to Fresno **

Wow, how does that work ?

“What’s up, dear ?”

“We’re moving to Fresno.”

**What’s the most hare-brained scheme you’ve ever seen proposed on a message board?
About walking for fitness. **

Eh, I’ve seen crazier.

**Fuck UPS.

Fucking AT&T!!!

Ed, WTF?
**

**“Kokkokokokekko…” On the Power of Jingles
Holy crap, she said “Yes!.” **

Who put the “Kok” in the “Kokkokokokekko”? Who was that man, I’d like to shake his hand, he made my baby fall in love with me…

**Life Lessons You’ve Learned While Dating

It looks like I won’t commit adultery this week **

That’s a good lesson.

**Solution to Financial Crisis

Fucking goddamned smelly homeless people on the bus**

I’m not really seeing how that would solve the financial crisis.