Fortunately, Diceman spots a sign:
Perhaps that wormhole is still there?
Unfortunately, the wormhole has been eaten by a gigantic Space Roc.
Fortunately, the bird is still around, and so huge it doesn’t even notice our group as they stow themselves away amidst its plumage, knowing that at any moment it is likely to make a quantum jump to another (hopefully more enjoyable) part of the universe.
unfortunately, big bird’s got lice. huge lice.
fortunately norinew has a large bottle of Lice-b-Gone™ and a mega-wetter™
Unfortunately, the lice are resistant to even norinew’s defenses, and they’re eyeing our group with hungry menace.
Fortunately, as the group is pondering whether to abandon Roc, the bird makes its quantum jump, and the merry band tumble off it… where? Well, it has a mild climate, soft breezes, tame-looking woods dotted here and there amid sweet meadows. As the Roc quantums off to another dimension (taking its huge lice with it), the group settle down for a quick nap before figuring out their next move.
unfortunately, the group failed to post a watch and they’re ambushed by 3 large rats! they lose initiative and the rats get a free bite out of everyone.
Fortunately, they decide that our group tastes terrible, so they wander away into some trees.
Unfortunately, when norinew reaches into her backpack for bandages, she finds instead only handkerchiefs! Can the ever-ready rucksack be – GASP! – running out?
No because fortunately norinew finds a large roll of bandages tucked right at the bottom of the backpack. Phew…
Unfortunately, there is also other evil stuff lying at the bottom of norinew’s backpack, and suddenly, ETF is sucked into norinew’s backpack, never too be seen again!
Fortunately, in this land, “never” is defined as “one minute, 18.9 seconds”. After precisely one never, ETF is expelled from the backpack by the mysterious evil thing.
Unfortunately, the evil thing has been whispering directions to another treasure in ETF’s ears while she was trapped with it. The tri-cat tells the group about the Gold of the Grudging Gopher King, that lies waiting to be found in the Land of Shallow Rivers, not realizing that removing the treasure from its hiding place will release the evil thing from its bondage in norinew’s backpack, where it’s been enchanted into producing any and all required items.
Fortunately, the merry band laugh the story to scorn.
Unfortunately, ETF produces a godl coiin to prove her story, and suddenly the group beomce convinced. They study the directions and realize that the Land of Shallow Rivers is on the other side of a range of gentle hills to the north.
Fortunately (although, ironically, it seems Unfortunate to the group, because they don’t know the whole truth), there is a strange magnetic field blocking their passage toward the North. Could be Divine Intervention, could be just luck, depending on whether or not your a theist.
Or depending on whether or not you’re a theist.
Unfortunately, the group are able to pass through the magnetic field unharmed, it just leaves a few of their hairs standing on end. (Is that fortunate or unfortunate?)
Fortunately, several of the travelers like the punk look, so hair standing on end suits them just fine.
Unfortunately, others don’t like the look, and find the hairs standing on end as annoying as hell.