I give up :smack:
Fortunately, Diceman’s second simulpost is ignored by the travelers, especially since the dwarvish giants have eaten all the Inquisitors up.
Diceman? Hey, c’mon – it’s okay. You go ahead. I promise not to simulpost on you again. PROMISE!
Unfortunately, Diceman has a headache from smacking himself 
Fortunately, the pixies give him some aspirin, and then they show our group to some guest rooms where they can spend the evening.
Unfortunately, the other travelers are afraid to post for fear of catching this great Simulpost Illness that seems to be going around.
Fortunately, RCRacer explains that it’s not really simulposts. In reality, the band of friends is in a place where the fabric twixt two parallel universes is alarmingly thin, thereby explaining the varying perceptions.
Unfortunately, BigDaiv and ETF have now wandered into the parallel universe. However shall we get them back?!?
Fortunately, **ETF[/]b is still about, wondering when she’ll get to drive again.
Unfortunately, she has no idea where BigDaiv is.
Fortunately, that doesn’t stop her from seizing control once again when the travelers awake, refreshed, from their night in the pixies’ quaint little house. The group feast on a huge, scrumptious breakfast, then ask the head pixie how to find the Treasure of the Sierra Padre, which is, after all, what they set out to find way back when.
Unfortunately, the head pixie has no idea of how to get there. But she has heard rumors that there is a valley of wonders and strange delights to the north.
Fortunately, norinew has, in her backpack, an easy-to-understand book on vB coding, which she lends to ETF.
Unfortunately, the Sierra Padre is miles and miles away from here.
Fortunately, BigDaiv and ETF have returned from the alternate dimension with a brand new Hummer H2.
Unfortunately, ETF is driving 
Fortunately, the brand new Hummer H2 from the alternate dimension doesn’t need to be driven by anyone. With its futuristic technology, it scans all f its surroundings within a 10000 mile radius and identifies every landmark, town, city etc. Therefore, all that ETF needs to do is type into the input system
“Location of Treasure of the Sierra Padre,” which even ETF is capable f doing (no offence), and the Hummer H2 from the alternate dimension will instantly take you there. Isn’t technology amazing?
Unfortunately, the Hummer H2 is out of power (Isn’t technology amazing?). And the only power source that can start the Hummer H2 is in the alternate dimension.
Fortunately, after a frantic Paper, Scissors, Stone tournament, RCracer and BigDaiv are forced to enter the alternate dimension and locate the power supply.
Unfortunately, the gateway to the normal dimension disappears the moment RCracer and BigDaiv enter the alternate dimension. And so they are forever stuck in an alternate dimension, they have no idea where the power supply is, and the rest of the gang will be left waiting for RCracer and BigDaiv forever…
Fortunately, “forever” in the alternative universe lasts about three and a half hours – it just seems longer. RCracer and BigDaiv reappear among the group.
Unfortunately, they never did find the Hummer’s power supply. The group now knows the way to the Treasure of the Sierrra Padre, but has no transportation.
Fortunately, there are some horses at the pixies’ house. The merry band are not so merry about riding again, but ETF points out that if she takes the first horse, and the other horses follow behind on lead ropes, she can keep things under control. They won’t be fleeing the Spanish Inquisition, after all, so they won’t have to go very fast.
Unfortunately, the first horse goes mental the moment ETF mounts it, flinging ETF into a pile of smelly manure, causing the other horses to also go mental, leaving the majority of the gang with cuts, bruises and horse shit all over them.
Fortunately, one of the mental runaway horses leaves behind a lucky mystical horse-shoe, which will do whatever it is told to do. So first, ETF relieves the gang f their cuts and bruises and horse shit, then manages to make the Treasure of the Sierra Padre magically appear, HOORAY!
Unfortunately, the Treasure of the Sierra Padre consists of gold ingots. Large gold ingots. Each of which weighs 250 pounds. And the group still has no vehicle.
Fortunately, ETF uses the lucky mystical horseshoe to conjure up a U-Haul big enough for everyone to sit in, and put all the gold into, too.
Unfortunately, the lucky horseshoe only grants three wishes, so it immediately dissapears after it conjures up a U-Haul.
But fortunately, the gang finally has the Treasure of the Sierra Padre, and so they make their way home along with the treasure.
Unfortunately, ETF is driving. And so, before you know it, the U-Haul is on two wheels, up in the air, spinning randomly before finally ending up crumpled around an oak tree, which them falls on top of the U-Haul splitting it into two. Now that’s good driving.
Even worse, the Treasure of the Sierra Padre gets flung out of the U-Haul and ends up in quicksand. The gang have 10 seconds before the Treasure of the Sierra Padre gets sucked down and lost forever…
Fortunately, in norinew’s backpack can be found a special watch that can stop time for up to an hour.
Unfortunately, it’s not functioning quite properly, and will only allow them an extra 3 minutes.
Fortunately, that’s enough time for ETF (under threat of death from the rest of the group :D) to frantically dig a channel at the downgradient end of the quicksand patch. The water drains out and the quicksand becomes mere harmless sand.
Unfortunately, the gold bars are still stuck in it, half-buried, and there’s still no vehicle in sight.
Fortunately, norinew’s backpack yields several shovels, and the group soon has the gold dug out. Meanwhile, ETF has wandered off from the busily excavating group (“Hey, I did my digging already!”) to take a nap under a nearby tree. Just as she’s getting settled comfortably out of the hot sun, she spies a large van rolling along toward them.
Unfortunately, the spies in the large van spray the gang with concentrated sleeping gas, sending them all into the land of nod. Who knows where they will wake up?
fortunately the wake up in the land of nod where everything is soft and nice
Unfortunately they wake up again from the land of nod, and they realise they have all been strapped down onto the mad scientists/spies’ experimentation boards to be horribly experimented on.
Fortunately, the mad scientists are obsessed with vegetables, and the group are forced to eat overcooked broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, and (shudder) Brussels sprouts before being released. Everyone emerges unharmed physically (except for some gas) and mentally (except for Diceman, who screamed uncontrollably at the Brussels sprouts).
Unfortunately, they emerge without the Treasure of the Sierra Padre, and find themselves outside the sandstone castle of the Mad Scientists Amalgamated Union Local 666, in the midst of a busy, yet eerily silent city. The architecture is subtly wrong-looking, and everyone who passes is wrapped anonymously in somber robes. The few vehicles that pass all have darkened windows.