Rule 68: All Applebaiters spending 4 minutes or more in the Poultry Box, forfeit their Purple Shirts, and must proceed to the nearest Snarfing Station and perform the Ritual Oblation as prescribed on page 65-D of IRS Form 1257q/76.
Rule 69: Perform Rule 69 with an applebaiter of your choice. Applebaiters may decline Rule 69 performance, but must spend 5 minutes in the Poultry Box with Ilsa Lund.
Rule 70: Contumacious behaviour is proscribed.
Rule 71: Ilsa gets to choose who he spends five minutes in the poultry box with.
Rule 72: Further use or mention of 1920’s style “Death Rays” is hereby prohibited.
Rule 73: The first person to bring with them a giant hedge-hog named “Spiny Norman” shall be awarded 45 points or the blue blazer, unless they are a member of the applebaiters in which case who cares.
Rule 74: In the event that the board runs for 24 consecutive hours without either a failure or a slowdown, all admins shall be awarded aleph-one points, and all members in Chicago are sentenced to death by hanging.
Rule 75: The official flag shall have proportions of 3:5, sinister hoist, and consist of a paisley of medium gray and blue on white.
Rule 76: I prefer puce for the flag, and Rule 76 says that Ilsa has Papal Infallbility.
** Rule 77: ** Regardless of any rules preceeding or following this rule, including but not limited to those rules exercising authority to recind or otherwise nullify this rule, Fuji Kitakyusho shall win the game, irrespective of the actions taken, and direct or indirect result or inevitable conclusion(s) of gameplay, and irrespective of whether Fuji Kitakyusho has acted within the restrictions imposed by all stated rules.
Ha!
Rule 78: If in said title of chapter 46 of the preceding post Rule 77 is taken to be self referential to one Fuji Kitakyusho, Rule 77 can be said to be null and void and the originating poster must spend 20 minutes in the poultry box sans Ilsa and must rescind applebaiting privileges.
Rule 79: Any rule that explicitly states that a specific player (or players) shall win the game, shall be implemented as follows: The player (or players) shall be awarded a random number of points between aleph-one and aleph-two, upon eir (or their) submission of an acceptable methodology for generating random numbers in a range where the boundaries are different orders of infinity. Winning the game shall be announced upon peer review and acceptance of said methodology.
(How do I code a Hebrew letter on this board?)
Rule 80: All attempts to code hebrew letters, or to award points between the alephs results in suspension of purple shirts and a penalty of 20 minutes in the poultry box.
Rule 81: Any player who is found to have been born in two non-consecutive months shall be declared to be highly improbable and prohibited from further play.
** Rule 82: ** If you are illiterate, do not read any further.
I should point out here that aleph-zero, aleph-one, and aleph-two are mathematical terms for the known orders of infinity, where aleph-zero is the “countable” infinity of rational numbers. Last I checked, mathematicians had not yet defined aleph-three.
This math fact of the day is brought to you by the number pi, and I don’t know how to code Greek letters either.
Back to the game.
Rule 83:A player penalized for 40 consecutive or 60 total minutes in the poultry box has to clean it out while they’re in there.
Rule 84: Any rule making reference to George Orwell shall be considered to be overly pretentious and likely to be gossiped about by the other rules.
Rule 85: Any player who does not enter the Poultry Box as stipulated by Rules 101, 102, 83, Q, 15, 80, 69, 78, 130b (subsection ii), or (under Standard Czech rules, but with Left-side Polarity Inversion) Rule 91, shall be declared “Chicken”. Players declared “Chicken” forfeit all Purple priveleges, are barred from the Illudium square for three (III) play periods, and must use only brass grommetry.
Rule 86: Any player found to be using brass grommetry in the Illudium square must clean the poultry box and don a purple shirt, thus associating him with the applebaiters.
Rule 87: Play shall not extend for more than 67 rounds, except in tournament play. This means that in the Inverse Czech scoring sytem, a negative two can be taken in exchange for your score raised to Aleph1 P Aleph2(6^8!).
Rule 88: This rule only applies to rules that haven’t been written yet.
Rule 89: Anyone with a herring must attempt to cut a tree down with it, and, if any of them succeed, they receive 50 points, unless a member of Monty Python is in the vicinity, in which case it goes down to 25, unless said member of the cast is hit by the tree as it falls, in which case you score 50^2, but not on Tuesday.
Rule 90: Pop-cans are valid.
Rule 91: All weasels must be processed before introduction to the gameboard. Failure to do so shall attract the standard penalties.
Rule 92: Herring are valid unless otherwise posted, or unless the Referee declares avant fait.
Rule 93: Under no circumstances shall game herrings be red.
Rule 94: Under no circumstances shall game herrings be read, unless they have accidentally dropped onto a printing press.
Rule 95: Game herrings may be purchased from your local grocery score, but not the discount club.
Rule 96: The point value of a game herring shall be inversely proportional to its price per pound unless the herring was a gift in which case the points shall be elevated to the plane of Flame.