The Get-Out-Of-This-Rut support group!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am in such a horrible rut lately. In one of my classes, I haven’t done a single assignment in about 5 weeks. My special studies project I have barely started on. I’m starting to get to the point where if I even think about how far behind I am I start to panic.

The problem is, I can’t seem to get myself motivated to get moving on all this work I have to do. With the time change, my seasonal depression is starting to kick in and if that happens, forget getting anything done.

I’m in my senior year, on the verge of finally getting that degree. I don’t want to screw this up when I’m so close to getting there. I’m going to go talk to my profs and talk to them about what’s been going on and see what can be done to salvage the overdue work. I’m also going to make an appointment with the school psychiatrist about maybe going back on antidepressants.

However, I still need to figure out what it is going to take for me to kick myself back into gear.

Anyone else in a rut? Share your story here. Let’s band together and help each other get moving again! Anyone who has been in this situation and gotten out of it is encouraged to share what worked for you. Simple messages of encouragement are, of course, also very welcome.

2

I went through a semi-breakdown during my junior year of college. I was planning an independent study trip to Greece, taking a lot of classes, plus spending Saturdays in all-day meetings for the study trip. At one point, I broke down and went to one of my professors and told him I thought I was going to have to drop the class since I was just so stressed out and losing my mind. He was incredibly nice - told me to take as long as I needed to get the homework in, and I could re-take as many of the exams as I wanted. In short, he really calmed me down and helped me out. You may want to talk to your profs - you’re not the first stressed student they’ve dealt with. What initially may seem like a horrible encounter may actually end up taking some of the stress off of you.

Another good idea is to start thinking about the worst case scenario. I find that once I let go of the fear of the worst case scenario, things tend to look up. Let’s say you drop out of school altogether, and put off getting your degree for a year. Big deal. I’d guess about half the population do this. I’m assuming you’re young - a year spent working rather than going to school might actually benefit you. I’m not suggesting you go this route (unless you think about it and really want to) but realizing that it’s not that big of a deal can sometimes help motivate you.

3

Geo: I can only echo what Athena said. Talk to your professors, you’ll probably find they’re very understanding. I transferred to a different college my junior year, ended up totally broke and starving, got really sick, had a nervous breakdown, and dropped out. I went back the next year, and wasn’t ready. I had the same problem–didn’t want to do anything, couldn’t motivate myself. I realized what was happening, and talked to my professors, and they were so understanding. I ended up getting back on track by realizing that I had to, or else all that money and time I’d spent on school was a total waste.

I have to tell you though; please try to enjoy your time in college. I know it’s hard to see the forest for the trees and you’re stressed beyond belief, I’ve been there too. My senior year could not have been any longer; if I had to go to one more class I think I would have quit. I was so relieved to graduate. But now that I’ve been out a bit (almost 2 years) I’m beginning to really miss being in school. So there’s hope for you yet!

Talk to Health Services, too. They usually have counselors that can help. Even if they don’t mentally help you, it helps to have seen them–it “backs up” your story with your professors, sort of.

Hang in there. I don’t envy you at all, but you’ll make it, I’m sure!

4

Hmmm…am I the only one currently in a rut? Not that I don’t appreciate the “been there” stories; I was just hoping there were others there now so we could commiserate. Y’know, so I don’t feel like a total loser. :wink: But pats on the back are still welcome…

About talking to the profs, I’ve done it in the past, so I know it’s a good idea and that they are usually understanding. I’ve had a long battle with depression, so this is not the first time I’ve been faced with having to do this. It just sucks having to go through it all over again. I had such a great summer, I had hoped that the blues would hold off this year, but no such luck.

BTW, for those who are not aware, I am a “non-traditional” student–I’m 36. So this is not just a case of typical college/growing up angst. Though I do feel like a preschooler sometimes–“Waahhh! I don’t WANNA!”

5

Geobabe, I can commiserate. I’m experiencing a very similar rut at work. At times, I find the idea of composing a few emails overwhelming, though usually it’s less severe then that. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just acting this way so everything will fall apart. Sort of a forced catharsis. I reckon I’ll find out in time. But nope, you’re not alone in your current situation.

6

Well when it comes to ruts, I’m in the Grand fricken Canyon.

Let’s see. Two 10 page papers due in November. No biggie really, except for the fact that I haven’t done one page of research, and when I went to the library to get books, they were all gone. Joy of joys.

And to add to this I just found out I have three midterms next week. Oh goody. So, am I studying? Heck no. I’m on the SDMB. Am I running the serious risk of failing one of those classes? Yup. Is this motivating me? Nope again.

It’s depressing really. But this will be done eventually. The secret is not to lose perspective. If you fail one test, or forget to do an assignment, it’s not going to affect your grade too severely.

I hope.

Dang, now I’m depressed.

All I can say is hang in there, it will get better. It has to get better. Oh please god let it get better.

7

Once again, I’m checking the board instead of doing the homework that is due in about an hour. Let’s hope the saying about it being darkest just before the dawn is true.

8

i was there 2 semesters ago, except i didn’t care, well at some point i did, i withdrew from a class so i wouldn’t fail it but needless to say i did nothing and no matter how hard i tried i couldn’t get anything done or get anything into my head. i simply let everything go needless to say my grades were not very impressive and my parent’s were not very happy, what cured me somewhat was a nice long summer. getting out of that rut is very hard and it took me quite awhile i’m still not completely cured. i still FORCE myself to do my homework. talking to your professors is a great idea! and talking to someone about how you feel is a good thing to because it helps you sort yourself out :slight_smile: i know this is going to sound corny, but hang in there. it’ll work itself out.

9

I dropped my art class because I wanted the extra night to do homework. Understand that I am on a foundation grant, and I didn’t clear it with the foundation before withdrawing because I realised at the last moment that the withdrawl date was the following day. So if they ask for my grades before funding me next semester, I’m screwed.

My “best” friend has stopped returning my phone calls. Not for any reason, most likely because she doesn’t need me to get her through a crisis. I’m beginning to realise that she only uses me for support when she needs it, but when I leave messages on her machine saying “I NEED to talk to you. Call me.” She doesn’t return them.

It’s getting to be winter, and I see every friend I have either hooking up or in sucessful relationships.

My apartment and car are horrible messes. I just can’t get it together enough to clean them.

My paycheck I got yesterday is already half spent. I have yet to buy any food. I get paid every two weeks. I have bill collectors who can claim the rest of the paycheck. I am STILL waiting for $500 from my insurance company, which was due to me two months ago.

It’s quite likely I failed two exams this week. I neglected to watch the required viewing for my film class this week. We will most likely have a quiz tomorrow morning on it. I will fail that.

For some reason I have been having this overwhelming urge to start smoking. I know that if I did that, with my addictive personality and oral fixation, I would never stop.

I think I need to go back on antidepressants. But the painful process of trying out the various ones is almost more exhausting then actually being depressed.

So, yea. I’m in a rut.

10

I have a championship-level rut going on. I got laid off from my job of 14+ years, effective more than a month ago. So far I have not been able to get out of my rut to even get a resume assembled, let alone actually look for a job. I got books from the library, even borrowed some resume software, but somehow I have this paralyzing inability to DO IT. Every day I fight a vague panicky feeling and put it off again, hiding out quietly at home. Fear of failure? I suppose so, perhaps. But you’d think fear of homelessness would be a stronger motivator. So far, sadly, it hasn’t been. I’m known as a great and energetic motivator for other people - you’d think I could do it for myself, right?

It’s not as if working is optional, or something I’m doing for “personal fulfillment”. In two months my severance pay will run out, and that means, quite simply, no more money! My laughable “savings” wouldn’t even cover the bills for a month. This is not a matter of “I’m not living up to my potential”; it’s a matter of survival. I tell myself that I’d work three shifts in a convenience store if I had to in order to keep from losing my beloved home. Pathetically, if I don’t get a resume built and get my butt out there looking, I may end up doing just that. I guarantee you that I don’t WANT to work in a convenience store. BTW, my work background is in computers, so it’s not as if I’m looking for a job as a mimeograph machine repairman.

So why can’t I get myself to put together the damn resume and start looking?

<cygnus notices that, once again, this is the SDMB, not the resume software>

I’ll certainly check back here later in the hope of inspriation.

:: wandering off, still vaguely depressed, to see if there’s any beer in the fridge ::

11

I’m in a rut. I am going to school part time right now to get my technician certification. Next semester I am going to try to go a little more than half time. But my grades aren’t near as good as they could be, because I am too apathetic to apply myself. Getting certified will allow me to earn more money, but I don’t even know if I want to be a tech for the rest of my life. Even getting the money of a certified tech won’t be enough to keep me afloat. But I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. So I’m kinda stuck there.

I have been in a relationship rut for longer than I care to think about. I don’t think I could meet a man if I were the last woman left on earth.

I want very much to move on with my life–meet a man, get married, advance my career…and none of it is happening and I’m not getting any younger. ::sigh::

Now I’m depressed.

12

I have no good advice. I’m just now sorta dusting myself off from crawling out of my own rut, and I remember that I pretty much considered free advice during that time as worth what I paid for it. That having been said, I feel you, brothers and sisters. I wish there were something I could do, but for now, for what it’s worth, there’s a kid in Connecticut silently rooting for every last one of you.

13

Thanks to everyone who posted; sometimes, just knowing there are others out there with the same problem can be very helpful. I was feeling so depressed the last few days–being in New England, I’m way farther north than I’m used to, and the “winter blues” kick in immediately after the time change. It sucks.

I’m feeling a little better today; the sun was out all day, and that helped a lot. I also got a tiny bit accomplished, which is more than I’ve been doing lately.

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist in 2 weeks (!–her schedule is very incompatible with my class sched). In the meantime, I have some meds left over from my last prescription which will last until then–I guess one benefit of having to wait so long for the appointment is I’ll know by then whether it’s working or if I should try a different medication.

14

I’m slowly crawling out of my ruts, but they are so deep it’s taking longer than I thought to get to the top.

I don’t know how I ever graduated from college in the first place. I hardly ever went to class and rarely did homework. I ended up dropping out of grad school 4 years ago due to stress (working full time and taking 14 hours of grad classes) and a strong dislike for the politics behind the profession for which I was studying (teaching). During those years of college & grad school, I managed to amass an incredible amount of debt. I also drank too much and let an alcoholic (at one time) and a convicted felon on probation (another time) sponge off of me. Like I had any business supporting these men, sheesh! It’s not rocket science to deduce that my personal life was a mess then. Add to that the fact that I was horribly overweight and not taking care of myself.

What changed everything? How did I even start to climb out of the abyss in which I lived? My son was born almost a year ago. I started cleaning up my lifestyle when I learned I was pregnant: I quit drinking, started eating healthy, took an antidepressant so I could take care of myself, went to counseling, kicked my son’s (verbally abusive) father out of my apartment. After my son was born I quit taking the antidepressant, moved home, got a decent job with excellent benefits, took care of the legal stuff between my son and his father, started paying off some of my debt. I did really well for about six months. Then my emotional health started to deteriorate again (ahh depression) - and as a result so did my physical health. But this time I was wise enough to recognize that I needed the kick in the pants that an antidepressant would give me. So I’m back on the drug and paying off more of the massive debt, working out at the gym and swimming again (not that I look great in a bathing suit, but I look better than I did a 6 months ago), eating healthy, and I am more motivated at work some days.

I have a long way to go, but I’ve made progress. I try to concentrate on the progress I have made rather than the overwhelming taks ahead of me. I tackle my tasks one at a time now, rather than trying to do it all at once. I try to look at my life now as a chance to start over. I have to do well, so my son can have a good life. (I am his sole provider.)

I’m not saying that drugs are the answer for everyone, but if you have been on an antidepressant in the past and it helped, by all means get back on it again to get you going again. If I had really talked to my profs about what was going on with me in college, it might have been so much easier and I might have been coaxed into seeing the school shrink sooner.

Make sure to make time for one activity that you enjoy everyday that relieves stress and makes you feel good about yourself. I swim now. The water totally relaxes me and I can leave my problems behind for that time. A friend of mine does volunteer work. Pick something that works for you. (And if I can find time to swim with my daily 2 hour commute and an almost one year old baby, you can find time to unwind too.)

Good luck. Before long you will be thinking, “rut? what rut?”.

15

See your bet. Raise ten.

(Except reverse the gender situation.)

It’s really pathetic when the only positive spin I can put on my situation is “Oh well, at least I’m saving my money by not having a girlfriend/wife.”, or “Gee, at least I don’t have to worry if I’m impotent.” :confused: