Rectal Prolapse, anyone?
Not on a regular basis - but the thought still haunts me from a long, long time ago.
In fact, what is worse is getting a big gas explosion while pushing, triggering that fear that you have pushed too far, and the instinctive reaction clamps that sphincter tight so damn fast it hurts.
And you can’t finish what you started, either. :smack:
Si
Ooh! Ooh! Not too long ago, a course of antibiotics went horribly wrong and the bacterial equivalent of Mongol Hordes kicked the asses of my beneficial intestinal flora.
For longer than I care to think about, there was no pooping for me. Instead, every thirty minutes or so I had to run to the bowl to expel some horrible and perfectly clear slime that smelled exactly like fish fertilizer.
Honestly, if I had lived my entire life without ever learning that there was something several orders of magnitude nastier than every-day feces that might come out of your ass, I’d be totally fine with that.
See, in the civilized world, we don’t have so much water in the bowl, so for most people, this is not a problem.
I, on the other hand, do have to keep my junk out of the water, *when I stand to urinate… * 
Si
Never read that book. But I seriously doubt fiction could compare with the grossness that can exist in reality (as exemplified by that picture).
It must be sad, to have legs so short. 
You’ve obviously never met me.
With that encouragement … read away!
The picture depicted an unforunate man with a severe case of whipworm infestation. This had caused his rectum and what appeared to be a goodly length of gut to prolapse (or potrude of be excreted) along with a good-sized turd into the toilet bowl. You could see that the man was kneeling in front of the toilet, with what looked like half his guts in the toilet. The guts were covered with loads of maggot-like worms which had burrowed into the gut lining. The worst part was that the guy could obviously see this - I can’t even imagine how revolting and frightening that would be.
That has got to win the prize for “the grossest thing that can happen while pooping”.
This isn’t the grossest thing to happen to me, by a long shot, but it’s very annoying. Sometimes when I sit down, my gheeks are spread way farther apart than usual. I then fart instead of poop, and the farts HURT! Usually, my farts feel good, but in this situation, I actually yelp a little and have to adjust my posish.
Joe
Oooohh. That’s never happened to me, but I admit, that is much worse.
I think Malthus gets the prize, but I’ve got a good one.
[spoiler]I suffered really painful constipation and the turds would only come part way out, so I had to reach back and …urk…pick the shit apart to get it out. Caused myself a little bleeding too, but not bad. Painful for a few days though until my rectum healed completely.
And it took several washes to get my finger to stop stinking.[/spoiler]
Yeah, Malthus, I think that could possibly be the most horrifying thing to have happen. Thankfully it loses much of its shock value by hearing it second hand with no photos.
Reminds me of a true story I read about 3 guys adrift on a capsized trimaran. They took shelter in one of the pontoons and drifted for like 50 days. Thay had constipation and had to assist each other in that manner.
My sister once complained that she had to seek relief from very bad constipation with a spoon.
I was so stunned, I never did ask her what she did with the spoon afterwards.
I am SO glad I do not suffer from constipation. :eek:
Heck, if it gets washed in hot water three or four times what’s the big deal?
I’m not going to add anything but I would like to thank those of you kind enough to use spoiler boxes .
I don’t care if it’s lab-sterile; if it’s been in my sister’s ass, I prefer to keep it out of my mouth.
I haven’t done a manual relief of constipation in any fashion, but I’ve heard that constipated women can sometimes find some relief by pushing with a finger through the vaginal wall towards the rectum, allowing them to try to work some of it out from “behind”/the side, and perhaps break it up to some extent.
And yes, for the two-ended projectile sickness, get a solid plastic trashcan for the bathroom, preferably without any interior seams for easy later cleanup. (In my bathroom the sink is close enough to be used in a pinch.) Don’t do a “double decker” by turning around on the bowl, pulling the lid off the tank, and puking in there - you’ll have to clean that out afterwards, which will be much worse than cleaning puke off the floor.
Well, I obviously cannot win this thread, but one time I had a stomach virus of some sort. I always thought projectile vomiting was a myth, but it ain’t. So, I’m horking all over my ex-boyfriend’s bathroom whenI realized it was coming from both ends. In a panic, I sat on the toilet, but I still had to heave-ho. So, I leaned forward and puked in my underwear.In retrospect, the sink was right next to the toilet as well as a garbage can, but you don’t think so straight in moments like that. I will, however, be more prepared in the future.
Probably not the worst but it still gives me twinges of pain thinking about it. Taking a dump that was extremely stiff, felt like a broom stick coming out. Give a good push and and something gave causing excrutiating pain. Finally finish and notice much blood on the TP. 15 minutes later, have to change undies and pants, blood has soaked through. 2 hours later I’m spreading my cheeks in a hospital ER because the bleeding has not stopped. I am opened up like goatse without the benefit of an anesthetic Doc finds what he calls an open fissure of about 50 cm. After some tissue removal and 16 stitches, I am sent on my way.