The Haggle

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Welcome to the Haggle!

I have taken the liberty of securing a little hideaway for The Hags of the Straight Dope. We’ve all been working so hard in the original thread. I think we need a place to have a vacation!

So, here it is. Do you like it? Let me show you around:

The bar is on the left. Cafe on the right. If you go through here, you will find the pool and the volleyball court. And past the pool deck is the beach. There is plenty more to do here, but I’ll let you explore…

I’ll get this Haggle started.

::Walks out the the front of the building and switches on the neon OPEN sign::

2

Umm Beany girl? where’s the entertainment?

3

:Tip-toeing into the boy’s auxillary room…:

4

Ooooh I take that back… very cool that you hired the men of SD to serve us… love those uniforms, they definitely wont be getting any tanlines with those :wink:

5

I must delegate…

Music Director!
Dance Coach!
Cocktail Waitress!
Chef!
Masseur!
Locker Room Attendant!
Cabana Boy!
Psychic!
Bearted Lady!

Come here. We need you!

6

What I’d really like is a wingback chair by the fireplace with some hot cocoa and access to a good libr-

Hey, you read my mind! Thanks, Green Bean.

7

I nominate WeirdDave as head Masseur…lather up!

8

::heading for the bar::

ten a.m. and it feels like I’ve already been at work for hours… It’s gonna be a very long day. I shall be here as frquently as possible.

Where’s that masseur?

9

::following Katt to the bar::

After the morning I’ve had… I need a vodka & 7!! I locked my keys in the house this morning and had to call the realtor to bring me the spare key. Thank goodness my kids were in the car along with my Dr. Pepper and cigarettes!

Are there any peanuts?

10

Our money lady (financial liason) quit today, giving our manager a week and a half notice. This does not bode well.

::staggers over to the wingbacks:: hey, phouka, this chair taken? I need a good trashy mystery novel and I need it NOW.::

I’m in line for a back massage. I swear there’s a golf ball lodged underneath my left shoulder blade.

11

::hands an ice cold vodka and 7 to Rachelle::

::pours herself a vodka and cranberry::

Hey, wait a minute, where’s the bartender?? :slight_smile:

12

Green Bean,
What a great Idea to put the Hot tub on the lanai overlooking the beach! And those binoculars you provided work great! I can see the boy’s from the auxiliary out on the beach doing their morning exercises! Cute uniforms!!!
By the way the sound system is great!
:::A Fine looking young man from auxilary appears with my mourning cup of coffee::: I’m not telling who but he gives a great foot massage I guess I will go work [sigh now rub the left foot…ahhh] on todays music selections, and book some live entertainment for this weekend…

13

Ringing the bell for another round of drinks…

14

Oh! I’d make a great cabana boy! Really, I would.

::shuffling through underwear drawers::

:wink:

15

Bailey’s and coffee? Why, I’d love one! Thank you so much. Now where’d I put my scuba equipment?

Ohh, Democritus! Walk me out to the beach?

16

Cocktail waitress to the rescue! My feet hurt from serving all morning…Calredic? Foot massage, sweetie?

Thanks soooo much!

Anybody want a drink? Calredic will take care of it, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear if you tip him well enough! :slight_smile:

17

That’s it, I am going back into the bar to hide. If the help desk staff come looking for me to solve another network problem, tell them I’m not here. Never was. Never had been. Never heard of me. Who?

This day is in a downward spiral. I need another drink.

HEEEELLLLPPPPPP!

I thank you all for allowing me to vent.

18

Ugh. My day is going downhill fast, too.

You know what would really cheer me up? A zydeco ban…Hey! Buckwheat just walked in! I may not be Omniscient, but at the Haggle, I’m omnipotent! Cool.

I’d like a seltzer and cranberry juice with a lime in it. Thanks!

I feel better already.

19

WHAT? You dislike zydeco music to the extent that you call for a BAN?

That’s it. You’re not my friend any more.

20

Bwhahahaha! I sure didn’t mean it that way!

Hey Uke, wanna go to the Crawfish Fest? I’m gonna go this year, and I’d bet a lot of the NY/NJ dopers would enjoy it, too.