We paid beaucoup bucks
Automation will not work
Like we need it to.
Tech support is dumb
Mistakes on air are plenty
Work, goddammit, work!
Dressing up your haiku
With old Conan catchphrases?
You are no Pimpbot.
I laugh at your threats
Long winters will leave you weak
And pastier still.
Being P.O.A
My elderly grandparent
More work than you think
Fuck you, New York Bank
Countless hoops I’m jumping through
Just to change address
With each document
Medalion Sig Guarantee
Damned pain in the ass
Dad, you’re in heaven
You don’t have to deal with this
I curse your cremains
I know you’re watching
See? You raised a good daughter
Good granddaughter, too
Granny, I love you
This is why I work so hard
Please stop complaining
Your nurse call button
Not a microphone, ok?
Quit speaking to it
After all of this
Best advice to everyone:
Die before mind goes
And lastly, I hope
Karma points shower on me
Cancel some bad luck
But seriously,
I reap rewards in form of
Sharing her last years
Ahhh. Very cathartic.
Stupid summer storm.
I go out to bring in chairs –
Heavens open up.
Why does every rush
transcript have a witness with
thick Chinese accent?
Clogging the servers
Your pictures of Christmas fun
Delete them now please
Three point seven gig
Your home directory files
Weed them or I will
Silly users all
Think I don’t read their email
Send to: CEO
Giraffe understands
the traditional haiku.
John has a new friend!
My car needs new brakes
Cost? Over two hundred bucks
I can’t afford it
Summer is too hot
Can’t wait for fall and winter
I’m tired of sweating
Gas prices are high
Near three dollars a gallon
When will they go down?
Dammit, Fred! Will you
Stop threatening Sophie? She’s
Growling again, jerk!
Ha! The biter bit
Sally comes round the corner
Sinks fangs in Fred’s neck.
Fred retreats to perch
Atop the bookcase. Folly.
Sally jumps up too.
Hey, you two – stop it!
I’m trying to work here, and
Don’t need distractions.
What did you expect?
Instructions are not like fall leaves,
To be swept aside.
Login time is down
Must start early to make up
Fuck! An hour early.
Summer turns to fall
Great time to begin new job
CALL, motherfuckers!
Clean Flush is purchased
Whiz quiz studying begun
Call NOW, stupid jerks!
Do not delay more
Happiness is a warm gun
Like leaves you will fall.
Hold on a moment,
two weeks off in August is
pretty cool–I’ll chill!
Haiku sucks bigtime
Limericks is better form
Major league Assholes!
Haiku rants you want?
Too few syllables to rant
I’ll just say ‘fuck you’
No more Deadwood now;
Fuck HBO cocksuckers.
Sopranos reruns.
I am no pimpbot?
Sure as winter fades to spring,
Shit be on, spotty.
Giraffes are spotty.
I needed two syllables.
Shut up. Um, summer.
Things start to look up
I am logged into my phone
Five minutes 'twixt calls
WTF, Exy?
“Giraffe” has two syllables.
Your brain been spring-cleaned?
:dubious:
I swear, this drear morn
I counted each syllable
Using my fingers
Although I forgot
The reference to nature
As vital as rain.
Little yellow friend
Bites me with vicious sharp beak
I will squash you, bird!
Wireless portal down
The bits refuse to fly, so
Offline I am now