My cats breath smells like cat food
Hey, anyone have interesting plans for the holiday weekend?
White man speak with forked penis…
My sister and her friends forked someone’s yard last night.
I really must pay someone to spruce up the yard this weekend and put in new flowers. What’s the best fall flower to withstand Texas heat?
The spruce tree is lovely, yes; but I’m partial to Japanese red maples, myself; those delicate bronze/green leaves on those gracefully draping branches are so elegant!
But the one in my yard grows like a weed and I have to keep pruning it back or it’ll overwhelm my deck.
I find that I don’t fall nearly as much in the fall as I do in the winter. It’s the ice, I think.
I find that I don’t fall nearly as much in the morning as I do in the evening. It’s the beer, I think.
I prefer wine over beer – the falling down phenomenon is still an issue, though.
Three day weekend - Whoo Hoo!!!
I go back to school on Wednesday.
I’m back in the saddle again!
The Strokes are an okay band.
But is a friend a friend?
When you’re in the saddle, stroke your horse – he’s your friend.
If you can’t be with the horse you love, love the horse you’re with.
At the Purdue Large Animal Hospital, there are photos of Laurie (one of the residents) and her horse. The pictures have captions, but not as clever as yours. I think I’ll suggest adding the Steven Stills takeoff you penned.
When I was in junior high school, I dated this girl that had a monstrous overbite for about a week.
Hmm…for clarity, I dated her for about a week, the overbite lasted well into high school.
If sucking your thumb causes an overbite, do…things…a girlfriend might do for you also cause an overbite? 
Not to YOU, so don’t worry!
The only thing that makes me think of is MAD Magazime ™ and Alfred E. Neuman. My brother and I used to love that magaizine…
F_X