I used to work in a movie theater. Every time we got a damaged box of candy, we got to eat it. Those were the days…
mmmmmm junior mints.
I’m eating a Peppermint Pattie right now. Ahh, the sensation.
Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer dropped a Junior Mint into someone during surgery? Man, that was a great show. I stopped watching TV for a few years, and the only reason I’ve started again is so I can watch Seinfeld reruns.
I stopped watching tv circa 1991. What’s a Seinfeld?
Have you ever melted a handful of Jr. Mints in your hand & then shook hands with someone? It’s better than sex.
I used to know a guy named Thomas Mint. He and his wife, Paula, had a son. They named him Thomas, after his daddy, but of course they called him…
…Junior.
That’s right, folks…Junior Mint.
I ummmm…just made that up. But it is kinda funny.
Isn’t it???
Funny you should say that, Dr. When you think about it, there are a lot of things that can be better than sex. Depending, of course, on just how good the sex is. If you’re not having satisfying sex, then a good sneeze can be better than sex.
A friend of mine once asked me what was the worst, rottenest, lousiest sex I had ever had.
I told him:
Fantastic!
Speaking of which, isn’t it fantastic that it’s heading towards summer at last. Actually, for all of you in the northern hemisphere, I’m sorry that you’re facing winter. But at least I’ll get to spend some time on the beach.
And is it just me or is the earth spinning faster today (I’m feeling a little nauseous)?
HenrySpencer
I felt real nauseous today… but it was my fault. I should know better tyhan to eat those Burger King Onion Rings…
Speaking of which…Did you ever wonder about Peppermint Pattie and that Marcie chick?
I think Peppermint Patty and Marcie are gonna be at Anthracite’s wedding…
Now, for a real hijack…
I am not going to “hijack” the precedent post. Why? Because a hijack, by definition, is a deviation from the argumentative line posited by the OP. As such, since all of you have abided by the OP’s stated rules you have not truly hijacked this thread. Since I am not hijacking any of your posts, as the OP requested, I am providing the first and only hijack to grace this fine thread.
Thus I proclaim myself the Absolute Master of the Ancient Art of Hijackism. You can kneel before me, pseudo-hijackers. And while you are at it you can kiss my thread-hijacking, bullshit-talking, fart-vomiting ass.
Hijack sequence complete. You can go back to your pathetic hijack attempts. Carry on dudes!
Hm! Name a guy after a winking star and he thinks he’s hot shit.
There’s no glory in hijacking in the first place, since it’s so easy to do, so I’m afraid – since you couldn’t even follow the rules of hijacking correctly – that you’re actually a lower form of life than any of the other posters in this thread.
But thanks for playing, and you do get a copy of the Hijack This Thread! home game. Let’s have a big round of applause for quasar!
Do you think the people who lose on Jeopardy really want a copy of the Jeopardy home game?
Hey, Da Stiff, I Mean, Da Ace, LOOSEN UP DUDE!
If you didn’t notice, that was a JOKE. The general tone of the post and the smiley following it should have given that fact away. Guess you “ultra-smart” individuals are so far ahead of us mortals that you can not comprehend our crude neurological processes, the ones, for example, that allow us to abstract from serious thought and let the imagination run wild in the form of silly ideas known to the bulk of population as, I don’t know, JOKES!!!
Give a guy a hot sounding name and they get this sort of superstar personality. Got an idea, how about changing your screen name to Ace Ventura: I can’t get a simple joke but I think I’m cool anyway and to prove it I act like a hot ass mother******.
And since I am supposed to hijack your lame ass post: What Tennis player holds the record for most aces in one game?. Hmmm, actually I think that is a username hijack, not a post hijack. Anyhow, it should count anyway.
PD. I suppose that this post can be interpreted as flame intended. It isn’t. I am pretty sure this was the kind of answer that Da Stiff (damn it, I did it again), I mean, Da Ace, wanted (what else can be inferred from his offensive minded post?). So, just to prove to you what a swell guy I am, I am going to send this unedited as a favor to you. You can thank me later. In the pit, perhaps?
Jeopardy home game? Any Jeopardy game without Trebek is improved. How do you get to be a game show host,anyway? Be a really arrogant twit? Anybody think he got beat up a lot in school?
I heard somewhere that sneezes and orgasms were physiologically identical to one another.
So I’ll be over here, enjoying my psychic sneeze.
I wonder what would happen if you sneezed while performing cunnilingus?
Did anyone see Conan last night? Bob Costas did “In the Year 2000” with him and this one was a gem:
“In the year 2000, a college student will smoke his first marijuana cigarette and realize
that ‘Soy Milk’ means ‘I am milk’ in Spanish. He will then proceed to laugh for 6 hours straight.”
That my friends, is so funny…funny because it’s true.
And shaking hands with someone with a handful of melted Jr. Mints is physiologically identical to a good bowel movement.
For best results,
rotate your axioms regularly.
There is so much road rage lately. Wouldn’t it be better to just shake a fist a someone who cuts you off in traffic than to give them half a peace sign?