I re-read this story every week and it’s still butt-clenchingly hillarious.
I’m watching my nephew tonight, so I just called him away from his video game and read the OP to him. He was literally rolling on the floor laughing. I told him I might get him a nice blimp for his birthday next month.
He did clean any dirt and dust off the floor nicely, though. 
I don’t know how I missed this thread but it is a typical gem by Scylla. Helium balloons do catch home air currents and float mysteriously around the house.
I had a birthday balloon travel from one end of my house to the other. I was laying on my bed reading when the balloon silently slipped into my bedroom, did a full circuit of the room gently brushing up against me, before it went on it’s lonely orbit back to whence it came. Fortunately for me, it was daylight and I was awake reading the newspaper when this happened.
Y’all…face it. We are in the presence of greatness, and he is Scylla.
I read this a couple of weeks ago, and screamlaughed. I am usually really selfish when it comes to sharing “my boards” with friends, so I did not send it to anyone.
Looks like I didn’t need to.
Congrats, Scylla…I suppose this is how some stars are born.
Classic. Nicely written. Reader’s Digest would prolly give you $800 for it.
Oh, and I am a gamer. I play quake3 in a clan, and one of my clannies posted this link in our IRC channel. That’s how I found you.
That statement was great in itself!!!
Alright, I’m another one who was drawn here by a post on another forum. Mine came from RatPalace, dedicated to rat lovers mostly… the rats and I had a great huge belly laugh and woke up the husband while reading it (well alright, the rats just stared at me like I was a crazy person for cackling in the middle of the night, but whatever). We, too, have a thread going on this story, which is generating, I’m sure, more hits for Scylla and SDMB.
Scylla, you seriously do need to publish that… it is absolutely hysterical. Your writing is just incredible, I’m in awe of you. I have my first (very) short story being published this month in a lit. journal, so I was even more drawn to come here. Um… and yeah, being a newbie I ralize I risk getting flamed for asking this, but would anyone like to read said story? It’s off-kilter itself and might at least make you smirk (though I lay no claims to it being anywhere near as funny as the blimp story).
So thanks for the tears, Scylla… fan-frigging-tastic.
Oh, and as a most depressing turn - our Zany Brainy closed last week, as they’re all going out of business… and I have a cat that would have overexterted himself to the point of requiring resucitation to recover from chasing a toy like that. sigh
rq
hehe, hey RQ, iv been dragged into joining this fantastic place too
i just wanna say, you guys write fantastically!
I was linked to this thread from a thread I had started and I must say it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen. I checked on Google and this thread is spreading like the plague. Congratulations Syclla!
I’m weak from laughing, Scylla. Thank you, thank you! I so needed this wonderful release.
You really should publish this. It’s as good or better than any professional piece I’ve seen. Good laughter-building as well as tension-building. I’m still chuckling.
If you want this piece forwarded w/ your actual name attributted, please email me at lynnperry@quidnunc.net. Otherwise, please accept my thanks.
furhead:
Are you an agent? Will I get money? Where will you submit it?
Believe it or not, I’ve had a couple of agents email me. I also had a copywriter guy edit it out for me, and even more exciting I’ve recieved an inquiry from a magaizine to publish it!
The magazine is “Aerostat UK” which apparently is the premiere periodical of the blimping world.
Scylla, your genius transcends language.
(Just to give everyone some idea of how far all of this has spread.)
All their blimp are belong to Scylla.
While shopping for a gift in ZB, I saw the blimp repair marked down to a buck.
Part of me wanted to buy and mail it to you, Scylla, in hope of a Blimp Strikes Back thread.
I laughed til I cried. This was linked on a message board from Motley Fool. This needs to be published! And I am looking for one of those blimps…
For anyone still looking, here’s the Interactive Toy Airship Earth. The company also sells other Blimps & Flying Saucers, including a blimp which drops “bombs.”
I feel safe in asking this, considering that those of us familiar with Scylla’s other works can easily recognize his style: I wonder how long it’ll be before someone appears challenging this story’s origins in some way? You know (we see it all the time), someone will come by and swear they saw this on usenet years ago, or that Dave Barry authored it in his newspaper column some time ago…we read these gems and they stay with us, but sometimes our memories don’t preserve them perfectly.
The traditional remedy for this is the best. Scylla published here, first, and there’s plenty of people known for their meticulous research skills here to vouch for him. Still, given the propensity for data to drift over time I can’t help but wonder how soon until Scylla’s Blimp is featured on Snopes? (Right next to Baz Lurhman, no doubt)
InkBlot
Scylla, you own my ass. I’m reduced to a rib-aching, stomach-hurting, tears-streaming, dizzy laughing mess.
Long live the blimp.