I just reported myself. :eek: I hope I won’t get into too much trouble.
It will go on your Permanent Record[sup]TM[/sup].:eek:
Monsooning, and the store is leaking. Dinner is about to commence.
See what happens when y’all sucker me into starting the new MMP 
Bet y’all won’t make that mistake again!
Which brings to mind a teenaged memory.
Way back in the dark ages when I wanted to start dating, my parents were pretty strict and before any suitor could take me out he would have to meet my father and go through the inquisition.
They made it so hard for me to date that eventually I just gave up, and since my best friend of the time had even stricter parents, we girls just hung out together - all the time.
So my best friend Barb, her mom used to call us hon, and other pet names which of course was annoying to us and a source of embarrassment to Barb. One day my other friend Alice (not their real names of course) started teasing Barb and started calling her hon and babe. Well, soon we were all teasing around and it became a habit that we never thought any more about until school started back up in the fall.
I was late for Spanish class and from across the classroom Barb called out to me ‘Hey Hon where you been, I was getting worried about you’, and I responded ‘Sorry Babe, I got lost’. (I went to a big high school which had 5 buildings, 2 of which had connecting walkways, so it was easy to get lost until you figured it out).
You could have heard a pin drop in the classroom and even the teacher’s jaw dropped at hearing the exchange.
Well, little did I know that our parents were getting a bit concerned as well.
They never said anything to us but the next time I said I was going on a date and my mother confirmed it was with a* boy*
Well, not only did my date not have to come in and go through the inquisition but my mother took me out shopping for new clothes and I was told to stay out as late as I wanted.
Parents could be so funny sometimes.
I’d be willing to overlook it…
…for a batch of cookies! 
OH FUCK. Fuckfuckfuck. Someone on an online message board is insulting me. (Someone named “Someone.” Not someone in the pit this time.)
They think I’m retarded for not liking salad or sleeptalking.
[link removed]
must be a “hide user names from non board members” thing, but it looks like the troll is talking to himself.
In any event, “someone” obviously hasn’t heard of “freedom of speech”. I know you’re Canadienne, but still. Ignore the troll and don’t respond. We love you. That’s all you need to know.
Nah, they all show up as “someone” for some reason.
Apparently, a lot of mean Dopers hang out in that forum and diss a bunch of the Dopers here. I’m finding more mean posts about myself and others. Lovely.
It’s great to find out that people are being really mean to you online behind your back.
Maybe I should just quit this message board. Let the fuckheads win.
Midget - don’t quit this board - quit that one! Don’t let the trolls win!
eta - except for the Death Pool and Baker’s Dozen, this is really the only thread I post in. Don’t search a forum for your name. If other people are saying nasty things about you, that’s their problem, not yours! Stick to the people that appreciate you.
Please don’t bring offboard drama to the SDMB.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
oops
Hmm, I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to complain about that. Though I suppose it makes sense. I’ll stop it now. Sorry about that. Shouldn’t’ve gotten all riled up, I suppose.
Your lunch money is safe here, EmilyG. 
I usually bring a lunch from home, but good to know. 
I found that to be the best way in my formative years, indeed, a philosophy for my life.
I’m sure someone’s snakring about me, but I don’t care. Stay with us, we need ukelele accompaniment.
Okay, this is good.
“Someone on another board called me a Dukey Butt.”
Que ukelele
This is gonna work! I’m thinking Hot Tuna here, I can’t remember the song.
Hell, I’ll call you a Dukey Butt on this board.
[bold]Flytrap[/bold] is a Dukey Butt.