The Jedi Versus The X-Men (and women)

Need I elaborate? No.


There’s nothing in the Jedi bag o’ tricks that doesn’t resemble a mutant power or three, and the X-Men have had lots of experience dealing with those.

There is no reason for them to fight. They are both ‘the good guys’. After a few minutes they would realize that they need to team up to take down the Magneto/Palpatine alliance.

X-Men. They’ve cheated death dozens of times, and often died and come back. They wouldn’t get taken from behind by a bunch of punk-ass clones in white suits like those Jedi bitches.

I think that this fight is about as one-sided as JLA vs X-Men. Unless you are going with the Clone Wars Jedis (normal Jedi powers + super-speed and Samuari Jack bad-assatude). Even with that I think the X-dudes take 'em.

Ok, I’ll take the Jedi, assuming that they’re resistant to Xavier’s mind-control, and also that lightsabers can deflect solid bullets (or that the Jedi can dodge them like Spider-Man). The mutant melee specialists would have no answer for the Jedi’s lightsabers and reflexes*, while the lightsaber is a sufficiently awesome defensive weapon to neutralize ranged attacks.

  • = I guess this also assumes that adamantium isn’t that indestructable, i.e. that Wolverine wouldn’t be able to block a saber slash with his claws.

What pray tell would the jedi response to the fastball special followed by nightcrawel teleporting across one aveune of escape, Scott blasting another, Havok maulling the empty air between them all the while Bobby freezes the air in their lungs?

I mean other then death and undergarment soiling. :wally

Who’s writing it?

If it’s Lucas, I figure the Jedi would have some kind of mutant power dampening field that was never mentioned before that would basically turn the X-men into cannon fodder.

Either that, or R2 would save the day.

Fuck, Dazzler and Speedball could beat all the Jedi, with a little help from Rick Jones.

Precognitiion + Enhanced Reflexes = Dodge

Precognition+Lightsaber = Dead elf

Lightsabre deflect.

This is the harder one, they’ve never shown good defenses against area attack, but I’ll just say leap to close the distance and lightsabre 'em.

Precognition is a bitch. Really hard to get the drop on a force user. And since they have weapons that are unblockable and instantly lethal, you pretty much have to. The only hope is that the higher-level psionics can crack their minds. Which they probably could, but can they do it fast enough?

This all assumes we’re talking named, elite Jedi here. prequel Obi Wan, ROTS Anakin, ROTJ Luke, Mace, etc. and not some extra that was taken out by troopers.

Of course, some versions of the X-Men are pretty much Jedi-Proof. Magneto would just take their lightsabres and toss cars at them until they got tired and dropped. Phoenix is way beyond any small group of Jedi. Even Quicksilver could outmauver them. But I’d lay odds on the Force against the original team or the current Astonishing squad (minus Shadowcat, she’s untouchable and way boyond mind tricks), for example.

Yeah, if there’s no Phoenix involved then it’s Jedi all the way. It’s damn hard to beat someone (or a group) who can know when and where your attack is coming, how it’ll be brought, and where to avoid it.

Toss in the hacky lightsabers and the X-Men are looking at a world of armlessness.

I don’t think Magneto would necessarily have an advantage, so long as he was up against a sufficiently strong force-user. Ok, so he takes Yoda’s lightsaber, then picks up a car to throw at him. Meanwhile, Yoda has picked up Magneto and is throwing him into a mountain. Then he takes his lightsaber back.

Here’s a Good anti-Jedi squad (excluding Phoenix and upper-level psychics, because that’s boring :wink: ):

Storm: Flight and area effects.
Shadowcat: Can the Jedi do anything to her? In the meantime she pops out of the ground behind them and removes their hearts.
Magneto: As stated above.
Wolverine: Admantium stops a lightsabre. Oh sure, it’d cut through soft tissue and heat the skeleton cooking both the area surrounding the bone and cook the bone and nerves underneath the metal sheath, putting him in unimaginable agony and perhaps causong damage even Logan can’t heal, but maybe someone else could get in a hit while a Jedi tries to disentangle his lightsabre from Logan’s ribcage.

Another vote for Jedi. The X-men can’t close to melee range, even with Colossus and Wolverine the fight wouldn’t last two seconds. The precog thing wins most of the rest. Even Havok can only shoot in one general direction at once, and as soon as he does, a force-guided flying saber takes his head.

So, Jedi, but with some casualties. Though the X-men with flying powers could escape pretty easily.

But Professor X, Jean Grey, Psylocke, or Emma Frost could telepathically take control of all the Jedi, or at the very least read their thoughts and “direct” the team in battle. Some of the Jedi could put up a good fight, but with those four telepaths, Wolverine, and Magneto (as well as Shadowcat and Nightcrawler, who will very likely never get touched), the X-Men would definitely take the Jedi.

Here’s one I’d love to see: the Authority vs. the entire Empire. On Coruscant, with Jack Hawksmoor in the lead. Wouldn’t last very long.

They really couldn’t. The Jedi are all about mental control and self-discipline. If anyone can resist psychic compulsion, these guys can. I’m sure they could eventually crack one if they had time to continually probe his defenses and chose a moment of weakness, but not before they take a lightsabre to the face.

As for reading thoughts, I’d suspect that the Jedi are so Zen that thought and action are one, so even if they could, it wouldn’t be an advantage.

Wait. Can we include Dark Jedi also? I mean, Magneto is like a darkside X-man. If they get Magneto, we get Dark Jedi…

“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.”

1)Even pyschics can have problems with Wolverines method of fighting. It would probably give the jedi some problems as well. Also, the precog thing isn’t perfect otherwise no jedi would ever die except for by natural causes.

2)Havok and Cyclops can blast a very large area with their powers and both would be hard to block with the happy fun glow stick.

3)Even without Havok and Cyclops, you have Polaris and Iceman capable of devastating large scale area attacks. Precog will do you no good when you are still frozen caveman jedi. It also won’t do you much good when your shiny metal light saber is being pulled apart or the iron in your blood is being gripped.

4)Not to mention Storm. You can predict a tornado, but it ain’t gonna save you when you’re in it.

5)Then you have Rachael Summers/Phoenix. In fact, any pure telepath from the x-side should be capable of taking a jedi down. They dabble in the mental arts. The X-folk are purists and pros to boot.

Conclusion:The X-Men may (and I do mean may) be weak in the melee category, but the long range grouping completely tips the balance in their favor. It doesn’t help that, unlike most of the jedis foes, the x-men can aim. This one goes to the merry mutants.

The Jedis never hesitate to kill, which is not something you can say about the X-Men. Jedis win.

Refresh my memory, dude.
HOW did all the Jedi get wiped out again?

X-Men. Easy money.