For some reason I can’t put my finger on, I do not want to have a shared learning experience in which we discover my child’s sexual orientation.
You are looking at this from the adult point of view. In NJ my kids grew up on a street with two gay couples. They lived together, one pair for a very long time, clearly loved one another, but my kids never thought about it in terms of what they did in bed. This was as much a natural part of their environment as the married opposite sex couples and the woman on her third husband and as their many adopted friends. I expect that when kids grow up with same sex couples as a natural part of their environment they won’t get shocked when they realize about the sex part (probably less than when they realize their parents are still doing it.) Unless of course they fall under the influence of someone with an agenda.
Which is why it’s important that one of the things you teach them is to question.
Anecdote time: At a recent family gathering, a young cousin (about 8) was present, as was a family member who’s transsexual. At one point during dinner, the youngster asked “Are you a boy or a girl?” The response: “I prefer to think of myself as a girl”. To which the youngster replied “OK”, and didn’t worry about it any further.
OK, so gender identity isn’t the same thing as orientation, but it seems to me that if kids can casually accept transsexuality that way, they can accept homosexuality, too.
Agreed. I don’t think kids really learn to question until they get to college. It pretty much depends on the professors they have. Some professors do not like students questioning them; however, I think most professors encourage it (as they should).
And sponsored by the letters K and B and the number 5.