It’s 1:00 p.m., and still no maintenance guy. I know I’m not their only concern, but a) they were originally supposed to be here last Tuesday and never showed up, and I had to ask the manager about it and b) they spent the morning mowing and using the leaf blower. Since when does mowing supersede maintenance?
I’ll give them a few minutes to finish lunch and then call.
Raises hand. I’ve been up since 3:30 (doggie had to go out) and couldn’t get back to sleep due to pain in my leg (I’ve had it off and on for over two years. Yes, I’ve been to doctor. Don’t know what it is, but apparently it’s not a blood clot or anything. For subscribers to Sarno/Schubiner theories of chronic pain, I believe it is TMS/MBS). I believe this leg pain started after my dear friend B died in June 2018. My mother died three months prior. I wasn’t close to my mother, but when she needed to be in assisted living, I moved her here all by myself (no spouse, siblings, kids-- I did it all by myself with no help) and played the role of a dutiful daughter (more atonement) until she died peacefully in March 2018. Took care of everything 100% all alone as I always have to. So weary of that. Wish I had someone, anyone to pass the ball to.
Anyhoo, I tried to walk at the mall this morning (where I took the picture of that stupid Bill Gates t-shirt), but just started feeling weird so I came home. I haven’t been close to a panic attack since I started the CBD oil over a week ago. Tried to nap, but the panic was creeping up. Finally succumbed to .25 mg xanax a little while ago. I feel defeated and lonely and angry and desperate for some kind of comfort anywhere. 
I want in-person comfort from another person who actually loves me. But there is no one. And when the pandemic is over, there won’t be anyone then either. I thought I had the panic on the run.
I’m so angry about this leg pain. It comes and goes. I can go a week without any, then it shows up. When it’s here, it’s the worst at night.
I dread the nights. Maybe the xanax will kick in soon and I can go back to feeling the illusion of sort of normal.
[/complaining]
Two loads of laundry are clean and fluffy-dry. Got a taco nearby at a local joint, so I did my part for the local economy. (They hooked me UP with my side of refried beans, too. Filled the clamshell to the hilt, it’s like a soupbowl’s worth.)
Well, was. Almost gone, now … fart fest to follow!
Caught Monkey in a sleepy moment, and brushed his teeth a bit (he won’t let me do anything as thorough as what Nikki will permit) and clipped all his numerous front claws. I swear I just did that, and here he is click-clicking on curved sickle claws like the damn raptors in “Jurassic Park.”
Okay, well, if I want that nap, I’ll hafta make the bed first. Gawd, this adulting thing is hard!
More {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{for all}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. 
Love 
Enough to share. Kinda like the Little Food Pantry-take what you need. Easily and gladly refillable from afar.
Gonna try one more time for a wee nap before taking on the evening and dinner duties, like thinking of some darn thing to eat That’s in the cupboard and is on the plate in5 minutes or less. In this spirit lunch was chunky pb on Ritz crackers.
42 degrees here, blustery and driving rain so time to hunker down under an afghan, Perhaps I can get a kitty to join me.
Everyone near the fires, keep safe and stay in touch when you can. Can’t imagine how frightening it must be or how hard it is to find good air to breathe.
Boo
I know its Toosday but it sucks like Munday.
I hear that! Does it help any to know that there are other people out there (and in here) who are feeling the exact same thing? If it gets to be too much, drop me a line and we’ll video chat.
Hey, I want to video chat too. What I would give to see some friend faces and smiles…
Boo
US CDT
Can that be done through Discord? Even a drop in Zoom coffee/tea klatch weekly would help me keep my head and heart on straight. Ahhh…smiles. Animated eyes…
Yes, actually it does… some.
We tried a Doper chat a very short time ago… was it on Zoom? Frankly, I don’t remember. Surely, someone with a younger brain remembers… An MMP Zoom might be a very nice thing to look forward to.
P.S. My xanax kicked in, so panic monster temporarily caged and soothed.
Howdy Y’all! Laundry got laundered but bug man did not show. Maybe I got the day wrong. Maybe he and my meds will show up tomorrow. If he doesn’t, I’ll put in a call. Anywho, sup has been et and we be chillin’.
Hugs for all that wants or needs 'em!
Two phone calls later, Fred the Maintenance Guy shows up. Management told him the day but not the time. That’s the story, anyway. He was here about 10 minutes, fixed all three problems, and is now gone. I’m happy. It’s the little things–good thing, as there are so few big ones.
Thel, glad you’re feeling better. I wish docs understood the brain better. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just supplement whatever our brains are low on that’s making us miserable? It wouldn’t fix the situational stuff, but it’d help.
Hoping susan and wife are OK.
I’ve been using Google Meet a lot lately. Also Facebook now has a video chat feature. The former is best for “more than two” conversations.
I’m not on Facebook.
Then Google Meet it is! Simple to do, too.
Then I will need some learnin’. I promise to listen in class and do my homework. Being on time could be a problem.
Boo
US Central Time
ThelmaLou is in Central too. I’m Pacific, obviously.
I downloaded Google Meet for iPad (see, I’m not hopeless, just ‘puter daft). Now I’m at ‘start new meeting-send an instant link’ page and don’t know what to do next. Being on an iPad the next step might different-Apple be quirky.
Boo
There should be a button that says “code generated” in the dropdown menu after you clicked on “New meeting.” Click that and copy the code. Then send it to TL.
Short sort today. I did a load of towels, and dusted. I put flea drops on the critters, and coned them so they don’t lick it off. Alex Catt is currently sulking on the oven.
{{{{Thel}}}}
{{{{[hugs}}}}}} <–for anyone else who needs one.
Yay for getting ready to drive dot! Any time that I’ve had driving restrictions, I’ve begun to feel cooped up.
Ouch Moooooooom! I hope that you don’t bruise badly or get too sore.
silenus, are you teaching virtually or in person?
I hope that your car is safely back on the road and it doesn’t cost $$$$$ Johnny.
{{{MMP}}}
I owe, I owe, it’s back to irk I go (or went, in this case). I got a lot of things done today, came home, walked Nelson, swept the kitchen, laundry room, bathroom and entry way and et. Now to play in the studio.
Stay safe and healthy y’all!
Virtually only. Our district took that step early.
I’m sorry you had another visit from the Panic Monster, he’s a bastard.
Can I infer from the ^^ that the CBD is at least helping a bit?
(If so, happy dance!)
(If not, I apologize for misunderstanding.)
No nap for me, as I was given the go-ahead to harvest my shh-hey-they’re-legal-here plants and was too excited to even think of sleeping after that. Felt like a kid on the day before Christmas Eve.
Still do, as a matter of fact. Hey, I’ve never done this before, okay!
They’re hanging upside down in my basement stairwell now, drying like bundles of any other witchy herbs.
Dinner was simple, some kielbasa sausage and two of the little onions I got yesterday at the produce stand out in the middle of nowhere, plus a French roll and a nice hot cuppa tea.
And a multivitamin!
Put away some laundry … okay, I made the bed with the sheets I just washed.
Still counts!
